Working, Moving, Running, Starting College, and Shooting up.

Well I have moved in to my new place, the colors are spectacular, the floors are awesome. The inside is really cool, new toilet, new oven & stove. Here are some before and after pics of the bathroom. I am still waiting for my pod, which contains all of my belongings from my old place. Since I had to move from my apartment in Burnaby to my parents house when I was out of the hospital for only three days, I really don't remember what I stored in my pod (a mobile mini storage unit) It all happened so fast (see prev blog entries)So for right now I am sleeping on a blow up bed provided by Nadja. I had started a new job at a company called E-Care which is a collection company for online payday loan company's. Its a really strange job. It is basically an online money mart . It is only available in the USA with the collection department in Canada. I phone the people that don't pay. It is very confusing for me, and really hard to remember the American collection laws, Bankruptcy laws, and legalities, not to mention the computer programs they use. So I have decided to leave this company after only a week. I applied to the Running room in Richmond for a job. I have an interview today at 3:00 pm. I figure with school starting in September I need a less stressful job. So the money wont be the same but the stress level will be much lower.

I have also just got back from Douglas College and found out where I stand with with what courses I need for my Pre-Nursing. It will still be about a year, before I can take the Pre-Nursing courses, and I still have to take my English tests to see where I stand with that. So I am still looking at a year or so of upgrading before I can take the pre nursing.

RBC is offering me a departure payment, as while I was in the hospital my job was outsourced. So I had no job to return to when I recovered to the point of being able to return to work. I get a set amount of money if I want a lump some of money, or I can get double the amount of money in biweekly payments as long as I make an effort to look for a job. I also have my 5 years of RRSP in RBC stocks that I can cash in and I am still waiting for my tax refund as well.
 
 
  
The Marathon training is going well. I have some more pics of our runs, the last two Sundays have been 16kl runs, I run them in about two hours, and have kept up with my weekly tempo runs. I missed a couple of days but only when I was moving all day and working. I have an average of about 30-35 kl per week (give or take I haven't been updating my running logs very much)

Here is a picture of some gentlemen cooking something in a camping barbecue outside my bathroom window. They are literally about a foot and a half from my window smoking something, and cooking something that sure aint food in the barbecue. I took a picture from my kitchen window, and you can kind of see the barbecue and the dudes. I walked out pretending to put the garbage out and asked them what they were doing. They told me they were just waiting for there friend to come home. I told them they can't cook there as it is right outside my bathroom window, and they'll have to wait for there friend off the property. I apologize for the crappy picture
  

Part of the Running Crew & Renovation Of My Apartment

Here is my new place. You can see my windows on the bottom floor. Just behind the bushes. The inside needs some work. Mandy and I are painting the sealing, the walls, and we will have new floors installed. The oven needs to be replaced as you can see



I have spent the last three days renovating the interior and keeping up with my jogging, were talking about 10 to 12 hours a day at the apartment and then my regular runs at the running room.

The running room is going well. I have logged over 40 kl last week, and we are forming a group of fellow runners if roughly the same speed group.


  
I apologize for the crappy pictures of the running crew. I will get better. These don't do you all justice.

The Running Room Marathon Clinic

I had my first long run with the Running Room. It was the second run that the group has done. On June 8th we ran 6kl. On June 10th I ran 6.13kl on my own. Then on Sunday the 11th (at 8:30 in the morning) I ran 9kl in about 1:08hr. I am in the "just finish crew" there are other crews that are going for specific times to finish the Marathon. I just want to finish.

There were about 22 people on this run on Sunday.


There are two prime running instructors from the Running Room. One is Daryl The other is Angela (below)
-this picture is better than the one I had on previously posted.


Here is a collection of photos from our run.

I must say this is a very cool way to prepare for a marathon. We meet twice a week and we have guest speakers, who cover things like food, stretching, mental preparation, clothes and all sorts of stuff. Everyone is really supportive, and all your fellow runners are super supportive. I also received my official LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon confirmation

The LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon 2006

So I am new signed up for the LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon on October 22nd, 2006. This will be the first Marathon I have run. I have recently run a 10k run in Vancouver (see prev posts) I have signed up with the Running Room in Vancouver to help train for it. Over the last year since I left the hospital I have run an average of about 30-40 kl per week. As well as weight lifting. I have a very small camera that I will use to track my training. I will also see if I am comfortable using the camera while I run the marathon itself. So with 20 weeks to go until the marathon. Join me as I blog my efforts.

During this time I may also be updating my blog with my moving, and starting school. I start Douglas college in September, and will be moving by the end of this month. This is a lot of new information for me to absorb since my injury (see prev posts) There is some concern whether I will overload myself or not. I just now that I am tired of "waiting" to get better. I was originally informed that I would continue to recover over a two year period. The early recovery would be rapid improvements, and then they would slowly taper off.

After nearly dying, I have learned that I don't want to go out being the guy that complains on how the world is not fair to me. I don't want to go out having complained why I didn't accomplish things. I want to go out having accomplished. There will always be reason why I cant do something. If that is what I focus on I will never do anything. Now I got to go run, I got a fucking marathon to train for.

Please help me raise money. I am saving up to go to school, and I also need funds to help pay for my trip to Chicago. So click on my adds. I get paid for every click. Hey its cheaper than a donation!! (adds are on the top of my blog)

How I live with Tramatic Brain Injury

Ever since I woke up in the hospital after my surgery, I have had the biggest problem remembering things. The technical words are Short Term Memory Deficit. When people here the words "I have a memory problem" What follows is usually something like "yeah me to", or "I wish I had brain injury to blame for my forgetfulness “I find this along the same lines as "I wish I was blind so my hearing would get better" being said to someone who lost there vision. It's insulting. I know they mean well, but it still diminishes what I have gone through. I also have problems with people not understanding that this is a disability. I don't think I would have been approved of disability if this was some simple "memory issue" it is so much more. People just don't understand that it is not an excuse to "forgot to get the milk honey" Or "I forgot your birthday".

What people just don't get, is how I can remember some things one day but not the next. How can I remember to go to the grocery store, but forget why I went? I know I am there to shop, but shop for what? What do I need? What do I like? Do I like that toothpaste? Do I need toothpaste? Do I have milk? What kind of milk do I need, skin milk, whole milk, 2% milk? What size a bottle, etc. This happens with everything I need at the grocery store. It is so confusing. By the time I remember I need a 2%, 954kl bottle of milk. I forgot I need eggs. I get embarrassed. What’s worse is when a helpful staff member asks if I found what I am looking for. "I don't know what I am looking for". This often leaves helpful staff very confused. People don't get how I could not know why I am at the grocery store. Not to mention I must freak out security. Why is he walking down the same isle over and over again. Don't get me started about Malls. So many places so many people my brain just doesn’t stop. Its called flooding. Its like when to many programs run on your computer at once, it just slows everything down. I just grab on to Mandy and follow here around. I just hope no sales person talks to me while she is in a change room. In the months since I left the hospital I have come across some very affective strategies to get through what most people take for granted.

1) Post it notes are a god send. I have them every where in my house with a pen attached. By every phone, by the doors, in the bathroom.





2) I also need very specific goals. I have a long term goal, an intermediate goal, and short term or daily goals. They also all link together. My long term goals are say "graduate from college with a nursing degree", intermediate goals are "enrol in school", Short term goals are "contact college and find out how to register" All the goals link together. I also have a long term goal of running a marathon in October of this year. I have intermediate goals of distance, and planning the trip and hotels there. Short term goals are "run 5k today" I have to keep these things up to date or I will lose sight of the different goals. It also helps me keep track of what I accomplish. One pleasant side effect of the memory loss is that I look at what I did in the preceding month and impress myself "I ran that far", "I signed up for school...cool". If you look at the picture of my board above this is where I keep a log of all my goals. As I complete them I cross them off, and add new ones as they arise. Also my “daily to do list” is essential for every day tasks, It says things like "go to Safeway, get milk, do not buy anything else", "Bring book for Biology to Biology teacher, study Biology" "start looking for housing" "put gas in mustang" "go to gym do abs, and chest, light run" This was organized for me by a very patient Mandy. Thank you Mandy. I highly recommend people get a Mandy.

3) The third important thing is that everyone has to work with you. Not only do I need to make sure they right things down on the post it notes for me. I need to make sure they see me right things down to. It is not enough to tell me that my physiotherapy called and they changed the appointment. I will say "oh ok" and show up for the original appointment. So I have to make sure that I then right that on my note board, my day planner, and my calendar. If I do not, and I don't also take out the original appointment. I will get very confused. I also get grumpy when people tell me to "put it in my planner" I don't know why, I know I need to. I guess I just don't like being told what to do. It reminds me that I have brain injury. I just want to be normal again. But if they don't see me right it down. I probably didn’t.

4) Keep notes of everything you do, every day. I have to write down that I paid Visa yesterday. If I don't I will pay it again. I have paid my cell phone bill twice, in the same month. When your living off of disability that is allot of money. I have to right it down when it happens, which during a busy day, can be time consuming. Again if I don't right it at that minute, I won't remember it later.

5) Google has a new calendar feature. It is just like all other calendars with a day and month schedule, it also has a daily to do list. It has the option to remind you of scheduled events, if you add this reminder feature during your set up. So I get little flashes on my computer that say "Math in two hours prepare to leave" This is just another form of reminder, and I will take all I can get. The coolest part of this easy to use scheduler is you can allow others access to your schedule. You have to invite them for your own security, but when I told my fiancé about this the possibilities seem remarkable. She can make sure I have added important events, plus keep track of events as I enter them, or complete them. It makes tracking several people's schedules a little easier. I highly recommend it for the Memory impaired, or busy family's trying to keep track of everyone’s schedules.

6) Very supportive people in my live. Without my Fiancé, my sister, my parents, and my friends understanding what I am going through, I would be lost. Professional help is also needed, I have had great Speech Pathologists, Physiotherapists, Occupational Therapists, and Social Service people. These people have experience with traumatic brain injury. Use them. There is no way I would get through this, without all these sources of information. I would not be training for a marathon, I would not be in school. Without the support of all these people to help lighten the load. I don't know where I would be.

7) Research. The best thing I did was to start researching Traumatic Brain Injury. I found books, I found support group’s. Check out your local government listings. Check out people with a disability information. One book I highly recommend is "Over my Head" by Claudia L. Osborn it is essential reading for traumatic brain injury survivors. I keep my copy on my nightstand. You can order a copy online at her website http://www.claudiaosborn.com/ she has allot of useful links to.

Another part of the research is that you will find very few answers. My Dr., Occupational Therapists, and Social Services all are very confusing to deal with. It is not from an unwilling to help. It is because there is no “How to deal with the brain injured” course they take. Don’t go along with the boat. Question everything. Talk to a Speech Pathologist as they seam to be the most knowledgeable. Also sign up with a support group. People who have been where you are now.

8) A good sense of humour and a belief that it will get better. I am lucky to be alive. I will never again be the person I was before. I have strange moods, I get frustrated, and on my bad days I feel hopeless. I lost so much, my home, my job, my memory, my privacy, my sense of who I am. I forgot everything. On the other hand. I am alive, I can walk and talk (I wasn’t ever supposed to be able to do that again) I am back in school after almost 16 years since leaving. I got engaged, and I am training for a Marathon. I don't know how much of this would have happened had I not had my accident. I don't really care. As long as I worry about what I once was, I will never realize my full potential.

After leaving home at 15, winding up homeless on the downtown east side of Vancouver, after 15 years of doing drugs. Going into recovery, being sober for over 5 years. Getting a job. Overcoming a stroke and having my skull removed for 30 days. Surviving Traumatic Brain Injury. I am alive, I am in love, I am starting college, and training for a Marathon. I am very lucky

Sun Run 2006 Photos

Here is me at the Vancouver Sun Run. It was a great run and a beautiful day. I finished in 1 hour 6 minutes, and that is after getting attacked by a lady jogger who tripped me on a sidewalk!! Just reinforces my theory that Old Woman are the downfall of today's society (joke) There were over 50,000 people at this years Run. Next year I will enter the expert category, not because I am an expert but because there were so many people you couldn't run at your common race speed. At least I could loose in comfort in the expert category. My next Run will be the 2006 Chicago Marathon with my sister in a few months.
 
 
 
 
  This is at the finish. All photo's were talking by my Fiance

So I am technically disabled

So the word is I am disabled. Mentally disabled that is. Now before everyone says they have known this all along, I am really not kidding. I went to Social Services today and took all my documentation of my surgery and I qualify for a person with disability. On the upside of that I got a pass to the local aquatic center today for free, and I get a disabled bus pass. I get some housing funding as well. The coolest part is I will probably qualify for some funding for school. If I want to go fishing I get a reduced rate fishing license too!!!

The frustrating part of all of this is the extra funding I get from the government is not pro rated. So while my insurance pays me a certain amount, and the provincial government kicks in a couple of bucks, I could have also been receiving extra funds from the federal government for the last year. I am so glad my Occupational Therapist is on the ball. So far they have cost me, $50.00 fee for not canceling my driving assessment while I was in Toronto (even though I called them several times to advise them of my extended stay), It cost me $99.00 to learn how to turn left while driving (see prev posts) Now they have cost me almost $800.00 in missed funds from the government for the last 10 months. Not to mention the money I have spent on the bus going the three zones to my driving assessment, to my Fiance's, to school etc. If I had never looked into a bus pass I would never have been led to the Social Service worker, who in turn linked me to the "people with disability's" info. So while I have a very minor form of disability (hey if recovered drug addict gets disability so should a memory impaired recovered drug addict) I don't know if I am nuts or not. I got so angry at the OT's lack of discussion with me, the lack of action, the lack of funds, the lack of information. If I had not complained, if I sat back and just acted on the information they provided, I would not be driving, I would not be in school, I would have less money, I would pay more for my prescriptions, and more for my physiotherapy. What the hell is the point of the community therapist with someone like me. I feel like I have been falling through cracks all this time. SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED. I will be filling complaint about the incompetence and continued "falling through the cracks" history I have had with the Community Therapist.

The other part of all this that is very frightening is that when I left the hospital I went to my parents house. You see my apartment had been sold while I was in the intensive care ward. The original plan was to move to the fourth floor where I would have been in a room with a more of apartment feel (not quit but not intensive care) I would have been able to come and go as I pleased, I would be able to eat at the cafeteria. It would have been a step forward to individual living instead of just throwing me out the door back to no job, no home, no memory. I also would have been sent to GF Strong a home for the memory injured. They would have had there own OT's, there own DR's, there own social service workers, and a history of dealing with people that have had traumatic brain injury. There would have been a waiting list for me to get into GF strong of at least 6 months. So I left the hospital and went to my parents house. We started my rehab ourselves, going to see a speech and Memory specialist at Burnaby hospital twice a week, I started physiotherapy, I started to see my Dr. on a regular basis. I had an OT that came to the house, she hooked me up with a psychologist, and there own memory dude. If I had not had a family that stepped up to take me home I would have been GF Strong, which my understanding is, it is the place to be for brain injury rehab. But because I left the hospital a month after I got in, and started getting help on my own instead of waiting the six months to start getting better, I missed out. I fell through the cracks.

This leads me to my point that at GF strong they would have been more equipped to handle all the needs I would have, they would have known what issues would come up. Instead I go home to an informant with no knowledge of what to do next, and an OT that is very new at her job, and doesn't inform us of about half the stuff that should have happened. So at the end of the day I am the one that pays for everyone else's incompetence. Don't get sick, its way to stressful to get better, and it costs to much money. I write this because I want all the other people out there dealing with traumatic Brain injures to know what services are available, I don't want anyone else to fall through cracks.

Ok there is my like thousand and two rant of the lack of responsibility of the OT company. Phew I am tired.

Back to school

Well I have added another course to my schooling. I take Biology 12 as well as Math, each twice a week. I am also taking the First Aid course by St Johns Ambulance with Mandy next week. I am training for the The Vancouver Sun Run. It's a busy time.

My Memory is still getting better, I am much better than I was originally. Physically I am getting better with crazy work outs, and physio once a week. I am also back to driving.

Driving is also very interesting, as I know how to drive I just often forget where I am going and how to get there. Its not to bad, because I map quest my way to a location, but coming back isn't as easy as backtracking the Map quest route.

Physiotherapy is also terrific, I get stabbed and shocked on a weekly basis. I feel so bad for my physiotherapist though. I often forget by the time I go to see her where I hurt. So I am the guy that goes "hey it hurts when I do this" I also repeat myself a lot. I am glad she has a sense of humour. To help me remember where my body hurts when I lie down at night I right it down (I keep a notebook by my bed), then take it to her when I see her. I also repeat myself a lot. I am glad she has a sense of humour. To help me remember where my body hurts when I lie down at night I right it down (I keep a notebook by my bed), then take it to her when I see her.

I am training for the Sun Run and that is going well. I am a half decent distant runner. I got a new Ipod from my awesome fiance which aids in the boredom of running. I average about between 6k to 12k depending on the day. I have days were I run to a hill, then sprint up it, walk down, sprint back up, walk down, and repeat. I also have distance days, were I add a little distance each time to slowly increase the goal to eventually run a Marathon.

The school is going as well as can be expected, the math is a challenge. I have a tendency to underestimate my ability's. It is still really hard to go to school. I have to read and re read the same thing several times to make it stick, then wright it down, then before class re read everything all over again. It's the same with books that I read, to remember where I am in the book I have to go back several pages to catch up to wear I was. So I'm at chapter 10, but I need to start at chapter 8 just to get back in the flow of the story. Thank god for multiple choice answers.

Doing all the pre wedding stuff is actually fun right now. My fiance and I are both low stress people, and don't feel the need to hurry in to getting married. So we have time to poke around and run ideas of each other. There is a lot more to planning a wedding than just showing up at the chapel though. I don't think I could get away with eloping!!

How I proposed to Mandy

My sister and I flew Mandy in from Vancouver to Toronto on Thursday night, March 2nd. She arrived at the airport at 1:00 am and was met by a pre planned limo.




Kathy and I in the morning before she leaves for Paris.
After dealing with my pre engagement stress for almost two weeks. Thanks Kathy
Kathy say's I am welcome -->









Mandy and I make our way through Toronto to the CN tower. I had made a reservation for us and had asked the waiter to take a picture of Mandy and I as I proposed. I had told Mandy that I was going to get the waiter to take a picture of us eating dinner on the CN Tower. She had no idea I was about to propose.

Look at her face, is she shocked or what!!
Me on one knee placing the wring on her finger. I lover Her

Look at that Smile (below), the Happy couple :*)



We pick up some mementos, from the CN tower gift shop, to help freeze the moment forever. Check out the key chains, we got one each.

We head back to my Sisters by cab and have some champagne and truffles. I had them waiting, along with some special champagne glasses I had picked up just for this moment.



That is the box the truffles came in, is that sweet or what?



I had great help getting the chocolate's and the champagne glasses picked out, by some very encouraging employees at Ashley on Bay St. Here is a picture of the employee's that were instramental in my being able to pull this wonderfull night off. The ladies to the left helped me with the chocolates and the box, the lady below helped me pick out the glasses







The next Morning we head out to do some shopping in Toronto, and to get Mandy's nail's done. Here are some photo's of the stores I had been to while preparing for the proposal, and some pictures of the Toronto Ice Festival.








It was a great trip in Toronto. Here is a picture of the ring, and what a beautiful hand. I love you Mandy.