My Wedding Suit, and Video Game Stag Party

This is the first really nice suit I have ever owned. It was purchased at Holt Renfrew and cost the same as a down payment on a house. It was altered to fit me perfectly. I apparently have huge thighs from my biking.

The Video Game Stag Party is tonight. It's going to be me, my best man, my friends, parents and a few other people all chilling at my friends place. I am bringing my Chair, my HD Screen, my Xbox 360 and my Steering wheel. My Best Man is bringing Rock Band, Dance Dance Revolution, and a Wii. The house we are going to already has a HD big screen and PlayStation 3. So this going to be three consoles going at the same time in the same room. With lot's of accessories, gone are the days of Stag party Strippers/Bars. We are going to order Pizza and Sushi, I am really looking forward to it.

Can't wait for the wedding to be over though. Way to much drama, to much stress, not enough payoff for you investment. I mean Mandy is worth the whole world. Don't get me wrong. I would recommend eloping to Vegas, tell people about it when you get back, save your money for a house.

That is all.

Cheers

Peak Center Training for Penticton Ironman 2009

This is my first attempt at Video Blogging. Mandy got me a new Handy-Cam as a pre-wedding gift. So I am able to record the wedding and my training. I started my workouts at Peak Center for Human Performance. Man I love that place, I blogged about it earlier. I got the first months' workout plans. They include my Run and Bike, and workout in detail. They include at what points during the run or bike, I should be picking it up to which zone. When they took my blood samples during the initial assessment, they were able to advice me what each setting in my Garmin is. So I get to input the Data to my Garmin. I want to run in zone 1 for 10 minutes, then zone 3 for 20 minutes, then back to zone 1 to taper down for 15 minutes. My zone 1 is about the pace I use when I do a long, slow run. Most runners know what I am talking about. But to figure out what zone 3 was, was a little harder. Basically it's not a full out sprint, but it's uncomfortable. Hard to talk, but I can maintain the tempo for as long as I can. My little Garmin will yell at me if I slow down, or speed up. Very cool for the traumatically injured brain people of the world, Or even the normal people of the world who don't have the time on top of school, work, crack smoking and hookers to do a detailed Ironman training plan. I have not posted the information because I want to make sure legally I can. So join me as I count down until the 2009 Penticton Ironman. With my wedding, school, and the all encompassing brain injury. Let's see where this goes!!

Microsoft Zune; Peak Center, and The 2009 Penticton Ironman

I got to meet two awesome people from Microsoft last weekend. We got to meet Sue and Tony, what really great people. You guys rock!!They came to Vancouver, from Toronto, to interview me about my use of technology after my accident.

This all started with my winning story about how I use Outlook as my memory. This is the link to the story. http://www.microsoft.com/canada/home/amazingstories/summerlovin.aspx#1


This story won me a HP laptop, Vista Ultimate, a Webcam, Office 2007, and a whole bunch of other software. I have blogged about this before.

When we met downtown Vancouver we went down near Stanley Park and I explained how technology helps me with my memory loss. On top of a great dinner, they gave me a 4 GB Zune.

I love the Zune. The first thing I did was sync it at home. I have added it to my network at home. I downloaded the Zune software and did the expected updates. What was really neat was it found all my friends. It also set's wirelessly to my PC. So I have a Triathlon Podcast and I was able to download it. Unlike my IPod it syncs without having to connect it to my computer.

The Zune also has FM Radio; it's a nice little addition. It's a little smaller than my IPod, and the screen is also made of glass instead of plastic. While I always put a protection cover on things, it is less resistant to scratches.

The software is similar to the IPod that it finds all your songs and files on the computer. I have not found an online movie store yet though. I have only had it for a day or so, and it is very new. I am looking forward to an online store. Apple has done a good job and it will be hard to match. We will see what happens.

I had my second meeting at Speed Theory. I have all my data and I will get weekly updates on my workouts to make sure I am training at the optimal level for me. I also get access to there gym, and a breakdown of how far to run, bike, and workout. I also know exactly how much protein and crabs I burn, and what I need to replace. So I am looking forward to my update this Sunday to start my Training in earnest.

I will be on track for the Ironman.

The wedding is almost here. This has been a roller coaster of preparation. I think I like the Triathlon Training better. It is just me I have to organize. It is hard making everyone happening.

It has been an interesting time since my accident. I have lost some very close friends that don't know how to deal with the new me. Some relationships have gotten closer, but others have been slowly dying. My Best man has informed me less than a month before the wedding he is not coming.

Apparently everyone else knew about this but me. So that sucks, he was one of my best friends and we were really close. So yeah, I don't know after my accident I learned that what matters wasn’t an extra hour at work, wasn’t getting that promotion. It was my family, my friends and what else I did with my life. I am a person who works to live, not lives to work.

Still it's hard loosing friends though, while I understand things change, people move and drift away. You expect them to let you know they won't be at your wedding ya know. I just don't want to get to bitter so that years down the road I am not still angry. As I am sure it really doesn’t affect him. I am sure he is sleeping just fine tonight, while I am still feeling the loss of a friend. People are weird.

Anyway, I have a tone of energy. Things are moving ahead, school starts in September, I have the wedding in August, and I am back in training mode. It's nice.

My personal Lactate, Vo2Max and Energy Usage Analysis for the 2009 Penticton Ironman

I start a training program at Peak Center http://www.peakcentrevancouver.ca/services_plans.php

So I am going to get on my bike in there and do a lab assesment.



This will help me with my Ironman Training. I am so stoked. I will finally understand how to use my Garmin to it's full potential. Because I have no Idea what most of the options are.



The wedding is coming up!! Both Mandy and I are very excited. I have never been on a cruise so our honey moon after the wedding is Island hopping on a cruse ship in Hawaii. That rocks.

You know there is something wrong with you, when the first thing I look for on the cruise ship is a track, and gym!! They have both BTW!!

That's about all for now. I got to go for a run.

Started My Ironman 2009 Training

OK so I went for the second run of the week yesterday. Mandy and I are running together. We head to the track and do some laps. She is beginning the whole running thing. As we both have our own pace and distance ability, we run around the track at our pace and can still be in roughly the same place. We tried running out on the street, but as our speeds and distance aren't the same, we found running the track (for the three days we run together) works out really well.

Heading out for a bike tomorrow, and try to get in a quick 10kl run. I am heading to my new Dentist tomorrow, so we will see how I feel.

I have registered for the Framing and Forming class at BCIT. It is the first step to the Carpentry program. So I take this semester of training, then one more semester after that. Then I am out doing my apprenticeship.

The wedding is up and coming, holy shit we are getting married. It is going to be my first trip to Hawaii. Then the honey moon is cruising the islands on a cruise ship. What does it say when one of the first things I look for is a pool I can swim in, and treadmill I can run on. There is something really wrong with me.

So I have to be in Penticton for the August 2008 Ironman to register for the 2009 Ironman. I also just like writing the word Ironman. I am trying to find some events to do between now and then. Maybe a Marathon or another Olympic distance Tri. We will see.

I am toying with the idea of using my blog as a vlog (video log) Maybe start recording the training process over the next year and a bit. We will see.

Garmin nuvi 650. Navigation for the Brain Injured. Microsoft Racing Wheel & Chiropractor's

One of the issues I face, after my TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), is finding my way around town. I grew up in B.C. and I know it like the back of my hand. After my accident I find it very difficult to "get my bearings" I no longer have the ability to register north and south. My internal GPS is broken. I got a Garmin 305 to help me when I ran (see previous posts). This was convenient for helping me keep track of where I was, and helped my get back to where I stated. It has a neat feature that sends you back to your starting position. Although I couldnt use it when I needed to drive to school, or go meet Mandy, or even find the local grocery store.

My parents had purchased a GPS for there car and loved it. The cost for a quality GPS though can be expensive. Needles to say, being a student, having a disability, and saving for my wedding, does not make for a financially profitable environment. So shelling out a few hundred bucks for car navigation didn’t seem like a priority.

We were at Costco one day and saw this nuvi 650



After thinking about it, Mandy and I decided to purchase it. What an amazing little device. It is quite intuitive and really easy to use. I mean if I can use it with my damaged brain imagine what you can do with it!

If you are a person with a brain injury or know someone who has had one, or if you just get lost really easy, this thing greatly reduces stress. It also stops those arguments we all have, when we get lost,and the subsequent argument that starts with the navigator/spouse!!

I threw my back out the other day and my Dr. recommended a Chiropractor who has not only fixed my back but fixed some the things that I have been complaining about for years. He was a real, down to earth, kind of guy to. I am also getting clinical massages that are helping me out.

I purchased the Microsoft Racing Wheel and the thing rocks. I use it with my Pyramat Gaming Chair. So I get to sit in my little gaming chair and then set up my racing wheel, and go for a drive. Loving it!!

The wedding planning is continuing. I got a great suit at Holt Renfrew fitted just for me. The cool thing is, while the suit may be hot for a Hawaii wedding. I will have a gorgeous suit I can use later on. I have never owned such a nice piece of clothing.

We are currently viewing a few photographers. The wedding will be in Hawaii, but we are going to have a Chinese ceremony in Vancouver. So we are looking for a photographer for that. Other than that, nothing else is really new.

HP dv9310ca, Vista Ultimate, and a new Garmin 305

So I won a new computer from the Microsoft "Summer Lovin'" contest, it's a HP dv9310ca, I won a copy of Vista Ultimate, and Office 2007 Student addition. It's super cool and replaces the old home PC I had that was running windows 2000. This computer is an entertainment notebook.



The contest was a short essay on how you use Microsoft and it's software to help you in summer. I just wrote I use Outlook calender to remind me what I need to do, the to do list, and I connect it all to my Windows Mobile phone to remind me where I need to be. It turns out my essay rocked, so I won. Here is the link to the essay http://www.microsoft.com/canada/home/amazingstories/summerlovin.aspx#1 It is titled Microsoft Office Outlook is my memory

The computer is very cool, it's a wide screen that is HD. I got an Xbox 360 for my birthday and this computer comes with Windows Media Center. So I can hook up my Xbox 360 as a media extender. What the hell does that mean you ask. Well it means that I can do things like have TV cable come to my PC, send the image to my Xbox 360 and watch TV on my regular TV, or computer. Ok not a big deal, I mean I can watch TV without the computer. AH but think about it this way. It stores the information on the Memory of the Xbox. So I can pause life TV, rewind, or fast forward through commercials. I can also set it to record an episode of a show that I am not at home to watch.

Vista is cool, it's new but it is very intuitive. It took me awhile to set it all up and I am still playing with it. It is very pretty.

I also got my Garmin back. I sent it back as I was no longer getting my cadence on my bike. I phoned and emailed Garmin support but was unable to resolve issue. So I sent it in to there repair department.They sent me a brand new Garmin, and Cadence sensor.

School has been intense and I will be finishing this semester off, and then switching to BCIT a Tech school. I am looking at becoming an Electrical apprentice. At my rate to get out of college with a degree, because of my disability. I am looking at 5-6 years or more for a bachelors degree. Where I can do one semester at BCIT and start working as an apprentice.

2007 Vancouver Triathlon / Back in School

I finished the Triathlon. It was truly amazing, we were up at 4:30a.m. and headed down to Stanley Park to set everything up in the transition area.

I waited on the start line for the start, and it was really something to jump into the water with a ton of people all in swim suit's.


Speaking of swim suit's that was the first time I have worn one while swimming. I am used to being in the ocean, I grew up near the beach, and don't mind cold water. I have the Polar Bear swim a couple of times. I got the swim suit because I was told that swimming that long in the water it will make a difference. What I didn't know was that it would actually make it easier to swim. It holds you up in the water. My swim time in the ocean was faster than my training time in the Aquatic center.

After the swim, I run out to my bike.


I then spent the next little while riding my bike around Stanley Park, there is a killer hill (well killer for me) four times. On the third time I asked a fellow biker "how many times are we doing this again"? She said four, I then asked what lap we where on and she said three. Oh the joys of my short term memory. I then dumped of the bike and started the 10kl run. My official numbers are this.

I was #228 out of #246
total 3:23:17

swim 36:51
bike 1:41:55
run 1:04:33

I finish the race and gave Mandy a big sweaty kiss.


Truly an awesome experience. I highly recommend you try one. Even a sprint distance, the Triathlon I did was Olympic, I am getting married next year so I am not going to train for the Ironman but I have already started to think about how to make that work. Hawaii Ironman 2009?? Ya never know.

Today, one day after the triathlon, I started school. I was on academic probation for my shitty biology mark from last semester. The school wanted me to take a semester off to "see how the real world works" I argued the point with, the powers that be, at the school. You see, I did very well in Psych, and Math, and English. So taking a semester off would be pointless, I am not going to become un disabled. I also don't need time to "experience the real world" I mean come on. I have spent almost 20 years in the real world, I don't think a semester off of Douglas will help focus me on my chosen carrier path.

So I made that point to the Head Registrar and they have allowed me back in school. I have to maintain a certain GPA overall or I will be asked to leave for two years. So I have to kick some ass.

One cool thing is I did get into an Abnormal Psych class and our group project this semester is to Volunteer at a Psychiatric Hospital. I am totally stoked on this. So I go get my criminal background test tomorrow and I will be headed to River View Hospital.

Mandy has also started school again, she is going into to the teaching program at UBC, today was her first day. So we have two poor students in the house. I am excited though.

I was looking back at my blog entry's from when I was living at my parents house to now, the first days after my injury, proposing to Mandy, the problems with the government, the frustrations of accepting my disability, the loss of my Grandma and Cousin, going back to school, the Marathon, now the Triathlon and my second year in college. It's been an amazing journey, that doesn't look like it's ending any time soon.

The only question now is what do I do next? Jump out of a plane, deep sea diving? Who knows, I will sleep on it.

Douglas Fall Semester/Sept 3rd Vancouver Triathlon

Well it has been a little while since I posted a Blog entry. I finished Summer semester and got a B- in Psychology, but once again got handed my ass by Biology. I don't know about non brain injured people, but I find the way the way Biology presents it's information to completely back words. I think more people would be do better in Biology if Biology teachers presented the information in a more thoughtful manner. I mean the first day they discus things that are not discussed, reviewed, taught, until the last week of school. They present this information in a way that makes you feel like they are saying "we know we havent taught this yet, but we will, so you have to understand it now, because it will be taught later. So now please apply the logic that has yet to be taught to you, because it will be taught to you" Anyway that is my vent.

The Government, did a review of my funding. Remember they were so sure I was being over paid. Well it turns out that they owe me money. So I received a cheque which was nice. I tell ya though, difficult to deal with is understating it.

Mandy got a Mac book computer, which is kinda cool. I must say I was a little disappointed. I am not sure what I was expecting, but it didn't "pop" the way I expected it to. On the other hand she did get an Ipod with the computer and since she has one already she gave it to me, so I have a new Ipod Nano, very cool.

I have registered for Fall semester, and going through all the paper work for my funding. Mandy is also starting school in September at UBC for teaching. So we are going to be two poor, overworked students, oh I can see the stress already.

My Triathlon is less than two weeks away. I need to find out if it is still on as the Vancouver City workers are on strike. I guess garbage men think they need to make more money. Well I am off for a swim.

Mandy's Birthday Weekend Spectacular/Triathlon Swimming

I was up at 6:15 with Mandy this morning. Had the juice and grapefruit, dropped Mandy off at sky train, and I headed to the pool.

I did a Warm up of 200 meters, each length is 50 meters so 200 is four laps. Then I did 8 x 50 meter laps, resting after each one for 30 seconds. I did a cool down of swimming on my back and just kicking.

Also met what may be my future trainer. I need some help with the swim. I biked for a couple of hours the other day, yesterday was a 20 minute bike ride. So today was the swim, then home to get ready for school.

I am supposed to be studying right now for my Psych test, but I decided to enter a blog update. As soon as class is done, I am heading home to rest for a bit, then heading out for a run.

I need to pick up another bike shirt. It's been a busy weekend with Mandy's birthday. I rented a boat on Friday so we could go for a boat ride, and lunch out on the water. Great Idea, I thought I was being supper Fiance. I forgot that Mandy gets sea sick!!! It was all good though, we took the boat back and went out for lunch down at Granville Island.



It was a whole weekend of Birthday celebration for Mandy, yesterday we went out for dim sum with her Grandma, sis, and mother. Then I did some studying while she tutored. Then we went out to a Noodle house for dinner with the Johannsen's, and Mandy's Mom, sis, and cousin Mathew.

The restaurant was called the Noodle Box, it was really good. We then went home to prep for today. So I am sitting outside my Psych class, I studied a little bit, but should probably get back to it..........


Happy Birthday Weekend Mandy

HTC S621 Smartphone, Triathlon Training, School

So a few months ago Mandy and I sent out some letters to various company's like Palm, Blackberry, Roger, Telus, and others. One of these company's was called HTC. I am adding there website to my blog under the links.

They responded and sent me this


It's basically like my palm on crack. It has a cell phone, a camera, a video camera, plays music, has WiFi, plus it syncs with my laptop so all my contacts, my to do lists, my email. I can take it all with me with one small device. It is truly an amazing product. I can go to Google earth and get directions when I get lost. It really is a very cool device. I have been using it to record some of my tutoring information, so moments before a test I can play a video of stuff like Biology notes.

I got a 2GB micro SD card into it. It runs with Windows Mobile. So I can download Outlook, Windows Media Files, Microsoft Office files, pictures, music, videos, not to mention lecture notes etc. I am going to ask for the GPS accessory for my b-day.

I have also finished my tattoo,


School is going much better than last semester, my grades are up and my ability to understand the information has improved. My tutor and I get together just before my weekly exam for Bio and catch up on the notes. Biology is still brutal for me.

My Triathlon training is in full gear, this was my training for today
(100 swim, 100 kick, 100 drill) x 2
3-5 x 100 (15-20 second rest) after each 100
Cool down 200 of whatever (there and back = 100)

Each 100 is a ,there and back, down the 50m pool length. I am thinking about getting some help with my swimming stroke. I mean I can swim, I just think I can increase my stroke and my technique. I don't have allot of $$ though so we will see.

The last couple of days have been like this.
Up at 6:15 with Mandy, Have juice and breakfast. Head out to the pool for my swimming. Then head home, eat, study then school. After school, get home and eat. Prep for dinner, prepare juice for next day. Head out for run. Get back home, eat dinner, study. Try to fit some time to actually talk to Mandy.

I got to tell ya, I really enjoy this. I mean I am doing stuff I really like, I am putting everything I have into everything I am doing. If I fail, or fall, or suck. At least I know I honestly did my best. It's weird. I think I am enjoying things. It has been a long time since I was this content.

Mandy's birthday is coming up. I will blog my gift to her and some surprises I have already for tomorrow. She does read the blog so I have to be carefull. Anyway I got to study........then run.........

Triathlon Training Started in Earnest.

Here is the latest news. Mandy has moved in, school has started, training for the Triathlon is one day old.

So yesterday I went for a swim at the Canada Games Pool.

I had a 300 yard swim, and realized that I may be able to run forever, I can bike even longer, but my swimming sucks. I mean I can swim, but man was that exhausting. I am thinking about getting some swim training. My form is OK but I think I need a little fine tuning, OK allot of fine tuning.

I was feeling pretty good after the swim and my class was cancelled by the teacher, so I thought I would throw in a short 6kl run. So I headed out to the New Westminster Quay.

It was nice run, a little cloudy, but warm without being to warm. I am predicting a very hot summer this year.

I was having some issue with my Garmin 305 picking up a satellite signal. Turns out there was an update for both the software, and the actual signal receiver. I only updated one part. I played with it today after updating and it works awesome. I am looking forward to using on my bike as I have only done that once. I purchased the Cadence Sensor for my 305 while I was working for the Running Room.



I will be using it tomorrow on my first bike ride in my Tri training.

Other Tri News, I had to return my Backpack I got from Rocket Science Sports. There were some minor issues with it. Let me tell ya not only were there no questions asked, but I got a pair of water bottles and a T-Shirt from them. Hear is there link http://www.rocketsciencesports.com/ What an awesome company. Rarely do you get a good product, at a good price, that treats you well, and stands by there product. Can't say enough good things about my experience with them. Here is a picture of my pack.



School is going good, I am in my second week. I have my first semester Psych teacher who rocks. Does a good teacher ever make a difference. I am retaking this semester as I overwhelmed myself last semester. Between school, work, training, nasty neighbors, and the government, I got my ass kicked. So I have licked my wounds and I am back into it. Not working, not teaching a clinic, new neighbors, and a great couple of teachers.

Mandy has moved in and that is a great help. I am able to focus on school, and training. I have a lot of help with things like shopping, laundry, and organizing. Simple things like remembering to the laundry can over whelm me. So to have some assistance on the daily issues really makes a difference. We also have a truck we have put back on the road so that makes it easier to get around. We only use it when we have a big shop to do, or on the weekends when we want to go visit someone. Also with the freaking price of gas, it is so much cheaper to bus, or run, or ride a bike.

The wedding planning is continuing, it is crazy how time just flows buy. Even when you don't remember it.

I had a CT scan the other week, and I have "Sleep Deprived EEG" to figure out what is going on my head. The headaches have gone down a bit, but I still get some weird smells now and then.

That is about it, I need to go study now.

Vancouver Sun Run 2007, Wheat Grass, Starting the Triathlon Training

Well the Sun Run is over; my finish time was 1:10:46 I was the 22340 person to finish. It was a total blast this year, and I was not tripped by little old lady this time. I ran with Mandy, Junko, and Mathew. Mathew and I trained at the Running Room. I was the instructor for the clinic, and he was a client. He is also Mandy’s cousin. We stuck together for the most part, but we got a little separated near the end.

It was crazy busy, there were 54,317 people there. You spend most of your time trying not to run into someone else, and I spent a lot of the time yelling at people “Walkers to the Right” over and over again. It was a really good time. We all jumped on the skytrain (after some drama as to which skytrain) and then we went to Mandy's and had a great breakfast by here mom.

My neighbors upstairs are gone. What a drama that was, on the day that legally, they were to be out, the Landlord and I entered the suite. We find they had not packed anything up. As we are going through the suite wondering what to do, one of the tenants came home. He apparently was never informed by the other tenants he was evicted. He works for a moving company so was able to get his stuff out by the next day.

The property owners are now looking for other tenants, but being a little more causes as to whom they rent too.

I have had a weird couple of weeks. I showing some sines of depression, and made an appointment to see my Dr. I quit work, and stopped school. I wound up sitting in my bed and trying to get the energy to run, or bike, or anything. However, the crap that has gone on in the last few months completely over whelmed me. Therefore, I made an appointment to see my Dr. and have been referred to a Neurologist. There is some concern that the neurons in my head may be miss firing. He does not think I am depressed, but may have developed some OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and need to have my brain looked at.

I am also getting my Tattoo finished, and I am going to have an older tattoo I had from a previous relationship removed. When I was 16, I got a Tattoo of a girl's name on my chest. I know, I know. Hey what can I say, I did a few drugs back in the day, and I was probably stoned. Anyway, I do not really want to have another girls name on me when I marry Mandy and I am sure Mandy does not want me to have it any more either. My first hint was when she was trying to scratch it out of me the other night.

So I am going to have some laser surgery done to soften up the color, and then place a new tattoo over top of it. I am much more finiky of what I get put on my body these days so I am maybe going to put a fish on it. Mandy and I are thinking maybe a Koy Fish, I will update this down the road.

One cool thing is my Wheat Grass came. In previous posts I talked about my Vita-Mixer, and how I loved making my own whole food juices. Well I got addicted to wheat grass when I was in Toronto last year. I also got a little tired of paying $1.50 a shot for it. So I asked at the local Juggo Juice who there supplier was, and called the dude. It is $12.00 for a tray of wheat grass. I will get about 20-30 shots of wheat grass for that. Instead of the $45.00, it would cost to buy the same amount at the juice store.

I am also starting my Triathlon training in the coming weeks. I am going to get my but up and moving. Start the swimming, biking, and running. I will be focusing on school only this semester and not working, or instructing a clinic, if I still struggle than this will mean that the courses I have chosen are not for me, and I will reevaluate what I am doing.

Mandy is moving in at the end of the month, so that will help with things like, cooking, shopping, laundry etc. It will also help financially as I will not be working. We have a limited amount of space in this little bachelor pad. I have no doubts we will make this work.

I am having more issues with Social Service. I have to declare my income each month as this determines how much support I receive from them for my disability income. So last semester I received a $200.00 grant from an unknown donor. I declared that on my form, as exactly that. I received in the mail today the form returned for reasons that “$200.00 from donor? Do you mean a loan or gift? Explain and return form"

So I went to the Oxford dictionary online, and wrote on the form

Grant
• Noun 1) a sum of money given by a government or public body for a particular purpose. 2) The action of granting something. 3) Law a legal conveyance or formal conferment.

I then went to Social Service stood in line and handed it in. It is so stupid that they make it so difficult to work, or try and earn an income. As a person with disability, I receive a certain amount of money from the government. I want to work for two reasons, 1) I get bored not working and 2) I want to add to my total income. When I was working 1 day a week. I increased the amount of money I had each month by about $60-$80, for every dollar I earn they reduce the amount of support I receive. Which I am totally down for. The problem with this though, has been the process of declaring your income, I have had nothing but problems doing this. The amount of time, the line-ups, the treatment, the insults, the frustration. It really isn’t worth the extra money each month to work. So I quit the job.

This, at the end of the day, means that the taxpayers pay more money for me not to work. Crazy. I have written our local government, I have written Social Service, the newspapers, I have blogged about this, and it is so stupid.

Anyway with not working, not teaching a clinic, having the neighbors gone, and Mandy living with me. I am expecting a much better GPA this semester. I will be starting my Triathlon training so keep checking out the post

I can't live with my neighbors anymore.

This is a copy of my apartment complaints. I am going to head to the police office to pick up a copy of the police complaints I have made via the Freedom of Information Act. It has been confirmed that the tenants above me will not be hear. It has be reconfirmed by my landlord Raj (daughter of owner) This does not mean however that the tenants will be moved out. It has been really strange. I thought the landlord was getting a sheriff, I mean that is what I understood. Now it appears I am getting a different story. At the end of the day, it has been confirmed that they are out at the end of the month. If this turns out not be true, Then I am gone.

Even if I move; I still have to give 30 days notice, and buy the time I finish looking at places, and disconnect everything, pack my stuff, get it all moved, unpack, change my address. I am out allot of time and money. I have my finals coming up.....It's not just that, it takes me so long to remember what key is for my door, what bus I have to catch. Where is the grocery store. I don't know. I am starting to get extremely depressed. I feel like no matter what I do there is no good option. I just want to live in a safe place, and focus on school, the wedding, the Triathlon.

It makes me wonder though, as since my accident I have felt extremely stressed. I do know that last semester, was difficult, but was also doable. This semester my stress is overwhelming. School is kicking my ass, work is stressing me out, the apartment is taking it's toll on me, social service is also stressful. I mean it's enough to make me wonder if it's the way I am inputting the information. I don't think the world is out to get me, but when you are constantly frustrated, and feels like whenever something good happens, 6 bad things happen. I just want a routine, a calm routine, with some sort of stability. Hell maybe I am nuts. I don't know. I just feel so frustrated, and so useless. It seems like whats the point, why not just sit back and live of disability, less stress, consistency. I don't know. Here is a list I made of all my complaints. One good thing about the brain injury is I right everything down.

Apartment complaints since I moved in July 6th


1. July 24, 2006. Front door left open twice, very loud upstairs, told them @ 10:00 am to keep door closed, woke up again at 2:45 am as I can hear people talking at front door. I get up to check and they have propped the door open again. I un prop the door. Suite #3
2. August 9th, 2006, 3:57 am person just outside my window, yelling upstairs to throw a key down. They just jump onto the deck. Suite #3
3. August 10th 2006 Door propped open again. I close it
4. August 20th, 9:00p.m. Male yelling to have keys thrown down. From room above me. Suite #3
5. August 1st 2006: People yelling on the street Barking. Guy upstairs yells back and then throws keys out several people come into the building. Stereo goes on loud 10:29pm Suite #3
6. August 9th 2006: 3:47 am African American Male, standing just outside my window, says his cousin lives in the suite above me. He keeps yelling for tenant. I tell him to either buzz or phone him, but needs to leave the property Suite #3
7. August 10th, 2006 10:03p.m. Door opens no loud click as it closes. This is suspicious, can usually hear door close. Go outside, and look, same male as was outside last my window last night, leaving lobby, and door is propped open with news paper. I close it Suite #3
8. August11th, 2006, 12:46a.m. Constant knows from people one floor up, and across from me. Yelled twice to be quite. 2nd Friday in a rough.Suite #2
9. August 13th 2006 9:30 p.m. Male yelling to be let inside, sliding glass door from suite above me opens, Keys are thrown down. Suite #2
10. August 17, 2006 11:00 smoke coming in windows go outside worried about fire, 2nd floor has barbecue going unattended, fire coming off, but within barbecue. Lots of smoke. I close my windows. Don’t sleep very well Suite #2
11. August 25, 2006 11:55 Constant noise from tenants who need to pay rent. Same as BBQ on deck, guests stand outside and scream, they sit on deck and get loud and drunk. Yell at cars, and people passing. I put in ear peaces Suite #2
12. September 1st, 2006: 3:25 am. Laundry door opens; light gets turned on, someone doing laundry. Doors closing, very loud Suite #2 (baby clothes upon inspection)
13. September 9th 2006, 6:00am Three males yelling on deck above me and over one. I went outside and yelled to be quit. No response. I did it again, and a group of Males start giggling. They became verbally abusive, Start arguing with me, told me to shut up and go inside. Advice I will call the landlord. They tell me to fuck off. I call landlord. They do become quite. 10 minutes later, someone is buzzing to there door. They are buzzed inside, but don’t put down the mouth there intercom system. So you can hear them through the speakers out the front door. I try to buzz it, but no response. Can hear constant noise from there apartment as the intercom is left on. Suite #2
14. November 23rd 10:05 Screaming male outside. Very loud. Front door opens constant noise of a group of people entering. Very upset, people screaming, and yelling, sounds like someone injured. I go outside as the noise is really loud, want to see who is entering the building. I get to lobby and there is group of 4 people, 1 white male, 5’11, and one female 5, 2. Pulling on door. Yelling at me to open it. I say no. I don’t know who they are. Girl gets really angry. Buzzes room above me. She is screaming, “my boyfriend was stabbed” Door is buzzed open at least 8 people head upstairs. I go back to my room. I Call Raj. Police and or ambulance (see the flashing lights through my blinds) Suite #3
15. November 25th 2006 1:30am Screams from girls outside, as tenants above throw snowballs at them. Door slams and noise from above as a group of kids come in and out of the building. Suite #3
16. December 23rd 2006 1:30-3:00am very loud banging at about 1:30am not consistent, fell asleep then at 3:00am very loud banging, liked door being slammed close repeatedly
17. January 8th 2007 Up late with constant noise, closed my windows, and put on ear peaces Suite #3
18. 4:32 pm ex tenant (the ones evicted) are sitting in the lobby, with baby stroller. Looking for his check from government. I advice he needs to leave, and to contact the post office.
19. January 20th, 2007: 12:28 Constant noise from unit #3 people yelling, music loud, argument in the lobby, yelling and screaming. Female and male arguing at front door. Very loud. I tell them to argue somewhere else. Male tells me to “chill out”
20. January 25th 2007 two females outside window @ 12:07 loud yelling. Room above me opens deck door and they climb up. very loud yelling for to get attention of room above me
21. January 30th Raj says eviction giving to Suite #3
22. Feb 5th, left message for Raj to advice what’s happening with eviction of Suite #3
23. February 8th, 10:45. Van parked outside, door propped open, people moving items upstairs. To suite across from #3 the new tenants. I advice them it’s way to late to be moving in.
24. Feb 13th Raj called and requested I go to room across from #2 and collect rent check. I returned call to Raj, Tenant says no check from government for rent, also had me go ask for post dated cheque's, tenant says bank hasn't given her cheque’s yet, passed message on to Raj
25. March 1st Raj entered Unit #3 as no answer, has given final eviction notice
26. March 7, 2007 Dryer not working, leave message for Raj on her cell
27. March 9th, 2007 1:00am black Honda civic with three mails, parked outside. Heard very loud whistling. Three mail cross the street to get attention, of girls, they come down stairs go outside smoke weed or are passing a cigarette around all five people that makes them cough. Call police but car leaves before it arrives.
28. March 9th, 2007 2:00 am same car back again, sitting across the street. Called police again, stereo is so loud, I can hear it inside my apartment. They stand outside and try to get the attention of the girls again.


These were the numbered notes above were from my day planner, and palm pilot. These were the ones I imputed with a date and time. The notes below are from my palm pilot, but from the note section. With no specific time or date.

Memo’s from my palm pilot

Noise upstairs, loud music, loud voices, Thumping, banging, girls screaming, went up stairs to ask them to quite down, unit #3 people across the hall from them having a party, said sorry, but within 10 minutes noise is back I called police and landlord, 14 people leave, when police come. People back 10 minutes later. Whole building smells like weed, and cigarettes. Another group comes at about 2:00 am

Friday 12:30 two females yelling outside, male opens deck they climb up from outside, group of teens standing outside apartment very loud, holding door open, while yelling at friends in car parked on street.

Very loud banging up stairs, 12:44 am, Man yelling, woke up sound moved threw the apartment. Then a huge bang and a scream. Sounded like a female, scream sounded bad then a huge thud. Banging stopped but stereo was turned on. Called 911 as really horrible scream. Police come, but tenants won’t open door. Police eventually get in. Find female’s and groups of people in apartment.

1:40 Fire alarm going off, black car (possible a CRV) pulling away got crappy video of car leaving, car has a loud muffler.

Police hear till 3:29 am Tenants in room #3 would’t open door. When police knocked for what seemed like hours. I am getting very frustrated

Saw tenant above me on bus on my way home from school. He laughs at me. Like he is enjoying how difficult they are being. I don’t want to go home. We get off bus at same stop. I walk away.



That is the information I am making for my landlord. It was really interesting to put all the notes together. Makes me wonder why I am still here.

A Day in the Life of a Traumatic Brain Injury Survivor!!

Alarm goes off at 8:30a.m. I hear the alarm, I don't know if it's built into me, or what part of the brain it's in, but there is a primordial response in the brain that knows exactly where the snooze button is. Brain Injury or not. I look at the time. It's 8:30 a.m. I know it's a.m. because it's light outside, and I would never be asleep at 8:30 p.m. I snooze, I don't really sleep, I lye in bed, and try to figure out where I am.

I am aware I am in my apartment, I do know this. I am thirsty, I need water. It seems there is a glass of water next to the bed, exactly where I would look for it.
Even upon waking, I am aware that I have a brain injury, that I have a disability. I don't know if its because I have spent over a year with this injured brain, or if it is just embedded in me. I just know I am not 100 percent. There is something off. Like a clouding in your sight.

I also know that I have something to do. Why else would I be up at 8:30a.m. My brain goes through all the possibilities of what I have to do. Mandy, Wedding, Parents, School, work, run with my clinic, am I meeting someone, do I have an appointment. I don't know. I wonder if I left myself a note. I look around to where I think a note would be. I find one, it's my palm pilot.

I do know that I use that to tell me what to do for the day. I turn it on, and look at the day. What day is it? I know what time it is, but what day is it. I turn on my TV to the channel guide, channel #2 where I live. It says it's Tuesday March 20Th. OK I look at that date on my palm pilot. It says I have to see Jackie at 10:00, she is my Disability worker at Douglas. It says, Biology at 12:30, then Math at 2:30, I have a 3kl run with my clinic at the running room at 6:30.

I put down the palm pilot and head to the bathroom, as I walk to the shower, I see my coffee maker. I think I would like some coffee, so I open it up to add some new coffee to it. There is new coffee in it, it looks like there is water to. I look at my mug, and see some sugar in it. No milk though, but that makes sense, it would go bad, if it was in there last night. When I obviously got this ready. I will remember to put milk in it, when it's ready.

As I look around the kitchen I see a juice maker (see prev entry's about my Juicer). I think it would be good to make a juice, I like juice. I think I have had this before. I wonder if I have fruit to put into it. I open the fridge. It seems there is a bowl in the fridge with a bunch of fruit, all ready to be put in to the juicer. Awesome.

I put in the juice, and start the juicer. I see a small bowl, with some vitamins and other pills in it. I figure there for me. There is no one else here. I pop my pills, my juice is done. I drink the juice. I figure that I should probably clean it now as I will forget to do it later. When I finish my cleaning the juice, my coffee is done. I have a sip, tastes weird. I forgot to add milk. I do that now. I sip my coffee, I see I have cleaned my juicer, so I must have used it.

What am I doing? I have something to do, why else would I would be up. I look at my palm. I have to see Jackie at Douglas at 10:00. What time is it now? I look at the clock, it's 8:49. I wonder how long it takes to get to Douglas. I do know I am busing, as I don't have a car.

I go to my computer to look up the bus schedule online. There is a note, that says "Douglas by 10:00 am" and says which bus # to catch at which time, it tells me "the bus stop up from your apartment" that makes sense. It must bus just outside my apartment. I wonder what time it comes. Again I look at the note. It is stated that the bus comes at 9:29. I wonder what time it is now. It's 8:51. I should shower.

I head into the shower, and look at the mirror. Looks like I shaved the night before. I see a toothbrush, it reminds me to brush my teeth. I get into the shower, I need to read the shampoo labels, is it shampoo first, and conditioner second? or conditioner first, and shampoo later. No; shampoo cleans, conditioner conditions.

I get out of the shower, I brush my teeth. It's weird I think I already did this. I feel like some coffee, and notice a coffee mug, I pick it up and it's warm. I have some coffee. What am I doing?

I look at my palm. Jackie 10:00am right, I got it. I wonder what time the bus comes, I notice a post it note at the computer, and see that I have already planned this. I should get dressed. I notice some close laid out by the closet. Pants, shirt, undies, socks,shoes. OK what am I doing? I look at my palm. Jackie 10:00 am. right.

I have class after that I notice, biology, and math. I think I need books for those. I can't find them. I see a backpack, I look into it, and see a math book, and a biology book. Plus a laptop, and some pencils and pens, paper etc. OK I am good.

Where am I going? I am going somewhere, I have my backpack on, and clothes on. I look at my palm pilot. Jackie 10:00 am. Right. OK. Did I eat? I must have, I see my juicer. I wonder what I will eat later. Should I make a lunch, it looks like I will be in school for a while, lunch seems like a good idea. I head to the kitchen. I open the fridge to see what I have. I see a Zip lock container, it has Yogurt, Granola, and it looks like some fruit in it. I think I have had this before. I think I like it. It looks like a good lunch. Plus there is a spoon, and hand wipes with it. I see some more vitamins. I look at them, these must be taken with food. OK I will take them with me and take them at lunch. What am I doing again? I look at my palm pilot. Right, Jackie at 10:00 am.

OK I have close on, I have a backpack with school stuff in it, I have lunch, I have a post it note with my bus schedule in it. I have my cell phone, I check to make sure I am wearing shoes. I unpack my backpack to make sure I have everything again. OK I do. I head outside. I stand outside my door. Do I have keys? crap, I head back in. OK keys are there, next to the keys is a bus pass. OK lets go. Where am I going? Right Jackie at 10:00. What time is it now? 9:19 I have a bus to catch. What time does it come? 9:29 right. OK lets go.

I stand outside my door. Holding my door before it closes completely. Do I have keys. I feel my pocket, OK I have keys, I close the door.

I head outside, I know I am going to catch a bus, but which bus? which way am I going? What time is it? I look at my post it note. I see it's the bus by my apartment. I know where that is. I head to it. I feel like some coffee. I will buy some at school. I stand at the bus stop.

I think of Mandy, I can't remember her phone number so I look in my contact list, and see Mandy, with three phone numbers. Home, Work, Cell. I call the cell. No answer. I don't leave a message, I think she is at home. I call her at home. Her grandma answers. "Mandy not home" I say thank you and hang up. I call her at work. "Mandy speaking" I say hello, and tell her about my day. I tell her I have school. She is aware of this. She asks me if I found out about my student loans. I don't think I have, what did I need to know.
"you need to find out when to apply, last semester you left it to long"
I don't remember this. I tell her
"I should ask the lady at school, the disability lady" I say.
she says "Jackie".
"yeah! that's her" I reply

I should make an appointment to see her. I should put that in my palm pilot before I forget. As I am entering in the data into my palm I see the name of my worker. I see her at 10:00 am. Good, I need to talk to her. I go to add a note to my palm about what questions I have for her. I see I have already done this. OK that's good.

Mandy is talking to me about a concert she went to with her sister. A school one, it must be her sisters school. Mandy isn't in school anymore. I tell her I love her, and I see my bus coming. Do I have money for the bus. I look into my pocket, I find a bus pass. I get on the bus.

I look at the palm again to tell me where I am going. Right school. Ok. It's a short bus ride, I recognize where I am, I have been here before. There is the school. I can see it from here. I hike up the hill, and up the stairs. I am at the school. I need coffee.

I go and get a coffee, I fill up the To Go cup, and head to the cashier to buy a coffee, when I go to grab my wallet that is in my backpack, I see I have a travel mug with coffee already in it, in the water holder part of the backpack. It's full of warm coffee. I am standing at the till, the lady at the till is looking at me expecting money. I feel stupid. I realize I forgot I had a coffee. I don't know why this bugs my, but I am embarrassed, so I pay for the coffee. What am I going to do with two cups of coffee. I fill it up with my cream and sugar, and head out.

I know I am going somewhere but I can't remember where. I put down my two coffee's and look at my palm. Jackie, 10:00am. OK it's 9:55.I start walking. Wait where am I going? Where is Jackie? I put my coffee's down again, and look at the note part of the Jackie task. It tells me her room #, I head there.

Someone says hello to me as I am walking up the steps to the next floor. I say hello, they ask me how I did on my Biology test. I had a Biology test? I say I don't know, I haven't checked it yet. This gets an odd look from this person. They ask how Mandy is. I say she is good. I have no Idea who this person is, but I am used to that. I say "I have to head to ...uhm...." I can't remember where. Something to do at the school. Class? It must be I am at school. I say I am heading to class. I get to the top of the stairs, and I have no Idea where I am going. I put my coffee's down. Why do I have two coffee's. I look at my palm. Jackie, 10:00 am. It's 9:59. I see where to go. I pick up the coffee's, and head to her office, and say hello to the receptionist.

The receptionist seems to know me. I say hello, make small talk. I sit down. She asks who I am there to see. I forgot. I look at my palm. I say "Jackie" a little louder than I wanted to. It came out a little funky, Like a kid who is proud to have remembered a word.

I see a someone walking toward me, they smile, I smile back. "Hi David". I say "hello" they invite me to there office. This must be Jackie. She asks me how I am. I make small talk. I know I am there for a reason, but I can't remember why. I look at palm pilot. I see I need to find out about my student loans. We talk for awhile, and decide I need to talk to Financial aid. I log all the information into the palm the time's, the name of the person I need to see, question's I need to ask them. I set a time for the reminder to go off.

I say goodbye to Jackie, I had looked up what I have to do before I left her office, and head to Biology. I set up my laptop, voice recorder, and take in as much I can.

Once class is done, I head to math (I looked at my palm before the end of class) I pack up my gear, and know what floor I am going to. I notice I am hungry, and I have to pee after all that coffee, I have no Idea why I had two cups of coffee. I drank them anyway. I head to the bathroom. I don't like putting things down because I am afraid I will forget them. So I pack everything into my backpack, and pockets. I leave the bathroom. I have not Idea where I am, or where I need to go. OK I am in school. I have classes. I should look at my palm. I pull it out my pocket, and see the time, it says I have math. I note the room that it's in, and look at the numbers in the hallway. I am on the wrong floor. I can tell because my class is in a 400 #, the rooms around me are all labeled 300. I see the stairs, and walk to them. Am I going up or down? I look at my palm, I am going to 400, I am on 300, I need to go up. OK. I find my math class.

Math is good, I am doing OK for a brain injured guy. Funny thing about math, before my injury I sucked at math. I don't know why the brain injury made math easier and open ended and creative things harder, but it did make things like math easier for me. The brain is weird, especially mine.

Math finishes, and I pack up my stuff. I look at my palm and see I have to do some shopping for dinner, and for my juicer tomorrow. I head to the grocery store after school. This I can see from Douglas College.

I get to the grocery store, I have no idea why I am there, let alone what to buy. I open up my palm hoping that there is something on it. I see "grocery list" and look at it. A list of ingredients, milk, eggs, etc. I buy everything on the list, and head home. I get out of the grocery store, and head to a bus stop near buy. I don't know if this is my bus or not. I call transit. I am asked where I am, I can read the street signs from where I am, and I tell them my address (I had to look at it on my drivers license)

I get home and check my mail. There is a bill that says late. I am used to this, I often forget to make the payment if I don't do it as soon as I get the bill. So I boot the computer and go online. I pay the bill. I have to right on the bill that I paid it, or else sometimes I see it again, and pay it twice. I am pissed off at late payment charges. I check my emails, and see some of my clinic runners have some questions. I do my best to give them good information, and eat a sandwich. It's off to the run.

Which bus do I catch. Ah I see I have a post it note, with "running room on Tuesday by 6:30" on it. Awesome. I head out. I pass a neighbor on my way out. He has an African Rasta hat on. He looks at me funny. I say hello, he grunts and almost walks into me. I think I know him, but I am not sure. I don't think I like him. I can't remember why. I head to my bus. I go to the wrong bus stop. I am heading back to Douglas. I don't have school. I have to go to work. I have a clinic. I get off the bus, I look at my palm. I see a note on the palm. "bus info for clinic runs on Tuesday @ 6:30" it notes the bus to catch. I cross the street and wait for it. I have a lot of time. I always leave early, just in case.

I jump on my bus, I show my bus pass, and I sit down. My phone goes off, I answer.
"Dave?",
"yeah that's me"
"can you work on Thursday?"
"who is this?"
"it's Daniel"
"um I don't know I have to look at my schedule",
"well let me know as soon as possible".

I say OK. I look at my palm pilot and see I have school, and then tutoring. I can't work. I call work back
"I can't work, I have school and tutoring".
"can you miss tutoring?",
"uh....no I really need it, I don't think I am doing well in school",
"well we could really use you, and we are short people",
"I am really sorry, but school has to come first" She sounded disappointed.

I get to work, I am a little early. I reckognize my that my co-worker jen is there she says "hello" we gossip about work. I mention that I got a call from our manager (couldn't remember her name) about working. This starts a 10 minute conversation about our manager. I am glad I said no to working.

My clinic people are filling the store. People saying hello to me, asking me how school is going, how Mandy is doing. They seem to know that I have bad neighbors. I must have told them. I try as hard as I can to remember people, but it just doesn't work. So I let them all know I have a memory problem. With the way they respond, it looks like I have already told them this.

Some people act a little funny. It's like they don't know what to say. I make jokes about it. I say the benifit of a memory problem is I get to watch my favorite TV shows all over again. There is no such thing as a repeat. This usually reduces the tension. People feel like they can talk about it. Some people avoid me, and others still think that I will remember things. I try to explain that there is no rime or reason to my injury. I remember some things one day, but not the next, or at odd times a memory pops up. Other times when I need it most, it is just not accesable. I have good memory days, and bad memory days.

Today is a 3kl run, I had emailed my group the night before to let them know where we are going, I like the route because it's easy for me to remember, its a straight 3kl there and back kind of thing. We have a talk at the beginning of the clinic. I try my best to answer any questions, using what little I do have in my memory.

Running is a pretty easy thing to remember. One foot in front of the other. Shoes are important, socks. Eat the right foods. Don't eat a big meal before running. Stretch. If we are running only 3kl, it must be either fartleks, hill training, or a recovery run. So I think of the route, it's flat. So it can't be hills, It's also Tuesday, yesterday we didn't run, so it must be a recovery run. I do know our Sundays are always our long runs. So that firms it down. I go into a description of why we run the different distances, and how important they are....

We head out for our run, I start off with my fast group, and talk to them for a bit, I slow down and talk the next person, and I do this all the way down to the last person. I know that when I was training for the marathon with a clinic, I liked it when the instructor said hello, asked how your week is going, and just sort of touched base. I had seen a "bad" instructor at the Richmond running who was more interested in training himself, than being a leader. He was so fast that at the end of the run, he was the first one back, and the first one to leave. So I make an effort to say hello to everyone. I mean you paid for the clinic, you should get more than a shirt!!

The run finishes, I hang out at work for a bit, and check my palm for my bus route home. I walk to the bus stop, and call Mandy on the way. She has finished tutoring. I always forget she is tutoring and so it's nice when I get to talk to her. I bus home, and I want to relax, but I have a class tomorrow, and I haven't studied yet. While walking from the bus stop I see the same dude with the Rasta hat on his head. He is coming into the apartment with 4 other people, they are a half block in front of me. They look drunk or stoned, or both. Very loud, The girl's (I should call them children because of there age) are screaming. This I remember. I hate these guys, looks like another night, of bad music pounding, and screaming girls on the deck. I need to study.

I get home, and take off my close, and shower. I start to make dinner, doesn't take to long, but while I am boiling my pasta, I get my juice ready for the next day, I get my coffee ready, and get my lunch ready. I plan my route to school and leave it in post it notes around the house. My pasta is ready.

I eat, and study in bed. Try my best to understand what I am reading. It's going on 10:00 p.m. I know when I start re-reading the same sentence over and over again, it's time to turn off my brain.

I lock the laundry room door at 10:11p.m. I have had people walk down to the laundry room (its right next to my room) and start laundry at 10-11 at night. So the door opens, and closes, the dryer thumps, I had one guy sitting in there one day in his underwear, smoking a cigarette. So I now lock the entry to the laundry room at 10:00 and will open it tomorrow morning.

I get back inside, and pack all my stuff for tomorrow. I look up what class I have, and pack the appropriate books in my bag, I lay out my close so I won't have to it tomorrow. I map out my bus route, and right on a note pad what time I need to leave my apartment, and what bus I need to catch. I check my emails, and my fridge, making sure I don't need anything.

I call Mandy to say goodnight. We talk for a while. I am sure I whine about something. We talk about wedding stuff. I miss her. I just want to be in the same place as her, so we can actually talk in person, do some hard core snuggling. She mentions some important dates about her trip to china. I have my palm ready, and make sure I impute it. We say good night, and I watch my favorite show. "The Daily Show" and it is followed by "The Colbert Report" Midnight rolls around, and I turn off my TV I feel like I am ready for tomorrow.

The noise upstairs drives me bonkers. Constant people coming in and out of the building. I hear a big smash, outside the building. Sounds like someone throwing a bottle at the building. I am concerned that they damaged a window, mine are ok. I jump out of bed.

I sleep with a video camera near my bed to be able to capture some of the shit that goes on. (see prev posts) I see a car screeching away. It's red, but I can't remember what to call the car. I think about calling the police, but I have done this before, they ask me questions I can't answer. "what kind of car",
"I don't remember",
"what colour was it "
"It wasn't black, it wasn't wight and it wasn't green, I can see the colour in my head but I can't remember what you call it",
"was it going north or south"
" I have no Idea, it was going that way" I point my hand
"what is your address sir?"
" I don't know. I can look at my drivers license and see"
"you don't know your address sir?"

This is why I don't call the police. I would be a bad witness, that's what the camera is for. I try to go back to sleep, but the noise upstairs is driving me nuts. It is not a consistent loud noise, its more sporadic, a huge bang.....then nothing...a scream....then nothing.....a few thumps in a row......nothing...." The last time I look at the clock its about 4:00 am.

I wake up in the morning, I have no Idea where I am. I hit the snooze button, it starts all over again.



Mandy makes a good replacement Temporal Lobe. If your in the market for one. I highly recomend a Mandy.

A Fast and Dirty Blog Entry

It's been a busy few weeks. I am really having fun with my 10kl clinic. A great group of runners. I never thought I would enjoy it is much as I did. I never thought I would enjoy seeing people push themselves, and achieving things they didn't think they could do. I don't know if it's because I know how hard it is to run as far as we do, but it's also forcing yourself to run on days when you would rather do anything but run, or early on Sunday's in the rain....Truly a cool thing. I only wish I could have given more time to the group. I tried to use as much as I could, but with school, and work, and not sleeping because of the idiots above me.

Mandy is off in China right now, she is there with her Mom, and Sister, and a group of class mates from Junko's school (Mandy's sister) My parents are in town and have been able to join me for a couple of Sunday runs. School is still kicking my ass, but I have resolved that even if I don't pass it's OK. I am attending first year college after many years of being out of school, plus adding a brain injury to the equation. Not to mention the stress of living in this crack house.

Speaking of crack house. Here is the latest on the tenants above me. At the beginning of the month they were given there eviction notice. They had 5 days to dispute it, which they did not. But they still have not left, the landlord says they have to file with a sheriff to physically remove them from the building, and that takes about 15-20 days. At a few hundred dollars to. So it is very frustrating for the other 5 tenants in the building, because it comes out like these guys can do what they want, with no punishment. I do believe (and I know from my old days) that living like this does catch up with you. Most of the time. It's funny because once the frustration turns to anger, the anger eventually turns to feeling sorry for them. You wonder when the demands come for them, they must be pretty intense. What I really liked was the landlords Dad was talking to them tonight, and they played a race card on him. Saying the only reason they are being evicted is because they are black. Now you have to realize that my Landlord and her Dad are East Indian. The Dad's English is very limited. So it was funny to see a black guy calling the brown guy a racist, while me, the white guy, is right there. I mentioned that the fact that we was black had nothing to do with the reason they are being evicted, it was the lack of rent, the threats, the almost weekly calls to the police, the drugs, the illegal tenants, the spray paint, and the breaking into the electrical room to mess with there hydro, the stealing TV cable lines, the destruction of property. Was more likely the issue, not the race. It hasn't been as loud, but still I don't feel save in my place. It's not even that I don't feel save, it's that I don't feel relaxed. I feel stressed. Every day as I come home from school, or work, or a run, I am nervous. I don't feel secure. So add to the natural crap that live can throw at ya, and I tell ya, it's a wonder I haven't malled a midget in anger, or freaked out and climbed a clock tower with a rifle.

As far as moving out goes, if they have not left by the time I am done this semester I will be moving out. I want to move out now, but with school, work, and instructing the clinic, while trying to do wedding stuff, and train for the triathlon. Moving at this point is not going to happen.

Getting used to my new equipment has been fun. The computer, the voice recorder, the programs. I truly love technology. Technology and Sports.....I wonder if there is a job that fuses the two. Maybe car racing....anyway I am distracting myself.

Filled out my next semesters worth of student loans. I have to call them tomorrow to make sure I filled it out right. Anyway I am tired.

Technological help for the Traumatic Brain Injury survivor

All I can say is WOW. I am a little over whelmed at all the equipment I received from Assistive Technology's Grant I applied for last semester. Here is a picture of some of the stuff, the hard ware









It is the software though, that is crazy, I have a program called Inspiration, I don't know how to explain it. I am trying to upload an image I can make but it's a little harder than I thought. I haven't spent to much time on it. All I can say is it's like my board. I can put in a main theme, and then link things to it.
Here is the website for Inspiration http://www.inspiration.com/ I just don't have the words to explain it. It also comes with a spell check program, that works independently in the computer. What that means is even as I type this there is the Blogger spell check, but I can click on this even right now, and it spell checks any program I am currently running. It also makes sure I have use the right word. For example sometimes I type the word phonetically. So I want so say psychology, and I type sikologie, or aphasia, and i type afashia. Sometimes the word to can be to, two, too. I get confused where if goes. So it can check that I have used the right "to,too,two". It also speaks to me. So I can hear what I just typed now, and see if it makes sense when I hear it. I can also play a document I have downloaded from school and hear it, on top of seeing it. As I type my word documents or essay's I can play them back to myself. It's very cool.

I received a digital voice recorder as well. So I can sit in class and record the lectures, and download it. I can then search the voice documents for words the teacher may have said, or try to find the different places that word may have been said.

I got a printer, and a really cool Language Master, that kind of looks like a calculator but I can type in words and will repeat them out loud, kind of like a Steven Hawkins voice.

The Laptop is a Dell Latitude, Core Duo, it is made to be able run several programs at once. I purchased a digital router ($44.59) and hooked it up at home. So I can sit in my bed with the laptop but still be able to have my old computer to access the Internet, and run other programs.

The point being I can go to class, set up my computer and record the whole class, both by sound, and video. So when I get home I can go back over the class. It's so cool. I even got a backpack that fits all my school books, and the computer.

On a side note, I have made my message at home from my Language Master. So it sounds like a computer voice.....I am a little weird. I wonder if I can download audio files to the blog? mmm Anyway it's really cool.

My grades have gone up from 3/20, to 15/20 in Biology. I have a midterm next week. I haven't even started my psychology paper yet. I am kicking ass in Math.

The neighbors above me are still intense, they have been a little quieter, and have till the end of the month to get out. My landlord called me to ask how I felt if they stayed longer. Apparently they are finding it difficult to find a place, in the same price range, by the end of the month. While I totally get that it's hard. They are not the ones who have to live next to them. They are constantly having large groups of teens over, party's till 4 or 5 in the morning. When you try to talk to them, they threaten you, and insult you. They have had the police hear night after night. They have had so many chances, we are beyond a second chance, which I am totally all about, even a third if there is good intent. This would be a 13th or 14th chance. Plus they don't seem to have any remorse. The only time they show any remorse is when it is hard for them to find a new place, or it's in there best interest. So I told the landlord if they stay even for an extra 15 days, it sends the signal that it's OK. There is no consequence. To add to that, I really don't give a shit. If I hadn't been threatened, If I didn't have to put up with them night after night, maybe I would have some feelings toward it.

The wedding planning is going on. Mandy has found a dress, and is very excited. What is hard is to not be to involved in sertain aspects of the wedding. I want to be involved, and be suportive, but there is some stuff I just can't do.

Over all this week has been better, new toy's, my clinic is doing great, It was an intense few last weeks. There were times when I wanted the world to slow down so I could catch up. I just kept on showing up. Things are looking a little more positive!! Yeah

Sun Run Training Clinic

This is a photo of the 10kl clinic group on our 8kl Sunday run. The half marathon group ran with us today, as they were short a clinic instructor. They had a 9kl run today, and the 10kl clinic had a 8 kl run. We wound up running about 8.4kl to try and meat in the middle. The weather was perfect for a nice 10 and 1 run. It was cold to start, but dry. The rain came out perfect just as we all got back to the Running Room.

It was quit a site to see all the people from the 2 groups running down the street. I got a little slack on the run route today, as there were some hills added in. In my defense I didn't plan the route! I was using a pre-planned route from one of the other runners at the Running Room.

For a few of the runs I have been biking in before hand. It's an ideal 5kl ride from my house to the Running Room. So I get a nice 10k bike ride and then, depending on the days run, up to about a 10kl run.

I am still finding fitting school/training/work hard to fit in. One thing I forgot about running is how it grounds me. I am putting all I have into everything going on each day, so I can only do what I can do. My mood is a little better about school. If I try my hardest, and can't "get" the class. This may be a sign that it's not for me.

I slept like crap last night. I don't know why, it was quite, I was rested, my neighbors have been fairly quite. There have been no police for a couple of nights. They have been evicted and half to be out by the end of the month.

Mandy was not violent during her sleep attacks on me ;) I think I am still in shock at how much more is going on this semester. I have rescheduled my week, so it was the first week at the new schedule, of less hours at work, one forced rest day, and then two days of tutoring. I am looking forward to next week, I have two days off school, so I will be catching up on my reading, and studying. I just want to find my feet again, and feel like I am in a position to take information in.

I am waiting for a laptop to come from Assisted Technology's. It's a grant I receive that provides me with some tools to put myself at an even keel for school. I am hoping this week goes a little better than last, but I am not expecting much. It's been a constant few weeks of crap. I must say again if it wasn't for my time with Mandy, and my running/biking. I think my head would have swelled inside my skull again. I have been looking in my mail everyday for the last week as I am excited about the Chicago Marathon Book to come. They did a little interview of me and what I have been through and I am apparently in it. So in a way I feel weird yet I am excited at the same time. That is another blog entry at another time about how we focus on what tragedy's people overcome, instead of the people who work just as hard every day and never get noticed. But then I think I would complain about winning the lottery. Why not 1.2 million instead of 1 million.......

Overwhelmed, and Tired

Well it's been a little while since I updated my blog. Here is what is new; I am failing two of my three classes at Douglas. I am arguing with the government about my disability income. I have put up with the tenants upstairs, partying night after night. I have been threatened. There has been another tenant beat up. We have had the police here 4 nights in a row. We had some little punk pull the fire alarm in the building and then jump in his car and take off at 1:45 am in the morning.


We have had night after night of noise from the punks above me. There is a constant group of 14 to 18 people in a one-bedroom apartment, all about 16-18 years old. Now I am no moral authority, I really don't give a crap what you do. But when you wake me up, when I have to go up there night after night, when I get threatened, and yelled at by some 16 year old chick, who wants to see "her man" fight me. I call and wake up my landlord. I call the cops.

After calling the cops, I then got a nice "your a f*&%'ing rat" comments from these really tough, little small town white girls that think there gangster. You are from Canada people. You are White. You are not a "gangster", you would survive about 3 seconds in a major city, or gang infested area. Plus you are not my blood, your not my friends, if calling the cops when I get threatened makes me a rat, then your damn right I am a rat.

I started training a 10kl clinic at the running room, as I have had to take more time off work to focus on school. I am really enjoying running again, and I love running with a group of people. Being a clinic leader is definitely a learning curve, and it's allot more than just mapping the runs, and going out with a group of people. It is also going to help with the reduced income I have, as account of my having to drop shifts at work.

As far as school is going, it's had its ups and downs. I got really sick a little over a weak ago. I was either throwing up, or had massive diarrhea depending on the time of day. It completely overwhelmed me. I couldn't run, couldn't go to school. It was intense. I tried to use the time I was sitting in my bed at home to at least read, but my brain was so foggy I couldn't take in the information.

So I feel like I am a week behind in classes, and trying to catch up. The classes are moving at such a high rate of speed. I am taking a Biology class that is very intense, and I forgot to add my lab times into my schedule. It's another 8-12 hours per week. I just literally don't have enough time to do everything that needs to be done.

I had the worst day ever on the week I was sick. I tried to get to school, and made it to my Biology class. Just as class was starting I felt myself getting ready to puke. So I run to the bathroom, and vomit all over. Come back to class as it's starting and the teacher takes one look at me and sends me home. I had received a message from the government about my disability check a day or so before, and they required some additional information about my income and were withholding my cheque until they received it. I head to the office on the way home, dressed like crap, and feeling horrible, but thinking I have some free time might as well get this done.

I wait in line, and talk to a worker, who says I have not giving them the correct information. I let her know that I had given them all school, and income documents a month ago, just to avoid a situation like this. She advises me they don't have the information. She has me wait to talk to someone else. I wait in line (20 minutes) and wait to see some dude. I fill him in on the situation, and he says they have no documents of my income for the previous months, or my student loans. I tell them to write exactly what information they require and I will go get it.

I let the gentleman know I have a memory problem, so that is why I need it written it down. He laughs, and makes a comment that "I wish I could get money from the government for my poor memory to" This is the same guy who has said "I wish I could my poor memory declared a disability to" a few months ago. This pisses me off, but I take the letter and head back to school.

I wait in line at the Financial Aid department, and speak to a lady there. I tell her I need this information; she says they already gave it to me last month. I tell her I know, but the government doesn't have it so I need another copy. I head back down to social service. (the financial aid people at Douglas rock)

I wait in line (20 minutes) and talk to a different lady and explain why I am there. She takes my information and tells me to sit down. An hour goes buy. I get up and ask her how much longer it will be. She says that I have already been seen? I advise her I have not. She finds this humorous.

Now remember I am very sick. I should be at home. She looks at the information and tells me it is not the required information. I let her know (showing her the letter her co-worker rote) that this is exactly what I was told to get. She says it's not. I am getting frustrated. I clarify with her, exactly what I need. I head back to Douglas.

I wait in line at the Financial Aid office at Douglas; I speak to the same person, in Financial Aid, and let her know the Government employee, says I have the wrong information. She literally highlights the information she has giving me and rights "this is what you need" on it. So the worker will be able to interpret the information. She also rights a step-by-step way to read the information for the social service worker. I head back down to the Government. I throw up on the way.

I wait in line again (49 minutes) this time there is a gentlemen who is very upset, and defiantly from the rough area of town. He is freaking out, and the security guards stand close to him while he screams and yells, and threatens to kill the world. Eventually he calms down. I am seen and told to wait. I sit down and don't wait to long until my name is called. I hand in my documents, and this time they say they have this information already. That they don't require this, and to come back tomorrow. I think my eye started twitching at this point.

I advice them I can't come back tomorrow as I work. I am coming today because my rent check is going to be deposited by my landlord, and if I wait to come back, I will not have enough funds in my account for rent. I will also have NSF fees from my landlord, and my bank. I am told to wait again.

My name is called rather quickly, and I am told there is a check for me. The female who tells me this holds the check in front of me, and goes on to make a comment that "if you had giving us this information before, this wouldn't have happened". She then informs me in an accusatory tone "that I am going to be reviewed for my income".

I lose it at this point. I advise her that I gave the exact same information over a month ago. I have filled out all documents correctly, and if the comment "I am going to be reviewed" is meant to frighten me, it doesn't, as I have done nothing wrong. "If on the off chance, I do owe a fund, that’s fine, I will pay them back". I then went on a rant that I have never been so insulted, talked down, and treated like a second rate citizen. Her final words to me were "right a letter to the government".

Not only did I right a letter to the government, I contacted her boss, and am making a formal complaint. I have never talked to, or treated someone, with such disrespect or incompetence, I would be fired from my job. Why is it that Government employees feel like they can treat people like crap because they job is hard. My job is hard to. If I can't handle the job, I am either fired or I quit. Only employee's of the Government feel like there is some obligation to make life and their job easy for them. Like work is supposed to be some cakewalk of joy, and happiness. It's called work for a reason people!! Do your job. If you can't, quit. It's so fucked that the way they treat the system is that; if they are unable to do there job, if they suck at it, or if it's just not a good job for them; That the rest of the world is supposed to change what there expectations of there job(the social service workers is) responsibility's are. I mean can you imaging being busy at work, being stressed, and telling your boss, and customers, that it isn't fair. This is to hard, they need to change the requirements of the job to fit me better!! Only a freaking Union/Government person thinks that there employer has some obligation to make life easy for them. Yet these undereducated people have the right to act as some moral authority on what I am doing! They get to decide if I am working to hard or not hard enough. Where is the "treat people like you want to be treated" line of thinking here. I would love for them to have to put up with there own bizarre requirements in order to get a paycheck. To bad I can't take stress leave on a disability income!!

One good thing about this is my love for running seems to come out when I am getting frustrated at the world. Whenever I am pissed off, or feel like I have no control, I run. I seem to run better on the days I am upset or angry. I find myself biking from home to the running room, going for my clinic runs, then biking home. It's burning off some of the frustration. My marks are so low in school, I have no where to go but up. That's about it for now.

I am adding a Video of my apartment. I don't know why, I just wanted to.