So it has been two weeks today that I finished the Penticton Ironman. A week after getting home I was hit by a cold or a flu and today I started to feel better. So I am starting my Training Plan for the Goofy Challenge. It is a marathon on the Saturday and a half-marathon on the Sunday. Goofy Race and Half Challenge 2010
I will be working more this time around as the training schedule will be less intense than the Ironman training. I still want to push myself as I am going to be seeing how I do on running such great distances back to back. I am planning on running a Marathon a day from one side of Canada to the other in the next year or so.
I am unsure if I should make a new blog for the Goofy Challenge, or just add it to this blog. I think I will do it on this blog.
I will post my workout schedule and if anyone wants to go for a run, just email me. I am going to train for an under 3:00 marathon time and a 2 hour Half time. Thinking that on the Sunday I will be a little sore. If anyone has any training advice let me know.
This is what I drank in training, and the Ironman. Now it's the Goofy Challenge
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Sunday, September 06, 2009
I am now an Ironman
On August 29, 2009 in 14:03:04 I became an Ironman. You can see the journey here
http://davidsjourneytoironman.blogspot.com/
It was a great day, and a long way in the making. I would not have been able to do this without a tremendous amount of help. While this blog is not about the Ironman (please see David's Journey to Ironman) it is about my brain injury and the challenges that I face.
The journey had its own unique challenges. Planning the three parts of a triathlon is a challenge to anyone without a brain injury. During my training I moved, faced challenges at school, employment, and got married. Lots of events that are huge life changes happened during training during this time I was lucky enough to have a great trainer from Training Bible Coaching. Carla Hastert was amazing. I owe her so much. She not only took on the challenge of training someone with a brain injury. She did this at no cost. She is the hero. I just did what she told me to do.
I was able to download and upload her workouts to my Garmin’s and then go about my workouts. The runs and bikes worked out pretty good. The only challenge was the swim.
How does someone who doesn’t remember what lap they are on, get in any kind of a quality workout. When we are talking about the 3.8kl distance needed for the Ironman. How does the athlete remember the laps? The drills.
With the Garmin I can put specific workouts in, I can do heart rate, speed drills, cadence drills, time drills, etc. When I am in the water however it is just me.
After many different ideas we found some water proof paper. I right down my specific drills. I.e. free style, kick's with the board, and other drills. I could mark down when I finished a lap, and keep track, so I would not over or under train.
This was a miracle for me. It made the swim for me.
Training for the Ironman is a challenge for anyone. Training with a brain injury brings it own unique challenges. I want others with TBI to know that anything is possible. We can do anything with the right technology, although it is still up to us to put in the work.
The next challenge is the Goofy Challenge. That is a Half Marathon on a Saturday and a Full marathon on the Sunday. I will keep you updated.
http://davidsjourneytoironman.blogspot.com/
It was a great day, and a long way in the making. I would not have been able to do this without a tremendous amount of help. While this blog is not about the Ironman (please see David's Journey to Ironman) it is about my brain injury and the challenges that I face.
The journey had its own unique challenges. Planning the three parts of a triathlon is a challenge to anyone without a brain injury. During my training I moved, faced challenges at school, employment, and got married. Lots of events that are huge life changes happened during training during this time I was lucky enough to have a great trainer from Training Bible Coaching. Carla Hastert was amazing. I owe her so much. She not only took on the challenge of training someone with a brain injury. She did this at no cost. She is the hero. I just did what she told me to do.
I was able to download and upload her workouts to my Garmin’s and then go about my workouts. The runs and bikes worked out pretty good. The only challenge was the swim.
How does someone who doesn’t remember what lap they are on, get in any kind of a quality workout. When we are talking about the 3.8kl distance needed for the Ironman. How does the athlete remember the laps? The drills.
With the Garmin I can put specific workouts in, I can do heart rate, speed drills, cadence drills, time drills, etc. When I am in the water however it is just me.
After many different ideas we found some water proof paper. I right down my specific drills. I.e. free style, kick's with the board, and other drills. I could mark down when I finished a lap, and keep track, so I would not over or under train.
This was a miracle for me. It made the swim for me.
Training for the Ironman is a challenge for anyone. Training with a brain injury brings it own unique challenges. I want others with TBI to know that anything is possible. We can do anything with the right technology, although it is still up to us to put in the work.
The next challenge is the Goofy Challenge. That is a Half Marathon on a Saturday and a Full marathon on the Sunday. I will keep you updated.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Ban cars and make room for bikes
There was some news the other day in Vancouver where I live. They are attempting to close down some roads on a bridge to cars and make room for bikes only. Well bikes and transit. This lead me to this thought process.
What if we banned cars from downtown, or major parts of cities, for several days of the week. Leaving them open to only bikes, buses, and non engine forms of transit. So let's say Sunday's, Monday's are "car" days. All other days, are all other forms of transit (no this doesn't mean motor bikes or scooter's)
In this one simple move we would save on air pollution, we would eliminate traffic issues, and we would save craps load of money on insurance, gas, parking, etc.
On top of that however we could make bikes, shoes, roller blades, etc all more easily accessible to the public. Like a daily rental, or an inexpensive bike such as they have in parts of Europe.
Not only would you save the environment, but you would have another large effect on the population that now has to walk, bike, skate, or run, about town. You would save millions on health care, obesity, lung and heart disease, depression, and a whole world of other medical issues.
If you take Vancouver for instance, you really don't need a car. I bike, skytrain, bus and run everywhere. I live in New Westminster and it takes me 20 minutes to get to Kitsalano where I work. It is the same amount of time as the car. Plus I bike and run some of the distance, depending on my training for the day. So I also save on insurance, gas, parking, car repairs. I loose weight, I feel good, I don't have that huge belly that people that sit all day have.
I can see some of the arguments already. Oh my mother is old she can't walk. Bullshit. I think there is a very small amount of the population that has true medical issues that prevent them from walking or cycling. I think we are a population of lazy ass whiners, who don't want to work for anything, but want to have results like we do.
Another argument would be "well my store needs supplies" then plan them on the days that roads are open. I think we would see a whole new industry open up, from bikes, to attachments to bikes, to all the things that go along with them. Repairs, water bottles, shoes, etc. Let all the people that build cars, make bike and running gear. Why not.
I don't know, random thought of a brain injured guy that doesn't know much.
What if we banned cars from downtown, or major parts of cities, for several days of the week. Leaving them open to only bikes, buses, and non engine forms of transit. So let's say Sunday's, Monday's are "car" days. All other days, are all other forms of transit (no this doesn't mean motor bikes or scooter's)
In this one simple move we would save on air pollution, we would eliminate traffic issues, and we would save craps load of money on insurance, gas, parking, etc.
On top of that however we could make bikes, shoes, roller blades, etc all more easily accessible to the public. Like a daily rental, or an inexpensive bike such as they have in parts of Europe.
Not only would you save the environment, but you would have another large effect on the population that now has to walk, bike, skate, or run, about town. You would save millions on health care, obesity, lung and heart disease, depression, and a whole world of other medical issues.
If you take Vancouver for instance, you really don't need a car. I bike, skytrain, bus and run everywhere. I live in New Westminster and it takes me 20 minutes to get to Kitsalano where I work. It is the same amount of time as the car. Plus I bike and run some of the distance, depending on my training for the day. So I also save on insurance, gas, parking, car repairs. I loose weight, I feel good, I don't have that huge belly that people that sit all day have.
I can see some of the arguments already. Oh my mother is old she can't walk. Bullshit. I think there is a very small amount of the population that has true medical issues that prevent them from walking or cycling. I think we are a population of lazy ass whiners, who don't want to work for anything, but want to have results like we do.
Another argument would be "well my store needs supplies" then plan them on the days that roads are open. I think we would see a whole new industry open up, from bikes, to attachments to bikes, to all the things that go along with them. Repairs, water bottles, shoes, etc. Let all the people that build cars, make bike and running gear. Why not.
I don't know, random thought of a brain injured guy that doesn't know much.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Living with TBI really sucks sometimes
On days like today, or weeks like the last couple weeks, Living with TBI really sucks. I don’t like the fact that I get over stimulated so easy. I can’t cope with multiple things going on at once on a good day. Let alone when there multiple “big” things all happening at once.
The fact that I am training 4-12 hours per day, working, and moving is stressful for most people. Let alone those with a reduced cognitive ability, The moving alone is stressful, when you add the fact that Mandy is in Quebec for the month and that I am doing this by myself. Well it gets to be too much.
I try and cope. I like running, biking and swimming, but even that takes so much effort to prep. A six hour bike ride consists of planning the route, entering in to my GPS so I don’t get lost, making sure I have the right amount of liquids, the right amount of nutrients on the go. I plan the day around the ride and then I have a 30-1hour run after words. I have to have running shoes, running belt, keys, and suntan lotion, everything all set out in advance.
I can handle this on most days, but when I over stimulated my brain is like an old record that keeps skipping. Inside my head I am constantly spinning on the same spot. An example would be. Where I am going? I am going for run after my bike. I need shoes for my run. I go to the closet and I forget why I am there. So I ask myself “where am I going? I am going for a run” I need to get shoes. I go and get shoes only to forget why I am at the closet. This spinning has becoming increased, and on top of the spinning I flood.
Flooding is where I am over stimulated. I am running to many programs at once in my head. I am thinking about money, I am thinking that my landlord has not returned my damage deposit. I am thinking about my wife, I am thinking about my bike and my run. I am thinking I don’t have any money. I get so anxious over not having enough food. That has been the latest freak out. In my head I keep thinking I don’t have enough of the foods I need to train at this level. I keep going to the fridge and making sure it is there. Then I forget and go back and check. Then I realize I am looking for my shoes.
Then a phone call will come that the previous owner did not pay the electrical bill, that New Westminster electrical is coming after the new owners for it. I paid my electrical bill, why do I have to pay his? This was covered by the notary. Where are my shoes?
I made the mistake today to try and set up my wireless connection in the house. That was just an hour of absolute frustration. So I am still not wireless.
I can look at my situation from outside perspective. I consider myself very lucky. I have a home, I have family, and I have food. Hell I am training for an Ironman, I have a job. I have friends. I just get so frustrated at the lack of answers. No one seems to be able to direct me in the right way.
How do I get my damage deposit back? Why is my landlord trying to make me feel guilty for asking for my money back? I mean if I was 24 days late on rent they would let me know right? Shaw owes me money for a bill that was prepaid. They want to offer me a credit, but I don’t want a credit I want the money back. This has been several conversation and phone calls adding up to over four hours in total now. No one seems to be able simply reverse a payment that should not have gone through.
When I was taking my second year Psychology course, I learned a neat terminology called “Daily Hassles” This is a psychological idea that what makes people clime clock towers and kill hundreds of people, or get out of their car and beat someone up in road rage is not some big mental disorder. It is an accumulation of a bunch of little things.
You wake up late for work, and you stub your toe. Then when you take a poop there is no toilet paper. You go to make coffee and realize the milk has gone bad. You argue with your spouse over something stupid. You get a phone call from your boss about something stupid, and you head to your car to see someone has spray painted on it. You get in your car and get stuck in traffic. This on top of the fact that your house might be foreclosed upon, you are worried about your job and you kid didn’t come home last night. Now someone cuts you off and you get out and beat the shit out of them. Daily Hassles. My Daily Hassles are getting really frustrating. I am trying to take it all in stride.
I start to have panic attacks and feelings of being overwhelmed. Then I get pissed off that I having this reaction. It really sucks and I feel like I can’t really talk to anyone about them. I have a bath, I play some video games, or I make something for dinner. I just keep trucking. Hoping if I give it enough time it will pass. Something has to change.
I have just found that the problem keeps compounding. Something else just gets added to the daily stress. Like a friend who doesn’t return a phone call, an acquaintance who doesn’t take responsibility for their actions. A fellow tenant who plays the music or parties until 4 A.M. Running out of money for my swim membership, it all just keeps building. No one thing is a big deal, but put it all together and I start to get into panic mode.
I get tired of everything feeling so "life or death" in importance to my brain. I can't control the way I react. My brain response to stimuli is all out of balance. I react the same way to my missing shoes, as I would a life or death situation. My heart rate goes up, I get a total flight or fight response, my breathing get's laboured and my body starts to react like it will have to flee or fight at any second.
If I have any interaction with someone during this time I don't act normal. They don't understand why I am so agitated and I don't always want to explain it. It just really sucks sometimes. This month has been an absolute overwhelming amount of stimulation. Some good, some bad, but all just to much.
The fact that I am training 4-12 hours per day, working, and moving is stressful for most people. Let alone those with a reduced cognitive ability, The moving alone is stressful, when you add the fact that Mandy is in Quebec for the month and that I am doing this by myself. Well it gets to be too much.
I try and cope. I like running, biking and swimming, but even that takes so much effort to prep. A six hour bike ride consists of planning the route, entering in to my GPS so I don’t get lost, making sure I have the right amount of liquids, the right amount of nutrients on the go. I plan the day around the ride and then I have a 30-1hour run after words. I have to have running shoes, running belt, keys, and suntan lotion, everything all set out in advance.
I can handle this on most days, but when I over stimulated my brain is like an old record that keeps skipping. Inside my head I am constantly spinning on the same spot. An example would be. Where I am going? I am going for run after my bike. I need shoes for my run. I go to the closet and I forget why I am there. So I ask myself “where am I going? I am going for a run” I need to get shoes. I go and get shoes only to forget why I am at the closet. This spinning has becoming increased, and on top of the spinning I flood.
Flooding is where I am over stimulated. I am running to many programs at once in my head. I am thinking about money, I am thinking that my landlord has not returned my damage deposit. I am thinking about my wife, I am thinking about my bike and my run. I am thinking I don’t have any money. I get so anxious over not having enough food. That has been the latest freak out. In my head I keep thinking I don’t have enough of the foods I need to train at this level. I keep going to the fridge and making sure it is there. Then I forget and go back and check. Then I realize I am looking for my shoes.
Then a phone call will come that the previous owner did not pay the electrical bill, that New Westminster electrical is coming after the new owners for it. I paid my electrical bill, why do I have to pay his? This was covered by the notary. Where are my shoes?
I made the mistake today to try and set up my wireless connection in the house. That was just an hour of absolute frustration. So I am still not wireless.
I can look at my situation from outside perspective. I consider myself very lucky. I have a home, I have family, and I have food. Hell I am training for an Ironman, I have a job. I have friends. I just get so frustrated at the lack of answers. No one seems to be able to direct me in the right way.
How do I get my damage deposit back? Why is my landlord trying to make me feel guilty for asking for my money back? I mean if I was 24 days late on rent they would let me know right? Shaw owes me money for a bill that was prepaid. They want to offer me a credit, but I don’t want a credit I want the money back. This has been several conversation and phone calls adding up to over four hours in total now. No one seems to be able simply reverse a payment that should not have gone through.
When I was taking my second year Psychology course, I learned a neat terminology called “Daily Hassles” This is a psychological idea that what makes people clime clock towers and kill hundreds of people, or get out of their car and beat someone up in road rage is not some big mental disorder. It is an accumulation of a bunch of little things.
You wake up late for work, and you stub your toe. Then when you take a poop there is no toilet paper. You go to make coffee and realize the milk has gone bad. You argue with your spouse over something stupid. You get a phone call from your boss about something stupid, and you head to your car to see someone has spray painted on it. You get in your car and get stuck in traffic. This on top of the fact that your house might be foreclosed upon, you are worried about your job and you kid didn’t come home last night. Now someone cuts you off and you get out and beat the shit out of them. Daily Hassles. My Daily Hassles are getting really frustrating. I am trying to take it all in stride.
I start to have panic attacks and feelings of being overwhelmed. Then I get pissed off that I having this reaction. It really sucks and I feel like I can’t really talk to anyone about them. I have a bath, I play some video games, or I make something for dinner. I just keep trucking. Hoping if I give it enough time it will pass. Something has to change.
I have just found that the problem keeps compounding. Something else just gets added to the daily stress. Like a friend who doesn’t return a phone call, an acquaintance who doesn’t take responsibility for their actions. A fellow tenant who plays the music or parties until 4 A.M. Running out of money for my swim membership, it all just keeps building. No one thing is a big deal, but put it all together and I start to get into panic mode.
I get tired of everything feeling so "life or death" in importance to my brain. I can't control the way I react. My brain response to stimuli is all out of balance. I react the same way to my missing shoes, as I would a life or death situation. My heart rate goes up, I get a total flight or fight response, my breathing get's laboured and my body starts to react like it will have to flee or fight at any second.
If I have any interaction with someone during this time I don't act normal. They don't understand why I am so agitated and I don't always want to explain it. It just really sucks sometimes. This month has been an absolute overwhelming amount of stimulation. Some good, some bad, but all just to much.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Have not got my damage deposit back from my Landlord
So it has been 20 Days since I moved out. I have called and I have been excuse after excuse. Things like, "oh my sister does the bookkeeping and she will do it next week". To "we have mailed it, and it should only take 2 days" after I phoned and said I could pick it up.
This is pissing me off, because we left the place emaculate, and we got allong with the landlord really well. At this point I don't know what to do. I can phone again, but they will say the same thing. It will be some excuse.
I think if by Wedensday (22 days later) I will just go and file it with the Landlord Tenancy bord.
I really need my money!!
This is pissing me off, because we left the place emaculate, and we got allong with the landlord really well. At this point I don't know what to do. I can phone again, but they will say the same thing. It will be some excuse.
I think if by Wedensday (22 days later) I will just go and file it with the Landlord Tenancy bord.
I really need my money!!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Cut off by a car while biking
So today I am on epic ride. I have three hours on the bike of hills and drills before a 1:30 run. I am heading down the road in the bike lane. There is a mini van in front of me that decides to do quickly throw it in reverse to park. Right in front of me. I slam on my brakes and my heart starts to pound. I yell at the lady driving and I am lucky I don't fall of my bike.
I get off my bike and yell at the driver. She gives the finger. I tell her she needs to be more carefull and she yells back that I need to be more carefull. She is acting like I did something wrong. She obvouslily doesnt think that nearly killing me is important. I realize that this soccer mom just doesn't get it. I mean this is right in front her Startbucks where she needs to get a venti low fat frappuccinoe before she picks up the kids from some lesson for something.
She gives me the finger and I get back on my bike. Right on the outside of the bike only lane is a female police officer in her car. She saw the whole thing. She makes sure I am not hurt. I let her know there was no impact. That my heart is just racing. I then tell her that the driver gave me the finger and told me to fuck off. She get's out of the car.
It was one of those moments where you wish you had a video camera. How many times have you been cut off, or almost hit and had nothing but attitude from the driver who almost killed you. So this time there was a cop when I needed one. I continued my ride, but I got to see the police officer get out of her car. Pull her belt up and walk to the car that had cut me off.
I have no idea what happened after that but it made my day. The rest of my bike was with a smile.
It doesnt happen every day, it doesnt happen as often as it should. I am just glad that soccer mom had her ass handed to her.
Thank you New Westminster Police officer. I don't know who you are but thank you for being in the right place at the right time.
I get off my bike and yell at the driver. She gives the finger. I tell her she needs to be more carefull and she yells back that I need to be more carefull. She is acting like I did something wrong. She obvouslily doesnt think that nearly killing me is important. I realize that this soccer mom just doesn't get it. I mean this is right in front her Startbucks where she needs to get a venti low fat frappuccinoe before she picks up the kids from some lesson for something.
She gives me the finger and I get back on my bike. Right on the outside of the bike only lane is a female police officer in her car. She saw the whole thing. She makes sure I am not hurt. I let her know there was no impact. That my heart is just racing. I then tell her that the driver gave me the finger and told me to fuck off. She get's out of the car.
It was one of those moments where you wish you had a video camera. How many times have you been cut off, or almost hit and had nothing but attitude from the driver who almost killed you. So this time there was a cop when I needed one. I continued my ride, but I got to see the police officer get out of her car. Pull her belt up and walk to the car that had cut me off.
I have no idea what happened after that but it made my day. The rest of my bike was with a smile.
It doesnt happen every day, it doesnt happen as often as it should. I am just glad that soccer mom had her ass handed to her.
Thank you New Westminster Police officer. I don't know who you are but thank you for being in the right place at the right time.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
GF Strong Attention Program
So today was my first session at GF Strong. I was there with a couple of other people that have survived TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). We went through some attention drills and some tasks that help work the brain. The way I look at it is that I work my body with my Running, Swimming and Biking. So these are workouts for the brain.
What was really awesome was that I got to meet some people that are or have gone down the same road as I have. It was nice to talk to people that have the same struggles. I am looking forward to the 32 week program.
I will keep you up to date on my progress and any growth or improvements I notice. Check out GF Strong http://www.vch.ca/
What was really awesome was that I got to meet some people that are or have gone down the same road as I have. It was nice to talk to people that have the same struggles. I am looking forward to the 32 week program.
I will keep you up to date on my progress and any growth or improvements I notice. Check out GF Strong http://www.vch.ca/
Monday, June 01, 2009
Can't sleep
So I am feeling way better. Training is going well, and I am back in my grove. I have been having a real hard time sleeping for the last few days. It's been so hot.
My new diet is going ok, nothing but raw foods. A little bit of an adjustment. I am eating more meals.
That's about it. Broke, tired, can't sleep, and it is really hot. Wait I already said that.
Ok back to bed. If my neighbors would shut up. Problem with the heat is the windows are all open and people sit on there deck. Dick heads smokin a joint and making coments they find really funny, but aren't. So hot!!
Sleep deprived.
My new diet is going ok, nothing but raw foods. A little bit of an adjustment. I am eating more meals.
That's about it. Broke, tired, can't sleep, and it is really hot. Wait I already said that.
Ok back to bed. If my neighbors would shut up. Problem with the heat is the windows are all open and people sit on there deck. Dick heads smokin a joint and making coments they find really funny, but aren't. So hot!!
Sleep deprived.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Cancelling my Xbox Live Account
You know times are hard when you start reducing your TV channels, your Xbox Live account, and start sending less txt msg's and look for a cheaper Cell phone contract.
I was a little sad when I contacted Xbox to not automatically renew my subscription. It is sad because I have friends online. I mean these are people I will never meat, but they are people I raced with, I shot with, I sniped with or I killed. Oh the Killing!!
I found it interesting that I was actually a little bit upset. I got a little sad. I look forward to the day when I go back to my online community, my friends. So I can kick there ass in Grand Theft Auto!!
So goodbye teammates, goodbye enemies. I hope to see you soon.
I was a little sad when I contacted Xbox to not automatically renew my subscription. It is sad because I have friends online. I mean these are people I will never meat, but they are people I raced with, I shot with, I sniped with or I killed. Oh the Killing!!
I found it interesting that I was actually a little bit upset. I got a little sad. I look forward to the day when I go back to my online community, my friends. So I can kick there ass in Grand Theft Auto!!
So goodbye teammates, goodbye enemies. I hope to see you soon.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Today is a bad day.
Today is a bad day. I find myself pushing my limits physically, mentally, socially, but I just can’t seem to get anywhere. Since my accident, I have learned how to walk and talk again. I have taken a first aid course and passed. I went back to adult education and passed the math and English. I made an attempt to go back to work and passed. I started to live on my own and succeeded. I enrolled in college and did well first year. Second year I did not do as well. So I changed my major. I tried a trade school, and that did not go well. So I went back to retail job.
I was ok with this. I could put myself into the job because I believed in the company. Unfortunately the demands of a fast paste store, and a boss who was very demanding and was supportive as long as she didn’t have to do any extra work. Well that didn’t go well. My hours were reduced to 4 hours once a week. So I went to another store to work.
I know work more hours at a higher wage. I work with a great boss, and a very understanding family. I push myself every day to bring something to the table. I so very grateful for all they do for me and my wife; especially in this economic time. I just can’t help but feel there is something more to life than working two days a week.
I push myself into my training; I see the Ironman and my Marathons as some sort of answer to my cognitive functions. Maybe if I can run far enough, swim fast enough, bike somewhere other than hear. I can find something more fulfilling to live.
Today is a hard day. I am financially hurting, I am feeling setbacks. My student loans have come due. I tried to open a bank account with an over draft, but was declined because of note on my credit report. I contacted Equifax and there is still a bad record from when I was in the Hospital. This was when I was on long term disability before my stroke (after my first mini stroke that had gone undiagnosed) I had contacted the credit report companies and made a note on my record. I advised them I was late on my payments because I was in a coma. I had to threaten my company with a lawsuit to get my lost wages, and when I got my money I paid off all my creditors.
It’s not a big deal, I don’t really care, and maybe I am just looking for something to fight. I don’t know. I just want to work somewhere that is challenging and rewarding. Without being talked down to, yelled at, made to feel inferior. I don’t know what else to do anymore. I am not biking today, I am going to sit down and play some video games instead.
I have gone to my Dr. I have gone to the Government, I have contacted media, I have yelled and screamed at anyone that would listen to me. There is no follow through, there is no contact. The ministry just constantly puts up road blocks for me. I get treated like I am trying to take something from them; when all I want to do is work.
Today is a bad day. Tomorrow will be better. I am going to close the computer and play some video games. Try to not to dwell. Benefits of a memory problem is I will soon forget how bad things are; until I am reminded once again. I just want to run...........run for ever.
I was ok with this. I could put myself into the job because I believed in the company. Unfortunately the demands of a fast paste store, and a boss who was very demanding and was supportive as long as she didn’t have to do any extra work. Well that didn’t go well. My hours were reduced to 4 hours once a week. So I went to another store to work.
I know work more hours at a higher wage. I work with a great boss, and a very understanding family. I push myself every day to bring something to the table. I so very grateful for all they do for me and my wife; especially in this economic time. I just can’t help but feel there is something more to life than working two days a week.
I push myself into my training; I see the Ironman and my Marathons as some sort of answer to my cognitive functions. Maybe if I can run far enough, swim fast enough, bike somewhere other than hear. I can find something more fulfilling to live.
Today is a hard day. I am financially hurting, I am feeling setbacks. My student loans have come due. I tried to open a bank account with an over draft, but was declined because of note on my credit report. I contacted Equifax and there is still a bad record from when I was in the Hospital. This was when I was on long term disability before my stroke (after my first mini stroke that had gone undiagnosed) I had contacted the credit report companies and made a note on my record. I advised them I was late on my payments because I was in a coma. I had to threaten my company with a lawsuit to get my lost wages, and when I got my money I paid off all my creditors.
It’s not a big deal, I don’t really care, and maybe I am just looking for something to fight. I don’t know. I just want to work somewhere that is challenging and rewarding. Without being talked down to, yelled at, made to feel inferior. I don’t know what else to do anymore. I am not biking today, I am going to sit down and play some video games instead.
I have gone to my Dr. I have gone to the Government, I have contacted media, I have yelled and screamed at anyone that would listen to me. There is no follow through, there is no contact. The ministry just constantly puts up road blocks for me. I get treated like I am trying to take something from them; when all I want to do is work.
Today is a bad day. Tomorrow will be better. I am going to close the computer and play some video games. Try to not to dwell. Benefits of a memory problem is I will soon forget how bad things are; until I am reminded once again. I just want to run...........run for ever.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
NSF Fee complaint to RBC Royal Bank
Below is my complaint letter I sent in to RBC Royal Bank. For a $40.00 NSF charge.
My Name is David McGuire. I would like to make a complaint about an NSF
Charge in my account; specifically the cheque # 247 on April 2nd 2009 in
the amount of $500.00 This check was for my rent for the month of April. I
had recently started a new job and I was getting adjusted to my change in
pay schedules. I check my accounts multiple times each day, and I saw my
check went through, but it go over my overdraft limit.
I immediately called RBC Customer service operator named Dan, who said
"the cheque has gone through. If it hasn't been returned then you are OK, just
make sure you deposits before 6:00 pm to make sure".
So I phoned my Fiance who works right next to an RBC. I asked if I can
borrow some money until I get paid (less than a week) and I emphasized
what Dan said about getting in before 6:00pm. She is working but could meet
me at 5:30. She works just one business down from the RBC branch on
Broadway & Granville 1497 W Broadway Vancouver, BC.
I am about two hours away, and Mandy can't meet me until 5:30pm. So I make
sure I am at her place early. I get to her work, she gives me a cheque. It
is a cheque made to her, and she signs the back of it.
I run to the RBC just a store away. I stand in line for over 15 minutes. I
get to the cashier and let her know I want to deposit. She states that she
needs to see Mandy before she can deposit the cheque. I inform her of the
urgency, that Mandy has written me cheques before. That if I deposit
thought the ATM it would be accepted. She refuses.
It is now 5:55pm. I ask to speak to someone above her. Another female comes out who is really rude.
She throws the cheque on the counter and says, "how do I know this is
really Mandy'? I ask "what" So she says louder and much slower, like she is
talking to a child
"HOW........DO........I.........KNOW............YOU.........DIDNT........JU
ST.........FIND...........THIS...........CHEQUE?"
"are you saying that I forged a cheque"?
"How do I know this is Mandy"
I am now frustrated, the two ladies are looking at me like I am a thief,
treating me like I am trying to get away something. I phone Mandy.
"Get over here now"
I tell the two ladies that Mandy is on her way
"well we are closed now, you will have to come back tomorrow"
"I looked it is exactly 6:00pm"
There are still customers in the line behind me. I say
"no you will wait, I came all the way to do this, you will make sure
this happens because I am trying to avoid an NSF charge for me and
landlord"
Now keep in my mind, I have a traumatic brain injury. I respond to
stimulation differently than other people do. I have a slow reaction time.
For this "manager" to start talking down to me, I took as an insult. She
has no idea what I have been through. That I was never supposed to walk and
talk again, that I am training for an Ironman, that I work so hard every
day for all the things people take for granted.
Mandy is there at 6:03. She shows her ID, She has a bank account there. She
is also the bookkeeper for her company Aliki Gladwin and Associates. This
company is an interior design company that has worked for RBC, many times. They have worked on some of there buildings, and done the designs for them.
This doesn't stop the teller from making this statement
"if you make sure you have the money in the account you won't bounce cheques"
I just look at her. This wasn't done on purpose; I don't need a lecture from teller at the bank.
We were treated like we were scammers and dead beats. I am obviously trying everything I can to save both myself and my landlord fee's here. I
am aware of the situation, in fact I am the one that contacted you, not the
other way around. I am not running from my responsibility I am standing
here trying to resolve it before it happens.
What adds to my frustration is that I got no understanding. You see I am a
person with a disability. I was actually an employee of RBC in 2005 when I
had a stroke at work. I was in a coma and intensive care for 29 days. I
spent over a year in recovery. Learning how to walk and talk again.
Everything had to be relearned. As a result of my Traumatic Brain Injury I
know longer make new memories. Every day when I wake up, I have no memory
of the previous day. This puts an intense amount of stress upon me.
Despite my Short Term Memory Loss, and my Aphasia, I have gone back
to school, I have finished a Marathon, I am currently training for the
Penticton Ironman in 2009, and I hold a job.
I have submitted my issues with my disability, seeking a lower rate account
to RBC. I live off of a disability income and a settlement I got from RBC
when they terminated me while in the hospital (that took the threat of a
lawsuit however) I have dealt with Manulife, I have dealt with Short and
long term disability income with RBC. In fact the only other time I ever
was late on a bill was when I was an employee at RBC in the collections
department. I was going through the transition from short to long term
disability. I received no cheque do to Manulife. I was ultimately refunded
for any charges.
So not only do you not have accounts for people on fixed incomes, you then
charge me an NSF fee when I took every step to resolve this issue. But for
the fact that this cashier took her time, but for the fact that I went to
the teller instead of the ATM machine (I thought it faster to go to the
till) I would not have been charged this.
Where the funds in my account on the moment of the deposit, Now, but as
soon as I realised I phoned RBC and talked to Dan. I then literally ran to
my fiance's work, then to the branch. I deposited enough to cover and
cleared that with the teller. Low and behold I get home that night, and the
cheque comes back.
This letter is to inform you of two things. First, I am now setting up new
accounts with I will be opening a new chequering account at Presidents
Choice Financial, and a savings account at ING Direct. Not only do they
have accounts for people with disabilities, they have no charge accounts. I
have been overwhelmed by the customer service and the people I have talked
to. I will be taking the appropriate measures to change my automatic
withdrawals for my bills, and then I will pay off my Visa.
Second, I am now requesting refund of the $40.00 charge to my account. I am
a person on a very fixed budget. As a result of my injury I am unable to
work a full time job. With the economy the way it is, getting hit with a
$40.00 charge is several days of food for me. That is my visa payment. I
have not only been a valued customer, but I was a valued and award winning
staff member. As a previous collection agent for RBC I stay on top of my
banking. I never run from my responsibilities
I just think that RBC is nickel and dimming a person with disability. Who
struggles to make ends meet every day? Who is trying to carry the torch for
the Olympics in 2010. You have in your power, at the cost of 40.00, the
chance to do an amazing thing. Give me back my money.
p.s. I remember all these things because my accident was over 5 years ago.
I worked very hard every day to retain some semblance of my ability to
store memories. One thing I was taught in Collection at RBC was to record
everything. I make notes on my phone, my laptop, with everything I do. I
also have the transaction record of my deposit
Transit: 05680
Date: 03 Apr 2009-04-05
Time: 17:03:46
Reference # 1090936142886205680
That 3 minutes and 46 seconds cost me $40.00.
This is RBC response, with a nice little lecture of how banking works.
Dear Mr. McGuire:
We have received your message regarding the NSF fee in your account. My name is Cathy and I can be reached at 1-866-889-8860 ext 7371. Your message has been brought to my attention and I welcome the opportunity to respond. I am very sorry to hear of the difficulty and inconvenience you encountered recently with your rent cheque.
Upon review of your message and your account, Mr. McGuire, I will reverse the NSF fee as a courtesy to you. Funds are required in the account on the date the cheque is issued. For preauthorized payments, the funds are required on deposit prior to 6 p.m. that same day.
Please note, you will want to retrieve the NSF cheque if you replace it for your landlord, as it can be cashed if the payee has it certified.
I apologize for the delay in replying to your message. If I can be of further assistance, Mr. McGuire, please do not hesitate to contact me through this message center or by phone.
Sincerely,
Cathy O'Dell
Client Care Specialist
Royal Bank of Canada
1-866-889-8860, Ext 7371
So I am done with RBC. I worked for them for years, I had allot of issues when I was a collections officer. I never treated people like they were bad for owing money. On the one hand here is RBC advertising on Buses, TV, Movies, Radio, they camp outside of colleges and university's getting you sign up for credit. The second you owe money, or make a mistake. You are treated like a criminal. I am tired of being nickle and dimmed to death. I mean here are there earnings in 2008. They talk about how bad things are because they only earned Net 4,555 million. Now I am not a banker or an economist. I do know though that what they claim is the net income is allot les than there actual earnings.
TORONTO, December 5, 2008 – Royal Bank of Canada (RY on TSX and NYSE) today reported net income of $4,555 million for the
year ended October 31, 2008, down $937 million or 17% from $5,492 million a year ago. Earnings over last year were reduced by
write downs of $2,785 million before-tax ($1,418 million after-tax and compensation adjustments) and higher provisions for credit losses
primarily in our U.S. banking business. These factors were partially offset by gains of $533 million ($273 million after-tax and
compensation adjustments) on the fair value of adjustments on RBC debt designated as held-for-trading(1), and the reduction of the
Enron Corp. (Enron)-related litigation provision by $542 million ($252 million after-tax and related compensation adjustments). We had
solid results in Canadian Banking and certain businesses in Capital Markets
I got this from http://www.rbc.com/investorrelations/pdf/q408release.pdf RBC's Investment websight.
I mean there a bank, if they know how to get .25 cents out of you and me, imagine what they do to the government and big business. Next to Politician, and Cell Phone company's, banks well they are just after themselves.
For years I was there collector. I know.
Anyway I am now on the journey for a better bank. A bank that will work with me, my disability, and my specific needs. Not what the banks "Demographic" says I should have or do. So we will see. That is my rant for the day.
My Name is David McGuire. I would like to make a complaint about an NSF
Charge in my account; specifically the cheque # 247 on April 2nd 2009 in
the amount of $500.00 This check was for my rent for the month of April. I
had recently started a new job and I was getting adjusted to my change in
pay schedules. I check my accounts multiple times each day, and I saw my
check went through, but it go over my overdraft limit.
I immediately called RBC Customer service operator named Dan, who said
"the cheque has gone through. If it hasn't been returned then you are OK, just
make sure you deposits before 6:00 pm to make sure".
So I phoned my Fiance who works right next to an RBC. I asked if I can
borrow some money until I get paid (less than a week) and I emphasized
what Dan said about getting in before 6:00pm. She is working but could meet
me at 5:30. She works just one business down from the RBC branch on
Broadway & Granville 1497 W Broadway Vancouver, BC.
I am about two hours away, and Mandy can't meet me until 5:30pm. So I make
sure I am at her place early. I get to her work, she gives me a cheque. It
is a cheque made to her, and she signs the back of it.
I run to the RBC just a store away. I stand in line for over 15 minutes. I
get to the cashier and let her know I want to deposit. She states that she
needs to see Mandy before she can deposit the cheque. I inform her of the
urgency, that Mandy has written me cheques before. That if I deposit
thought the ATM it would be accepted. She refuses.
It is now 5:55pm. I ask to speak to someone above her. Another female comes out who is really rude.
She throws the cheque on the counter and says, "how do I know this is
really Mandy'? I ask "what" So she says louder and much slower, like she is
talking to a child
"HOW........DO........I.........KNOW............YOU.........DIDNT........JU
ST.........FIND...........THIS...........CHEQUE?"
"are you saying that I forged a cheque"?
"How do I know this is Mandy"
I am now frustrated, the two ladies are looking at me like I am a thief,
treating me like I am trying to get away something. I phone Mandy.
"Get over here now"
I tell the two ladies that Mandy is on her way
"well we are closed now, you will have to come back tomorrow"
"I looked it is exactly 6:00pm"
There are still customers in the line behind me. I say
"no you will wait, I came all the way to do this, you will make sure
this happens because I am trying to avoid an NSF charge for me and
landlord"
Now keep in my mind, I have a traumatic brain injury. I respond to
stimulation differently than other people do. I have a slow reaction time.
For this "manager" to start talking down to me, I took as an insult. She
has no idea what I have been through. That I was never supposed to walk and
talk again, that I am training for an Ironman, that I work so hard every
day for all the things people take for granted.
Mandy is there at 6:03. She shows her ID, She has a bank account there. She
is also the bookkeeper for her company Aliki Gladwin and Associates. This
company is an interior design company that has worked for RBC, many times. They have worked on some of there buildings, and done the designs for them.
This doesn't stop the teller from making this statement
"if you make sure you have the money in the account you won't bounce cheques"
I just look at her. This wasn't done on purpose; I don't need a lecture from teller at the bank.
We were treated like we were scammers and dead beats. I am obviously trying everything I can to save both myself and my landlord fee's here. I
am aware of the situation, in fact I am the one that contacted you, not the
other way around. I am not running from my responsibility I am standing
here trying to resolve it before it happens.
What adds to my frustration is that I got no understanding. You see I am a
person with a disability. I was actually an employee of RBC in 2005 when I
had a stroke at work. I was in a coma and intensive care for 29 days. I
spent over a year in recovery. Learning how to walk and talk again.
Everything had to be relearned. As a result of my Traumatic Brain Injury I
know longer make new memories. Every day when I wake up, I have no memory
of the previous day. This puts an intense amount of stress upon me.
Despite my Short Term Memory Loss, and my Aphasia, I have gone back
to school, I have finished a Marathon, I am currently training for the
Penticton Ironman in 2009, and I hold a job.
I have submitted my issues with my disability, seeking a lower rate account
to RBC. I live off of a disability income and a settlement I got from RBC
when they terminated me while in the hospital (that took the threat of a
lawsuit however) I have dealt with Manulife, I have dealt with Short and
long term disability income with RBC. In fact the only other time I ever
was late on a bill was when I was an employee at RBC in the collections
department. I was going through the transition from short to long term
disability. I received no cheque do to Manulife. I was ultimately refunded
for any charges.
So not only do you not have accounts for people on fixed incomes, you then
charge me an NSF fee when I took every step to resolve this issue. But for
the fact that this cashier took her time, but for the fact that I went to
the teller instead of the ATM machine (I thought it faster to go to the
till) I would not have been charged this.
Where the funds in my account on the moment of the deposit, Now, but as
soon as I realised I phoned RBC and talked to Dan. I then literally ran to
my fiance's work, then to the branch. I deposited enough to cover and
cleared that with the teller. Low and behold I get home that night, and the
cheque comes back.
This letter is to inform you of two things. First, I am now setting up new
accounts with I will be opening a new chequering account at Presidents
Choice Financial, and a savings account at ING Direct. Not only do they
have accounts for people with disabilities, they have no charge accounts. I
have been overwhelmed by the customer service and the people I have talked
to. I will be taking the appropriate measures to change my automatic
withdrawals for my bills, and then I will pay off my Visa.
Second, I am now requesting refund of the $40.00 charge to my account. I am
a person on a very fixed budget. As a result of my injury I am unable to
work a full time job. With the economy the way it is, getting hit with a
$40.00 charge is several days of food for me. That is my visa payment. I
have not only been a valued customer, but I was a valued and award winning
staff member. As a previous collection agent for RBC I stay on top of my
banking. I never run from my responsibilities
I just think that RBC is nickel and dimming a person with disability. Who
struggles to make ends meet every day? Who is trying to carry the torch for
the Olympics in 2010. You have in your power, at the cost of 40.00, the
chance to do an amazing thing. Give me back my money.
p.s. I remember all these things because my accident was over 5 years ago.
I worked very hard every day to retain some semblance of my ability to
store memories. One thing I was taught in Collection at RBC was to record
everything. I make notes on my phone, my laptop, with everything I do. I
also have the transaction record of my deposit
Transit: 05680
Date: 03 Apr 2009-04-05
Time: 17:03:46
Reference # 1090936142886205680
That 3 minutes and 46 seconds cost me $40.00.
This is RBC response, with a nice little lecture of how banking works.
Dear Mr. McGuire:
We have received your message regarding the NSF fee in your account. My name is Cathy and I can be reached at 1-866-889-8860 ext 7371. Your message has been brought to my attention and I welcome the opportunity to respond. I am very sorry to hear of the difficulty and inconvenience you encountered recently with your rent cheque.
Upon review of your message and your account, Mr. McGuire, I will reverse the NSF fee as a courtesy to you. Funds are required in the account on the date the cheque is issued. For preauthorized payments, the funds are required on deposit prior to 6 p.m. that same day.
Please note, you will want to retrieve the NSF cheque if you replace it for your landlord, as it can be cashed if the payee has it certified.
I apologize for the delay in replying to your message. If I can be of further assistance, Mr. McGuire, please do not hesitate to contact me through this message center or by phone.
Sincerely,
Cathy O'Dell
Client Care Specialist
Royal Bank of Canada
1-866-889-8860, Ext 7371
So I am done with RBC. I worked for them for years, I had allot of issues when I was a collections officer. I never treated people like they were bad for owing money. On the one hand here is RBC advertising on Buses, TV, Movies, Radio, they camp outside of colleges and university's getting you sign up for credit. The second you owe money, or make a mistake. You are treated like a criminal. I am tired of being nickle and dimmed to death. I mean here are there earnings in 2008. They talk about how bad things are because they only earned Net 4,555 million. Now I am not a banker or an economist. I do know though that what they claim is the net income is allot les than there actual earnings.
TORONTO, December 5, 2008 – Royal Bank of Canada (RY on TSX and NYSE) today reported net income of $4,555 million for the
year ended October 31, 2008, down $937 million or 17% from $5,492 million a year ago. Earnings over last year were reduced by
write downs of $2,785 million before-tax ($1,418 million after-tax and compensation adjustments) and higher provisions for credit losses
primarily in our U.S. banking business. These factors were partially offset by gains of $533 million ($273 million after-tax and
compensation adjustments) on the fair value of adjustments on RBC debt designated as held-for-trading(1), and the reduction of the
Enron Corp. (Enron)-related litigation provision by $542 million ($252 million after-tax and related compensation adjustments). We had
solid results in Canadian Banking and certain businesses in Capital Markets
I got this from http://www.rbc.com/investorrelations/pdf/q408release.pdf RBC's Investment websight.
I mean there a bank, if they know how to get .25 cents out of you and me, imagine what they do to the government and big business. Next to Politician, and Cell Phone company's, banks well they are just after themselves.
For years I was there collector. I know.
Anyway I am now on the journey for a better bank. A bank that will work with me, my disability, and my specific needs. Not what the banks "Demographic" says I should have or do. So we will see. That is my rant for the day.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
I hate smokers at bus stops and on Transit
I have the strangest thoughts sometimes. Even after brain injury, drug addiction, marriage, and a whole host of other issues, I still find myself day dreaming really odd things.
Today I am out on a run through town. As I get to the bus stop there is this fat old white guy smoking a cigarette. Just behind him is a really skinny middle aged Asian dude smoking a cigarette to. I get this weird image in my head. It goes something like this.
I grab there cigarettes and toss them into the oncoming traffic. When they say something about it, I just look at them and say
"What are you mad that I won't you give me cancer"?
In my head I see them backing down, I run down the road saving the world from two more cigarettes. Maybe they even decide to quit smoking.
You see smoking at bus stops is kind of an issue for me. Well smoking anywhere in public pisses me off. Especially when I am running and I get a nice excelled mouth full of there exhaust.
What gets me about the bus stops is that when it is really wet out everyone stand under the little cover. There is usually one guy who lights up a smoke, oblivious that this then goes into every ones breathing space. I am faced with two options as I see it, I can walk out in the rain, or I can tell them to get out of the covered area and smoke in the rain.
The way I see this is go ahead and kill yourself I don't care. Just don't kill me, or the others in the same space. If you have to stand out in the rain that's your issue. You can always put it out and stand in the covered area.
The other smoker I hate is the one that takes that last big drag just before they got on the bus. Exhaling just as they get on. Some bus drivers get pissed off, others don't care. I hate standing next to these idiots on a crowded bus. I can feel the smoke in my eyes. The smell is something else to.
Then there are the smokers on the skytrain platforms. I am that guy that points to the "no smoking" signs everywhere. I don't care if you can't speak English, you can tell what a sign that has a cigarette with a cross over it is telling you.
I am sure one day I will get punched in the head for the comments I make to them. I just don't get it. I was a smoker, for years. I quit in 2002. I was always very aware that I was smoking though.
I would like to see transit get a little more aggressive with the smokers at the bus stops.
That is my rant for the day. The reason I posted this was because as I have running the last few days, I have really started to notice the amount of smokers everywhere. I know you can't smoke in doors. This now means that people just stand outside a business and smoke right at the door. Meaning that when I have to go in, or run buy, I get a nice inhale of second hand smoke.
I have been starting to get more aggressive. I have no idea what the psychology behind that is, I just know that I am getting a little to angry. I just want to rip those cigs out of there hands, steal the box, and then run away. Oh I dream of a guy with a nice big cigar......easy target.
Today I am out on a run through town. As I get to the bus stop there is this fat old white guy smoking a cigarette. Just behind him is a really skinny middle aged Asian dude smoking a cigarette to. I get this weird image in my head. It goes something like this.
I grab there cigarettes and toss them into the oncoming traffic. When they say something about it, I just look at them and say
"What are you mad that I won't you give me cancer"?
In my head I see them backing down, I run down the road saving the world from two more cigarettes. Maybe they even decide to quit smoking.
You see smoking at bus stops is kind of an issue for me. Well smoking anywhere in public pisses me off. Especially when I am running and I get a nice excelled mouth full of there exhaust.
What gets me about the bus stops is that when it is really wet out everyone stand under the little cover. There is usually one guy who lights up a smoke, oblivious that this then goes into every ones breathing space. I am faced with two options as I see it, I can walk out in the rain, or I can tell them to get out of the covered area and smoke in the rain.
The way I see this is go ahead and kill yourself I don't care. Just don't kill me, or the others in the same space. If you have to stand out in the rain that's your issue. You can always put it out and stand in the covered area.
The other smoker I hate is the one that takes that last big drag just before they got on the bus. Exhaling just as they get on. Some bus drivers get pissed off, others don't care. I hate standing next to these idiots on a crowded bus. I can feel the smoke in my eyes. The smell is something else to.
Then there are the smokers on the skytrain platforms. I am that guy that points to the "no smoking" signs everywhere. I don't care if you can't speak English, you can tell what a sign that has a cigarette with a cross over it is telling you.
I am sure one day I will get punched in the head for the comments I make to them. I just don't get it. I was a smoker, for years. I quit in 2002. I was always very aware that I was smoking though.
I would like to see transit get a little more aggressive with the smokers at the bus stops.
That is my rant for the day. The reason I posted this was because as I have running the last few days, I have really started to notice the amount of smokers everywhere. I know you can't smoke in doors. This now means that people just stand outside a business and smoke right at the door. Meaning that when I have to go in, or run buy, I get a nice inhale of second hand smoke.
I have been starting to get more aggressive. I have no idea what the psychology behind that is, I just know that I am getting a little to angry. I just want to rip those cigs out of there hands, steal the box, and then run away. Oh I dream of a guy with a nice big cigar......easy target.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Why a Minority Government is the best for the Country.
Look I get it, the point of a Member of Parliament and a representative of the Liberals is to argue against the opposition. I get that. What I don't like is when some twit like Denis Coderre comes on and tries to blame the current economic crisis on Steven Harper.
I know the opposition always wants to blame everything on the current power. I just saw Denis Coderre on CTV News Net channel 20. He is trying to push Michael Ignatieff into being the leader of Canada. So here he is trying to trash the current leader Steven Harper.
So as he is making these grand, bold statements about how bad the Harper government is, how is it Harper's fault that the world is in an economic spin. Even though Canada is doing allot better than other countries, here were his statements on News Net today:
"Ya know we have made some mistakes in the past, but it's nothing like what Harper is doing"
Are you kidding me?
"I have been in politics for 25 years, I know what Canadians want. They are (Harper Government) making mistakes and they are lying to us, and they are making mistakes. The Liberals will be the alternative to this"???
Are you serious?
"A British politician is usually caught with his hand up a woman's skirt while a Canadian politician is usually caught with his hand in the till."
- Sun Media columnist Valerie Gibson
"This is the biggest scandal in Canadian history."
- Conservative Leader Stephen Harper on the sponsorship fiasco
Let's take a look at how the Liberals will save us from this "world wide recession" that apparently is all because of Steven Harper.
Maybe we can bring back the Liberals of the past.
January of 1978, Solicitor General Francis Fox was forced to resign from Pierre Trudeau's Liberal cabinet after he was found to have helped procure an abortion for a woman with whom he had had an affair. Fox had signed the woman's husband's name on a hospital document – not a terribly acceptable action on the part of the country's top law enforcer. He returned to practising law, became an executive with Rogers Wireless Communications, and eventually returned to the backrooms of politics, serving as currently as Liberal Prime Minister Paul Martin's principal secretary through most of 2004.
Or how about the tuna scandal. This 1985 fiasco brought down Brian Mulroney's minister of fisheries and oceans and robbed a New Brunswick town of its main employer. The story broke on CBC's The Fifth Estate on Sept. 17, 1985: Fisheries minister John Fraser had overturned an order from his own inspectors and ordered a million cans of StarKist tuna released for sale to the public. The inspectors had said the tuna, packed at the StarKist plant in St. Andrews, N.B., was so badly spoiled that it wasn't even fit to be turned into cat food. The plant's owners had lobbied Fraser to release the cans for sale, saying they might shut the plant if the tuna couldn't be sold.
When the story broke, Fraser said he had sent samples of the tuna to two independent labs for testing, but those labs later said they hadn't finished their tests by the time Fraser decided to release the shipment. Six days after the scandal erupted, Mulroney asked Fraser to resign. In a twist the opposition parties were quick to exploit, Fraser and Mulroney both initially said that Mulroney had known about the original decision to release the tuna. The two men later said the prime minister had not known until the affair became public.
Fraser eventually went on to a new job, becoming Speaker in the House of Commons, but the 400 StarKist workers in St. Andrews weren't so lucky. The plant was shattered after the company's market share slumped, and they were thrown out of work.
Pity poor Brian Mulroney. The Progressive Conservative prime minister lost an average of one cabinet minister to allegations of wrong-doing during each year of his 1984-1993 reign.
First there was Robert Coates, who stepped down as defence minister in 1985 after it was revealed that he had visited a strip club in West Germany while in that country on official business. Communications Minister Marcel Masse left over an alleged violation of the Canada Elections Act (he was later exonerated), followed closely by John Fraser.
In 1986, Minister of Regional Industrial Expansion Sinclair Stevens stepped down because of conflict of interest allegations related to a $2.6-million loan to a Stevens family company. André Bissonnette, the minister of state for transport, resigned in 1987 while the RCMP investigated his alleged involvement in land speculation. Roch La Salle, who served Mulroney in the public works, and supply and services portfolios, left cabinet the same year after being charged with demanding a bribe and accepting money from businesses looking for government favours. The charges were later dropped.
Conflict of interest allegations involving a personal loan felled Supply and Services Minister Michel Coté in 1988. Bernard Valcourt stepped down in 1989 after pleading guilty to an impaired driving offence. In 1990, current Quebec Premier Jean Charest had to leave his two posts as minister for fitness and amateur sport, and minister for youth after trying to talk to a judge about an ongoing case.
And, finally, in 1991, Housing Minister Alan Redway offered his resignation after being charged over joking about having a gun while boarding a flight at the Ottawa airport. Not a cabinet minister but equally embarrassing to the Conservatives was Quebec MP Michel Gravel, who in 1986 was charged with 50 counts of fraud and influence peddling. He later pleaded guilty to 15 charges, paid a $50,000 fine and served four months in jail.
Who would have thought a little pepper would be so harmful to one's political health? In November 1997, the RCMP pepper-sprayed protesters lining the planned route of world leaders attending the Asia-Pacific Economic Co-operation Conference in Vancouver. Liberal PM Jean Chrétien brushed away the incident, joking: "For me, pepper, I put it on my plate."
Almost four years later, a commission of inquiry led by retired Saskatchewan judge Ted Hughes found that the Mounties had acted inappropriately, and instructed them to make sure in the future that "generous opportunity will be afforded for peaceful protesters to see and be seen in their protest activities by guests to the event." Hughes also found that officials from the Prime Minister's Office, specifically director of operations Jean Carle, played an "improper role" in giving instructions to the RCMP to clear the motorcade route quickly, using force if necessary.
The affair left Chrétien personally unscathed but claimed a prominent victim from his cabinet. Solicitor General Andy Scott resigned in November 1998 after he was heard loudly telling a seatmate on a flight home to Fredericton that RCMP Staff Sgt. Hugh Stewart "would take the fall" for the pepper-spraying incident. Foes immediately complained that Scott had prejudiced the RCMP Public Complaints Commission hearing then taking place by commenting on the panel's possible findings.
Airbus: Long out of politics, former Progressive Conservative prime minister Brian Mulroney was dragged back into the public arena, thanks to the RCMP and a lobbyist called Karlheinz Schreiber. As part of an investigation into Schreiber's role in an alleged plot involving secret commissions and kickbacks in deals for the purchase of airplanes and helicopters, the federal Justice Department sent a letter to the Swiss government. The 1995 letter alleged that Mulroney was also involved in the arrangement, taking kickbacks on the sale of Airbus planes to Air Canada during his time as prime minister.
When the letter became public, Mulroney sued the federal government for defamation, seeking $50 million in damages. Two years later, he settled for $2 million in legal costs and an apology from Ottawa. The RCMP finally ended its criminal investigation against Mulroney in April 2003, citing a lack of evidence.
The billion-dollar boondoggle: Human Resources Development Minister Jane Stewart was in the hot seat in 2000 when an internal audit found that Jean Chrétien's Liberal government had failed to track employment program grants worth $1 billion to make sure the money was spent properly and the promised jobs were created. At one time, the RCMP had launched 12 separate investigations into HRDC files as a result of the audit; three of them related to grants awarded in the prime minister's riding of Saint-Maurice. Stewart faced grilling for months in the House of Commons, but managed to hold on to her job. She decided not to run again in the 2004 federal election, however.
Shawinigate: Questions over Prime Minister Jean Chrétien's involvement in two properties in his riding began in 1993 and lingered until the day he left office in late 2003. Chrétien sold his stake in the Auberge Grand-Mère resort just before becoming prime minister and sold his shares in the Grand-Mère Golf Course shortly after that. But he wasn't paid for the golf course shares until 1999.
The issue at the heart of the debate: when exactly did Chrétien stop having an "interest" in the properties? Twice in 1996, he contacted François Beaudoin, president of the federal Business Development Bank of Canada, about a $2-million loan being sought by Yvon Duhaime, the new owner of the Auberge Grand-Mère, to expand the hotel. The prime minister made another call to the BDC in 1997 about a scaled-back version of the loan. The federal ethics counsellor later ruled that Chrétien had done nothing wrong, but the opposition parties loudly begged to differ.
(I took some of these articles from http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/cdngovernment/scandals.html )
Now I am not necessarily a fan of Steven Harper. I am a fan of a Minority Government. I like it when all sides are heard, not just one. When Mr. Harper has to please everyone, we see a much broader sense of justice. The matters that really matter, get attention.
Coming from the point of view of a person with a disability, Harper's cuts have hurt me. Not only has there been allot of cuts not only to Social Service, but to the whole infrastructure of the Social Service and Mental Health Services offered (read below to my other post for my rants about that). This is not the issue today though.
I by no means am a political analyst. I am just a Canadian citizen and a person with a disability. As I get older however I can't help but notice what idiots these politicians are.
They remind me of my addiction days where I could talk someone out of their money, or manipulate them and use them to my own needs. Then when I no longer needed them, dispense of them, and move on. Only to blame them when I was questioned or caught. So I would forget my misdeeds, and focus on how if only today, just today, they trusted me one more time, then I would make right all the past mistakes.
These leaders are nothing but addicts. Constantly seeking their "high". As soon as it crashes though, they are scourging for more money, standing on the street begging for change, waiting in line for their welfare check. Then catching a cab to their dealer with promises of riches, better times, getting back all that they have lost. Then the high goes away, the welfare check is gone, can't afford the bus let alone a cab, so they come back to the sky train entrance and beg and clean the passing cars. Willing to do anything and make any promise if only they can just make some money to get their next fix, everything will be OK.
I know the opposition always wants to blame everything on the current power. I just saw Denis Coderre on CTV News Net channel 20. He is trying to push Michael Ignatieff into being the leader of Canada. So here he is trying to trash the current leader Steven Harper.
So as he is making these grand, bold statements about how bad the Harper government is, how is it Harper's fault that the world is in an economic spin. Even though Canada is doing allot better than other countries, here were his statements on News Net today:
"Ya know we have made some mistakes in the past, but it's nothing like what Harper is doing"
Are you kidding me?
"I have been in politics for 25 years, I know what Canadians want. They are (Harper Government) making mistakes and they are lying to us, and they are making mistakes. The Liberals will be the alternative to this"???
Are you serious?
"A British politician is usually caught with his hand up a woman's skirt while a Canadian politician is usually caught with his hand in the till."
- Sun Media columnist Valerie Gibson
"This is the biggest scandal in Canadian history."
- Conservative Leader Stephen Harper on the sponsorship fiasco
Let's take a look at how the Liberals will save us from this "world wide recession" that apparently is all because of Steven Harper.
Maybe we can bring back the Liberals of the past.
January of 1978, Solicitor General Francis Fox was forced to resign from Pierre Trudeau's Liberal cabinet after he was found to have helped procure an abortion for a woman with whom he had had an affair. Fox had signed the woman's husband's name on a hospital document – not a terribly acceptable action on the part of the country's top law enforcer. He returned to practising law, became an executive with Rogers Wireless Communications, and eventually returned to the backrooms of politics, serving as currently as Liberal Prime Minister Paul Martin's principal secretary through most of 2004.
Or how about the tuna scandal. This 1985 fiasco brought down Brian Mulroney's minister of fisheries and oceans and robbed a New Brunswick town of its main employer. The story broke on CBC's The Fifth Estate on Sept. 17, 1985: Fisheries minister John Fraser had overturned an order from his own inspectors and ordered a million cans of StarKist tuna released for sale to the public. The inspectors had said the tuna, packed at the StarKist plant in St. Andrews, N.B., was so badly spoiled that it wasn't even fit to be turned into cat food. The plant's owners had lobbied Fraser to release the cans for sale, saying they might shut the plant if the tuna couldn't be sold.
When the story broke, Fraser said he had sent samples of the tuna to two independent labs for testing, but those labs later said they hadn't finished their tests by the time Fraser decided to release the shipment. Six days after the scandal erupted, Mulroney asked Fraser to resign. In a twist the opposition parties were quick to exploit, Fraser and Mulroney both initially said that Mulroney had known about the original decision to release the tuna. The two men later said the prime minister had not known until the affair became public.
Fraser eventually went on to a new job, becoming Speaker in the House of Commons, but the 400 StarKist workers in St. Andrews weren't so lucky. The plant was shattered after the company's market share slumped, and they were thrown out of work.
Pity poor Brian Mulroney. The Progressive Conservative prime minister lost an average of one cabinet minister to allegations of wrong-doing during each year of his 1984-1993 reign.
First there was Robert Coates, who stepped down as defence minister in 1985 after it was revealed that he had visited a strip club in West Germany while in that country on official business. Communications Minister Marcel Masse left over an alleged violation of the Canada Elections Act (he was later exonerated), followed closely by John Fraser.
In 1986, Minister of Regional Industrial Expansion Sinclair Stevens stepped down because of conflict of interest allegations related to a $2.6-million loan to a Stevens family company. André Bissonnette, the minister of state for transport, resigned in 1987 while the RCMP investigated his alleged involvement in land speculation. Roch La Salle, who served Mulroney in the public works, and supply and services portfolios, left cabinet the same year after being charged with demanding a bribe and accepting money from businesses looking for government favours. The charges were later dropped.
Conflict of interest allegations involving a personal loan felled Supply and Services Minister Michel Coté in 1988. Bernard Valcourt stepped down in 1989 after pleading guilty to an impaired driving offence. In 1990, current Quebec Premier Jean Charest had to leave his two posts as minister for fitness and amateur sport, and minister for youth after trying to talk to a judge about an ongoing case.
And, finally, in 1991, Housing Minister Alan Redway offered his resignation after being charged over joking about having a gun while boarding a flight at the Ottawa airport. Not a cabinet minister but equally embarrassing to the Conservatives was Quebec MP Michel Gravel, who in 1986 was charged with 50 counts of fraud and influence peddling. He later pleaded guilty to 15 charges, paid a $50,000 fine and served four months in jail.
Who would have thought a little pepper would be so harmful to one's political health? In November 1997, the RCMP pepper-sprayed protesters lining the planned route of world leaders attending the Asia-Pacific Economic Co-operation Conference in Vancouver. Liberal PM Jean Chrétien brushed away the incident, joking: "For me, pepper, I put it on my plate."
Almost four years later, a commission of inquiry led by retired Saskatchewan judge Ted Hughes found that the Mounties had acted inappropriately, and instructed them to make sure in the future that "generous opportunity will be afforded for peaceful protesters to see and be seen in their protest activities by guests to the event." Hughes also found that officials from the Prime Minister's Office, specifically director of operations Jean Carle, played an "improper role" in giving instructions to the RCMP to clear the motorcade route quickly, using force if necessary.
The affair left Chrétien personally unscathed but claimed a prominent victim from his cabinet. Solicitor General Andy Scott resigned in November 1998 after he was heard loudly telling a seatmate on a flight home to Fredericton that RCMP Staff Sgt. Hugh Stewart "would take the fall" for the pepper-spraying incident. Foes immediately complained that Scott had prejudiced the RCMP Public Complaints Commission hearing then taking place by commenting on the panel's possible findings.
Airbus: Long out of politics, former Progressive Conservative prime minister Brian Mulroney was dragged back into the public arena, thanks to the RCMP and a lobbyist called Karlheinz Schreiber. As part of an investigation into Schreiber's role in an alleged plot involving secret commissions and kickbacks in deals for the purchase of airplanes and helicopters, the federal Justice Department sent a letter to the Swiss government. The 1995 letter alleged that Mulroney was also involved in the arrangement, taking kickbacks on the sale of Airbus planes to Air Canada during his time as prime minister.
When the letter became public, Mulroney sued the federal government for defamation, seeking $50 million in damages. Two years later, he settled for $2 million in legal costs and an apology from Ottawa. The RCMP finally ended its criminal investigation against Mulroney in April 2003, citing a lack of evidence.
The billion-dollar boondoggle: Human Resources Development Minister Jane Stewart was in the hot seat in 2000 when an internal audit found that Jean Chrétien's Liberal government had failed to track employment program grants worth $1 billion to make sure the money was spent properly and the promised jobs were created. At one time, the RCMP had launched 12 separate investigations into HRDC files as a result of the audit; three of them related to grants awarded in the prime minister's riding of Saint-Maurice. Stewart faced grilling for months in the House of Commons, but managed to hold on to her job. She decided not to run again in the 2004 federal election, however.
Shawinigate: Questions over Prime Minister Jean Chrétien's involvement in two properties in his riding began in 1993 and lingered until the day he left office in late 2003. Chrétien sold his stake in the Auberge Grand-Mère resort just before becoming prime minister and sold his shares in the Grand-Mère Golf Course shortly after that. But he wasn't paid for the golf course shares until 1999.
The issue at the heart of the debate: when exactly did Chrétien stop having an "interest" in the properties? Twice in 1996, he contacted François Beaudoin, president of the federal Business Development Bank of Canada, about a $2-million loan being sought by Yvon Duhaime, the new owner of the Auberge Grand-Mère, to expand the hotel. The prime minister made another call to the BDC in 1997 about a scaled-back version of the loan. The federal ethics counsellor later ruled that Chrétien had done nothing wrong, but the opposition parties loudly begged to differ.
(I took some of these articles from http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/cdngovernment/scandals.html )
Now I am not necessarily a fan of Steven Harper. I am a fan of a Minority Government. I like it when all sides are heard, not just one. When Mr. Harper has to please everyone, we see a much broader sense of justice. The matters that really matter, get attention.
Coming from the point of view of a person with a disability, Harper's cuts have hurt me. Not only has there been allot of cuts not only to Social Service, but to the whole infrastructure of the Social Service and Mental Health Services offered (read below to my other post for my rants about that). This is not the issue today though.
I by no means am a political analyst. I am just a Canadian citizen and a person with a disability. As I get older however I can't help but notice what idiots these politicians are.
They remind me of my addiction days where I could talk someone out of their money, or manipulate them and use them to my own needs. Then when I no longer needed them, dispense of them, and move on. Only to blame them when I was questioned or caught. So I would forget my misdeeds, and focus on how if only today, just today, they trusted me one more time, then I would make right all the past mistakes.
These leaders are nothing but addicts. Constantly seeking their "high". As soon as it crashes though, they are scourging for more money, standing on the street begging for change, waiting in line for their welfare check. Then catching a cab to their dealer with promises of riches, better times, getting back all that they have lost. Then the high goes away, the welfare check is gone, can't afford the bus let alone a cab, so they come back to the sky train entrance and beg and clean the passing cars. Willing to do anything and make any promise if only they can just make some money to get their next fix, everything will be OK.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Life After TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury)
It has been a hard couple of months. I am now working at a shoe store called Foot Solutions. It is owned by very good family friends. They are very understanding of my injury and my disability.
I tried to work again at the Running Room. I like the atmosphere of the Running Room. I love the customers and majority of the staff. There is one great Area Manager named Amanda who is awesome.
The issue with working a retail job with my short term memory loss is that people lose patience. They think because they told me twice, or that they wrote it down, or that I wrote it down that I should remember it.
The new manager looked like a good fit for me when I went back to the Running Room after leaving BCIT's carpentry program. She used to be a nurse at a mental hospital, she understood the psychiatric, mental, and physical limitation I had. She was a clean freak, she was an organization master.
The problem; however, she was a bitch. She is a nice bitch. I would love to have her working for my company if I owned one. The problem with her is almost like that of a doctor with no "bed side manner". She had very little patience or wiggle room in her demands.
It was do it her way, the right way, or get out. She lost her temper. She had a way of asking questions that made me feel like a kid who the teacher was making an example of in class.
"David did you put the shoes in the right box?"
"Do you want to make sure?"
"We have had allot of shoes go in the wrong box."
"Why don't you check it again."
"Oh good for you, you got the shoes in the right box."
"We need to always make sure that the shoes go in the right box David."
"I am really glad that you had the shoes in the right box."
Another co-worker admitted later to her that he has problems putting the shoes in the right box when it's busy. She never apologized for accusing me, or for making me question myself.For using this as reason to cut my hours. Causing me to question my ability to feel certain of my actions.
You see I know I am disabled. Have you ever opened the door for someone in a wheelchair, or someone using a cain, and have that person get mad at you? It's not you they are mad at.The act of opening the door in your point of view is
"hey let me give me you hand."
However, to the person in the wheelchair, or using the cain, you are not only reminding them they are disabled, but you are assuming they can't open the door on thier own. It's a double wammy.
Now to add a twist to it, sometimes we need your help. Sometimes that person gets mad you didn't open the door.
"Can't you see I am in a wheelchair"?
Other times you run the risk of
"I don't need you to help me, I can do this myself!"
It depends on how accepting that person is of their own disability. How their day has gone. We have bad days to, somedays are so hard. Somedays I need help opening the door. Have ever needed help opening a door?
I think my biggest frustration besides the "helpfullness" of people like my ex boss at the Running Room. The ones who come across as helpful and understandin. Is that they are supportive as long as it makes them look good.
These are people that want to feel better about themselves. The ones that help out the less fortunate because that makes them feel they are better than the less fortunate. So if they help out, they are good people. Maybe it helps them deal with their own demons. I don't know.
There is a hidden anger in these people, those that have a bitterness inside. Some people have made statements to me like "I wish I was disabled so I got money from the government" Or "I wish my bad memory could be blamed on a head injury." I have talked about them before.
The other kind of person is one that feigns interest. To either help themselves feel better, or make themselves look better to other people. Think of the retirement home nurse that saves lives, and cares for the elderly, but steals their jewelry. The social worker that makes an "error" in sending out a check to a disabled person she mistakes as a drug addict or who she thinks is "faking it" or the care worker that abuses the people that can't fight back.
I am not saying that happens all the time. I am showing extreme examples of it. There are varying degrees of these kinds of situations. Like a boss who cuts your hours down to 4 hours once a week, to "help not overwhelm you" so she can hire someone who she thinks will put the shoe in the right box.
I mean at the end of the day I get it. I make them work harder. People don't want to work harder. They want there routine to go on. People don't like change. You add change and suddenly they have to come back to a work environment that is different. You have made some errors in the learning curve, and people freak. You have brokend the bubble. Everyone has a learningg curve, My curve is longer than other people's.
Add the fact they have to change, you break there routine, you make them work harder. That is hard for anyone in the best of times, add the current economic situation and this equals: get rid of the guy that makes you work harder.It's simple.
On the one hand I get it. I mean I wasn't always disabled. I get that it's a dog eat dog world. I know I am the low dog on the totem pole. I understand. Doesn't mean I like it. Doesn't mean I will give up.
It does mean that it sucks. It does mean that I get depressed. It does mean I get that I have to work so hard every day just to be slightly above passing. I will never be #1, #2, or #3. I just want to have a #. I don't want to be expendable.
On bad days, I just want to be normal again. I just want to be able to do what I did before. I want things to be easy again. At least all the things I took for granted.
On most days however, I don't want it to be different. I am not glad of my injury. I am glad of what I have done since my injury. I am glad of what I am still capable of doing. That and I going to be an Ironman!!
I tried to work again at the Running Room. I like the atmosphere of the Running Room. I love the customers and majority of the staff. There is one great Area Manager named Amanda who is awesome.
The issue with working a retail job with my short term memory loss is that people lose patience. They think because they told me twice, or that they wrote it down, or that I wrote it down that I should remember it.
The new manager looked like a good fit for me when I went back to the Running Room after leaving BCIT's carpentry program. She used to be a nurse at a mental hospital, she understood the psychiatric, mental, and physical limitation I had. She was a clean freak, she was an organization master.
The problem; however, she was a bitch. She is a nice bitch. I would love to have her working for my company if I owned one. The problem with her is almost like that of a doctor with no "bed side manner". She had very little patience or wiggle room in her demands.
It was do it her way, the right way, or get out. She lost her temper. She had a way of asking questions that made me feel like a kid who the teacher was making an example of in class.
"David did you put the shoes in the right box?"
"Do you want to make sure?"
"We have had allot of shoes go in the wrong box."
"Why don't you check it again."
"Oh good for you, you got the shoes in the right box."
"We need to always make sure that the shoes go in the right box David."
"I am really glad that you had the shoes in the right box."
Another co-worker admitted later to her that he has problems putting the shoes in the right box when it's busy. She never apologized for accusing me, or for making me question myself.For using this as reason to cut my hours. Causing me to question my ability to feel certain of my actions.
You see I know I am disabled. Have you ever opened the door for someone in a wheelchair, or someone using a cain, and have that person get mad at you? It's not you they are mad at.The act of opening the door in your point of view is
"hey let me give me you hand."
However, to the person in the wheelchair, or using the cain, you are not only reminding them they are disabled, but you are assuming they can't open the door on thier own. It's a double wammy.
Now to add a twist to it, sometimes we need your help. Sometimes that person gets mad you didn't open the door.
"Can't you see I am in a wheelchair"?
Other times you run the risk of
"I don't need you to help me, I can do this myself!"
It depends on how accepting that person is of their own disability. How their day has gone. We have bad days to, somedays are so hard. Somedays I need help opening the door. Have ever needed help opening a door?
I think my biggest frustration besides the "helpfullness" of people like my ex boss at the Running Room. The ones who come across as helpful and understandin. Is that they are supportive as long as it makes them look good.
These are people that want to feel better about themselves. The ones that help out the less fortunate because that makes them feel they are better than the less fortunate. So if they help out, they are good people. Maybe it helps them deal with their own demons. I don't know.
There is a hidden anger in these people, those that have a bitterness inside. Some people have made statements to me like "I wish I was disabled so I got money from the government" Or "I wish my bad memory could be blamed on a head injury." I have talked about them before.
The other kind of person is one that feigns interest. To either help themselves feel better, or make themselves look better to other people. Think of the retirement home nurse that saves lives, and cares for the elderly, but steals their jewelry. The social worker that makes an "error" in sending out a check to a disabled person she mistakes as a drug addict or who she thinks is "faking it" or the care worker that abuses the people that can't fight back.
I am not saying that happens all the time. I am showing extreme examples of it. There are varying degrees of these kinds of situations. Like a boss who cuts your hours down to 4 hours once a week, to "help not overwhelm you" so she can hire someone who she thinks will put the shoe in the right box.
I mean at the end of the day I get it. I make them work harder. People don't want to work harder. They want there routine to go on. People don't like change. You add change and suddenly they have to come back to a work environment that is different. You have made some errors in the learning curve, and people freak. You have brokend the bubble. Everyone has a learningg curve, My curve is longer than other people's.
Add the fact they have to change, you break there routine, you make them work harder. That is hard for anyone in the best of times, add the current economic situation and this equals: get rid of the guy that makes you work harder.It's simple.
On the one hand I get it. I mean I wasn't always disabled. I get that it's a dog eat dog world. I know I am the low dog on the totem pole. I understand. Doesn't mean I like it. Doesn't mean I will give up.
It does mean that it sucks. It does mean that I get depressed. It does mean I get that I have to work so hard every day just to be slightly above passing. I will never be #1, #2, or #3. I just want to have a #. I don't want to be expendable.
On bad days, I just want to be normal again. I just want to be able to do what I did before. I want things to be easy again. At least all the things I took for granted.
On most days however, I don't want it to be different. I am not glad of my injury. I am glad of what I have done since my injury. I am glad of what I am still capable of doing. That and I going to be an Ironman!!
Friday, March 06, 2009
New job, New attitude, New blog.
OK, so I have started a new blog http://davidsjourneytoironman.blogspot.com/ this blog will be Triathlon specific. It is not only about the journey to Penticton. It is also about the training, the gear, the food, the scheduling, and everything else that goes with it.
This blog is going to focus on my day to day stuff. Well I guess not day to day, but when I need to vent, or add something I feel the world should here!!. Because world, sometimes you just listen.
So since my last posting a few things have changed. Despite an incredible amount of effort, time, money and blood and tears. My damaged brain, and current cognitive skills have shown that not only is school not going to work, but I am having trouble holding jobs.
I left the carpentry course because it just moved to fast, there was problems with how they provided me with "support". There way of dealing with Aphasia was to give me a dictionary.
I wish I could say it was all there fault, but it wasn't. I mean part of it was for sure. The other part, when I am honest, is my brain just doesn't process that intense of information, that is provided at such a fast paste. I just litterly can't do it.
That is still hard to admit. I don't like thinking I can't do things. I am so driven since my accident. It feels like everywhere I turn there are constant, overwhelming, obstacles. I just want a day off from being disabled. Just one.
I went back to work at the Running Room. At first this seemed to be a really good fit. I worked for about a month and a half. Then I ran into a few issues, again I wish I could point my finger at one particular thing, I wish I could say my boss was a bitch. Well she is, but she is also a fair bitch. I get she has her own bitches to deal with. I get she has a budget she has quotas to meet.
I just found they didn't give me enough time to adjust. I was willing, no I did, give them everything I had. I just didn't work fast enough, or learn fast enough, or do things "the perfect way". So my hours were reduced to 4 hours once a week.
I can't afford that. I understand there point of view. Which bluntly is, why pay me to do a job 3 or 4 times. When you could pay someone else to the job the first time right.
I just get frustrated that life is not balanced by intentions, or desire. Instead it is run by profit, and who ever doesn't make the boss work harder. There are two sides of me. The one that understands this. However, there is also that side of me that gets frustrated.
I mean I fit into to this world where I am not disabled enough to qualify for more funding, but I am not enabled enough to even work a minimum wage job.
When I talked to my support groups i.e. speech pathologists, Dr's, friends, etc. What I heard from the professionals was "you can always volunteer". To them I am a number, I am a statistic, they don't live my life. I am not willing to settle with $900.00 some odd dollars a month. Not when I want a house, support my wife, go on vacations, have kids. I want success to. Just as much as anyone else does
I mean on the one I am lucky to be alive. I have a incredible amount of generosity for my new life. What is the point of living if am just an old broken compute sitting by the garbage bin? I just don't have the processing speed for this world. I guess not the world I choose to live in.
That being said, I have found a new job. I am now working at Foot Solutions three times a week. The honours are close friends by proxy. My wife has known them since childhood.
They are understanding and supportive and it's a great working environment. I am still trying to get into this new "me". Find out what I can do, and what I can't. This has been a strange journey. That doesn't seem like it is settling down anytime soon.
This blog is going to focus on my day to day stuff. Well I guess not day to day, but when I need to vent, or add something I feel the world should here!!. Because world, sometimes you just listen.
So since my last posting a few things have changed. Despite an incredible amount of effort, time, money and blood and tears. My damaged brain, and current cognitive skills have shown that not only is school not going to work, but I am having trouble holding jobs.
I left the carpentry course because it just moved to fast, there was problems with how they provided me with "support". There way of dealing with Aphasia was to give me a dictionary.
I wish I could say it was all there fault, but it wasn't. I mean part of it was for sure. The other part, when I am honest, is my brain just doesn't process that intense of information, that is provided at such a fast paste. I just litterly can't do it.
That is still hard to admit. I don't like thinking I can't do things. I am so driven since my accident. It feels like everywhere I turn there are constant, overwhelming, obstacles. I just want a day off from being disabled. Just one.
I went back to work at the Running Room. At first this seemed to be a really good fit. I worked for about a month and a half. Then I ran into a few issues, again I wish I could point my finger at one particular thing, I wish I could say my boss was a bitch. Well she is, but she is also a fair bitch. I get she has her own bitches to deal with. I get she has a budget she has quotas to meet.
I just found they didn't give me enough time to adjust. I was willing, no I did, give them everything I had. I just didn't work fast enough, or learn fast enough, or do things "the perfect way". So my hours were reduced to 4 hours once a week.
I can't afford that. I understand there point of view. Which bluntly is, why pay me to do a job 3 or 4 times. When you could pay someone else to the job the first time right.
I just get frustrated that life is not balanced by intentions, or desire. Instead it is run by profit, and who ever doesn't make the boss work harder. There are two sides of me. The one that understands this. However, there is also that side of me that gets frustrated.
I mean I fit into to this world where I am not disabled enough to qualify for more funding, but I am not enabled enough to even work a minimum wage job.
When I talked to my support groups i.e. speech pathologists, Dr's, friends, etc. What I heard from the professionals was "you can always volunteer". To them I am a number, I am a statistic, they don't live my life. I am not willing to settle with $900.00 some odd dollars a month. Not when I want a house, support my wife, go on vacations, have kids. I want success to. Just as much as anyone else does
I mean on the one I am lucky to be alive. I have a incredible amount of generosity for my new life. What is the point of living if am just an old broken compute sitting by the garbage bin? I just don't have the processing speed for this world. I guess not the world I choose to live in.
That being said, I have found a new job. I am now working at Foot Solutions three times a week. The honours are close friends by proxy. My wife has known them since childhood.
They are understanding and supportive and it's a great working environment. I am still trying to get into this new "me". Find out what I can do, and what I can't. This has been a strange journey. That doesn't seem like it is settling down anytime soon.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Dealing with Advanced Education after TBI
So I have left my second attempt school. First was College. I made it through three semesters but then, between the course load, my reduced processing speed, the fact that since my injury I am very easily over stimulated. Not to mention just the stress of college. I had to decide to continue or leave.
In order for me to succeed at school. I take what is called High Needs Part Time Student Loans. These allow me to go school part time, with full time student loans. The idea that because I require extra time to process, study, respond, and digest information. I am also unable to work while taking courses. This is quite a change for a guy that pre-injury could be at work on the phone, surfing the web, talking to a co-worker and still stay on top of everything. My reduced multi-tasking skill have been greatly reduced.
So for me to get a bachelor degree it would take me 8 years, and it would cost me allot of money. Not only in student loans, but because I am unable to work at this time. Poor student doesn't do it the explanation justice.
The other problem is that a bachleor degree in Psych or English, would allow me to work at Starbuck. As I am resently married, I want a to profide, I want a home, I want a dental plan, I want car insurance etc.
So I changed schools and I thought maybe a trade program. I researched, and did all the required pre-tests. I got registered and went on the waiting list. Then I started BCIT Framing & Forming. This would give me a 2nd year Carpenter apprentice degree. Allowing me to go out and start making some real money.
This would be a 6 month course. Two semesters of three months each. BCIT has a different kind of teaching and learning which would be a little easier for me to learn. Instead a broad amount of information spread out and then a test every two weeks or monthly. They do what is called Brick Learning. So you learn something today. You go home and study it, you review it the next day and have a test. Then you through it away, and you learn something new, go home and study. Next morning you have a review and a test.
This seemed to suite me very well, for my ability to retain information is incredibly challenged since my accident. I was getting 75% to 80% percent on my daily tests.
Then came the semester final. There was some confusion about how I take my test. To help deal with my Aphasia. (I won't go into a description of Aphasia but if you know what it is, you probably smiled when you saw that BCIT disabilities way of dealing with it was a dictionary). Long story short, my final grade was down to 35%. BCIT requires a minimum of 70% to graduate.
I got a little upset because of the disability testing process, but that's another blog altogether. So there way of dealing with my greatly reduced mark was to allow me a retake.
Sounds great but as they were informed of my disability, and my requirements, more than a year in advance, they were instructed with my specific needs. There way of doing the retest would be two weeks later. In the mean time I would continue in the next semester. So I would still have to take in new information, have twice weekly tests, and still study for the last semester.
That combined with another brain fart. I nearly collapsed in class one day. My brain shut down to what reminded me of right after my accident. I was confused, I couldn't find my internal GPS, I had no sense of who I was, where I was. Completely disoriented. I manged to find my way to my Dr's Office and another long story short. After a Sleep deprived EEG, I got a medical leave of absence.
So as I right this, I have gone back to the Running Room. All the people in my life have informed me the last time I was happy was when I was working at the Running Room and Training. So here I am now $16,000.00 in student loan debt and no degree.
I am now attempting to receive some of my funding back from BCIT, and see what I can about my student loans. The Running Room does not pay allot of money, so on top of Rent, credit cards, electrical, and hydro. I don't have allot of money. With Mandy still in school. It will be a fun couple of years.
On the upside I may be broke but I will be happier, and I will be able to train for Ironman full strength now.
I guess this is next chapter of living with brain injury.
In order for me to succeed at school. I take what is called High Needs Part Time Student Loans. These allow me to go school part time, with full time student loans. The idea that because I require extra time to process, study, respond, and digest information. I am also unable to work while taking courses. This is quite a change for a guy that pre-injury could be at work on the phone, surfing the web, talking to a co-worker and still stay on top of everything. My reduced multi-tasking skill have been greatly reduced.
So for me to get a bachelor degree it would take me 8 years, and it would cost me allot of money. Not only in student loans, but because I am unable to work at this time. Poor student doesn't do it the explanation justice.
The other problem is that a bachleor degree in Psych or English, would allow me to work at Starbuck. As I am resently married, I want a to profide, I want a home, I want a dental plan, I want car insurance etc.
So I changed schools and I thought maybe a trade program. I researched, and did all the required pre-tests. I got registered and went on the waiting list. Then I started BCIT Framing & Forming. This would give me a 2nd year Carpenter apprentice degree. Allowing me to go out and start making some real money.
This would be a 6 month course. Two semesters of three months each. BCIT has a different kind of teaching and learning which would be a little easier for me to learn. Instead a broad amount of information spread out and then a test every two weeks or monthly. They do what is called Brick Learning. So you learn something today. You go home and study it, you review it the next day and have a test. Then you through it away, and you learn something new, go home and study. Next morning you have a review and a test.
This seemed to suite me very well, for my ability to retain information is incredibly challenged since my accident. I was getting 75% to 80% percent on my daily tests.
Then came the semester final. There was some confusion about how I take my test. To help deal with my Aphasia. (I won't go into a description of Aphasia but if you know what it is, you probably smiled when you saw that BCIT disabilities way of dealing with it was a dictionary). Long story short, my final grade was down to 35%. BCIT requires a minimum of 70% to graduate.
I got a little upset because of the disability testing process, but that's another blog altogether. So there way of dealing with my greatly reduced mark was to allow me a retake.
Sounds great but as they were informed of my disability, and my requirements, more than a year in advance, they were instructed with my specific needs. There way of doing the retest would be two weeks later. In the mean time I would continue in the next semester. So I would still have to take in new information, have twice weekly tests, and still study for the last semester.
That combined with another brain fart. I nearly collapsed in class one day. My brain shut down to what reminded me of right after my accident. I was confused, I couldn't find my internal GPS, I had no sense of who I was, where I was. Completely disoriented. I manged to find my way to my Dr's Office and another long story short. After a Sleep deprived EEG, I got a medical leave of absence.
So as I right this, I have gone back to the Running Room. All the people in my life have informed me the last time I was happy was when I was working at the Running Room and Training. So here I am now $16,000.00 in student loan debt and no degree.
I am now attempting to receive some of my funding back from BCIT, and see what I can about my student loans. The Running Room does not pay allot of money, so on top of Rent, credit cards, electrical, and hydro. I don't have allot of money. With Mandy still in school. It will be a fun couple of years.
On the upside I may be broke but I will be happier, and I will be able to train for Ironman full strength now.
I guess this is next chapter of living with brain injury.
Monday, December 15, 2008
TBI and Depression/Anxiety
Ok so since my last posting allot of things have happened. I got married and I started BCIT for a Carpentry training program. While my marriage is good, advanced education is too much for me. I find the rate of information coming in to fast. While I get allot of support like, extended test time, there is no support for extended presentation of information. Our advanced education system does not make that possible. I would need to take a course 3-4 times to pass. I can’t afford that.
I can honestly say I have worked really hard. I was up so early in the morning. I was in class or the shop all day. I was at home studying and then getting ready for the next day. I was not allot of fun, and I had to cut down on training, social activities, and anything that didn’t have to do with school.
While I failed the semester final, I was allowed to retake it 11 days later, but I also had to keep attending class, I had new bi-weekly tests, and I had to study for the previous semester. There was not enough time. I was overcome with anxiety and the pressure to do all of it within the time period. I then sank into a pretty deep depression.
The hardest part of my disability is admitting it. I hate being disabled. I hate not being able to remember. I struggle very hard with the acceptance of it, every day.
On my bad days I am very tired of being disabled. I get tired of explaining my disability. On good days I have come so far, I have so hard. I can do anything. It is an extreme difference. I just want to wake up and be normal again. Go back to what I was.
I am now looking for a way to learn at my own pace, something that will allow me to be a provider for my family above minimum wage. I am going to attempt to work at the Running Room again, deal with the anxiety and depression as well as I can. I will not stop, I will keep looking forward. I will succeed. I just don’t know what success looks like.
So I will start my Penticton Ironman training in earnest.
I can honestly say I have worked really hard. I was up so early in the morning. I was in class or the shop all day. I was at home studying and then getting ready for the next day. I was not allot of fun, and I had to cut down on training, social activities, and anything that didn’t have to do with school.
While I failed the semester final, I was allowed to retake it 11 days later, but I also had to keep attending class, I had new bi-weekly tests, and I had to study for the previous semester. There was not enough time. I was overcome with anxiety and the pressure to do all of it within the time period. I then sank into a pretty deep depression.
The hardest part of my disability is admitting it. I hate being disabled. I hate not being able to remember. I struggle very hard with the acceptance of it, every day.
On my bad days I am very tired of being disabled. I get tired of explaining my disability. On good days I have come so far, I have so hard. I can do anything. It is an extreme difference. I just want to wake up and be normal again. Go back to what I was.
I am now looking for a way to learn at my own pace, something that will allow me to be a provider for my family above minimum wage. I am going to attempt to work at the Running Room again, deal with the anxiety and depression as well as I can. I will not stop, I will keep looking forward. I will succeed. I just don’t know what success looks like.
So I will start my Penticton Ironman training in earnest.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
My Wedding Suit, and Video Game Stag Party
This is the first really nice suit I have ever owned. It was purchased at Holt Renfrew and cost the same as a down payment on a house. It was altered to fit me perfectly. I apparently have huge thighs from my biking.
The Video Game Stag Party is tonight. It's going to be me, my best man, my friends, parents and a few other people all chilling at my friends place. I am bringing my Chair, my HD Screen, my Xbox 360 and my Steering wheel. My Best Man is bringing Rock Band, Dance Dance Revolution, and a Wii. The house we are going to already has a HD big screen and PlayStation 3. So this going to be three consoles going at the same time in the same room. With lot's of accessories, gone are the days of Stag party Strippers/Bars. We are going to order Pizza and Sushi, I am really looking forward to it.
Can't wait for the wedding to be over though. Way to much drama, to much stress, not enough payoff for you investment. I mean Mandy is worth the whole world. Don't get me wrong. I would recommend eloping to Vegas, tell people about it when you get back, save your money for a house.
That is all.
Cheers
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Peak Center Training for Penticton Ironman 2009
This is my first attempt at Video Blogging. Mandy got me a new Handy-Cam as a pre-wedding gift. So I am able to record the wedding and my training. I started my workouts at Peak Center for Human Performance. Man I love that place, I blogged about it earlier. I got the first months' workout plans. They include my Run and Bike, and workout in detail. They include at what points during the run or bike, I should be picking it up to which zone. When they took my blood samples during the initial assessment, they were able to advice me what each setting in my Garmin is. So I get to input the Data to my Garmin. I want to run in zone 1 for 10 minutes, then zone 3 for 20 minutes, then back to zone 1 to taper down for 15 minutes. My zone 1 is about the pace I use when I do a long, slow run. Most runners know what I am talking about. But to figure out what zone 3 was, was a little harder. Basically it's not a full out sprint, but it's uncomfortable. Hard to talk, but I can maintain the tempo for as long as I can. My little Garmin will yell at me if I slow down, or speed up. Very cool for the traumatically injured brain people of the world, Or even the normal people of the world who don't have the time on top of school, work, crack smoking and hookers to do a detailed Ironman training plan. I have not posted the information because I want to make sure legally I can. So join me as I count down until the 2009 Penticton Ironman. With my wedding, school, and the all encompassing brain injury. Let's see where this goes!!
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Microsoft Zune; Peak Center, and The 2009 Penticton Ironman
I got to meet two awesome people from Microsoft last weekend. We got to meet Sue and Tony, what really great people. You guys rock!!They came to Vancouver, from Toronto, to interview me about my use of technology after my accident.
This all started with my winning story about how I use Outlook as my memory. This is the link to the story. http://www.microsoft.com/canada/home/amazingstories/summerlovin.aspx#1
This story won me a HP laptop, Vista Ultimate, a Webcam, Office 2007, and a whole bunch of other software. I have blogged about this before.
When we met downtown Vancouver we went down near Stanley Park and I explained how technology helps me with my memory loss. On top of a great dinner, they gave me a 4 GB Zune.
I love the Zune. The first thing I did was sync it at home. I have added it to my network at home. I downloaded the Zune software and did the expected updates. What was really neat was it found all my friends. It also set's wirelessly to my PC. So I have a Triathlon Podcast and I was able to download it. Unlike my IPod it syncs without having to connect it to my computer.
The Zune also has FM Radio; it's a nice little addition. It's a little smaller than my IPod, and the screen is also made of glass instead of plastic. While I always put a protection cover on things, it is less resistant to scratches.
The software is similar to the IPod that it finds all your songs and files on the computer. I have not found an online movie store yet though. I have only had it for a day or so, and it is very new. I am looking forward to an online store. Apple has done a good job and it will be hard to match. We will see what happens.
I had my second meeting at Speed Theory. I have all my data and I will get weekly updates on my workouts to make sure I am training at the optimal level for me. I also get access to there gym, and a breakdown of how far to run, bike, and workout. I also know exactly how much protein and crabs I burn, and what I need to replace. So I am looking forward to my update this Sunday to start my Training in earnest.
I will be on track for the Ironman.
The wedding is almost here. This has been a roller coaster of preparation. I think I like the Triathlon Training better. It is just me I have to organize. It is hard making everyone happening.
It has been an interesting time since my accident. I have lost some very close friends that don't know how to deal with the new me. Some relationships have gotten closer, but others have been slowly dying. My Best man has informed me less than a month before the wedding he is not coming.
Apparently everyone else knew about this but me. So that sucks, he was one of my best friends and we were really close. So yeah, I don't know after my accident I learned that what matters wasn’t an extra hour at work, wasn’t getting that promotion. It was my family, my friends and what else I did with my life. I am a person who works to live, not lives to work.
Still it's hard loosing friends though, while I understand things change, people move and drift away. You expect them to let you know they won't be at your wedding ya know. I just don't want to get to bitter so that years down the road I am not still angry. As I am sure it really doesn’t affect him. I am sure he is sleeping just fine tonight, while I am still feeling the loss of a friend. People are weird.
Anyway, I have a tone of energy. Things are moving ahead, school starts in September, I have the wedding in August, and I am back in training mode. It's nice.
This all started with my winning story about how I use Outlook as my memory. This is the link to the story. http://www.microsoft.com/canada/home/amazingstories/summerlovin.aspx#1
This story won me a HP laptop, Vista Ultimate, a Webcam, Office 2007, and a whole bunch of other software. I have blogged about this before.
When we met downtown Vancouver we went down near Stanley Park and I explained how technology helps me with my memory loss. On top of a great dinner, they gave me a 4 GB Zune.
I love the Zune. The first thing I did was sync it at home. I have added it to my network at home. I downloaded the Zune software and did the expected updates. What was really neat was it found all my friends. It also set's wirelessly to my PC. So I have a Triathlon Podcast and I was able to download it. Unlike my IPod it syncs without having to connect it to my computer.
The Zune also has FM Radio; it's a nice little addition. It's a little smaller than my IPod, and the screen is also made of glass instead of plastic. While I always put a protection cover on things, it is less resistant to scratches.
The software is similar to the IPod that it finds all your songs and files on the computer. I have not found an online movie store yet though. I have only had it for a day or so, and it is very new. I am looking forward to an online store. Apple has done a good job and it will be hard to match. We will see what happens.
I had my second meeting at Speed Theory. I have all my data and I will get weekly updates on my workouts to make sure I am training at the optimal level for me. I also get access to there gym, and a breakdown of how far to run, bike, and workout. I also know exactly how much protein and crabs I burn, and what I need to replace. So I am looking forward to my update this Sunday to start my Training in earnest.
I will be on track for the Ironman.
The wedding is almost here. This has been a roller coaster of preparation. I think I like the Triathlon Training better. It is just me I have to organize. It is hard making everyone happening.
It has been an interesting time since my accident. I have lost some very close friends that don't know how to deal with the new me. Some relationships have gotten closer, but others have been slowly dying. My Best man has informed me less than a month before the wedding he is not coming.
Apparently everyone else knew about this but me. So that sucks, he was one of my best friends and we were really close. So yeah, I don't know after my accident I learned that what matters wasn’t an extra hour at work, wasn’t getting that promotion. It was my family, my friends and what else I did with my life. I am a person who works to live, not lives to work.
Still it's hard loosing friends though, while I understand things change, people move and drift away. You expect them to let you know they won't be at your wedding ya know. I just don't want to get to bitter so that years down the road I am not still angry. As I am sure it really doesn’t affect him. I am sure he is sleeping just fine tonight, while I am still feeling the loss of a friend. People are weird.
Anyway, I have a tone of energy. Things are moving ahead, school starts in September, I have the wedding in August, and I am back in training mode. It's nice.
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