This is what I drank in training, and the Ironman. Now it's the Goofy Challenge
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Changing the Training Paradigm
So after some weird sicknesses (yes over training was part of it). I am now working on just purely distance. When I am running a marathon a day. I will need to have to have the stamina to run that every day. So I have built up a strong core. I focused on strength training, speed running, and trying to increase my Marathon finish time.
I did this not because I am fast runner. I want to be able run under 5 hours each day for the pure reason that I don't want to run that long every day. I also want to increase my ability to prevent injuries. So the build period is over. I am now just training for the consistent ability to run for 5 or so hours a day.
This is the most boring part of the training as it is just logging a sick amount of hours running. Every day, running, running, running.
I love running outside, I love all the weather types. I actually prefer cold to hot when training. I really like running in storms, and wind, and rain, and even snow. Although I don't like ice. Ice sucks for distance running because of the attention you have put into each step.
Right now however I am running on a treadmill for two reasons. One I am lazy ;') Really I am. I don't want to put on all the layers you need to run in the cold. Not now anyway. It's easy to run to the treadmill and throw in the run. Shorts, shirt, shoes and your good. However outdoors, is all about layering, from my compression closing, to my heat layering, to my water layering, to my water bottles, my keys, my phone, my music, etc. Prep time is huge. So see I am lazy!!
However I hate the treadmill. It's just me staring at the same thing for 30 minutes, to 4 hours. Really boring. Our gym has now put in a couple of TV's so that ad's some distraction.
Although I feel fantastic after running today. I hate being sick.
Untitled by temporallobe at Garmin Connect - Details
I did this not because I am fast runner. I want to be able run under 5 hours each day for the pure reason that I don't want to run that long every day. I also want to increase my ability to prevent injuries. So the build period is over. I am now just training for the consistent ability to run for 5 or so hours a day.
This is the most boring part of the training as it is just logging a sick amount of hours running. Every day, running, running, running.
I love running outside, I love all the weather types. I actually prefer cold to hot when training. I really like running in storms, and wind, and rain, and even snow. Although I don't like ice. Ice sucks for distance running because of the attention you have put into each step.
Right now however I am running on a treadmill for two reasons. One I am lazy ;') Really I am. I don't want to put on all the layers you need to run in the cold. Not now anyway. It's easy to run to the treadmill and throw in the run. Shorts, shirt, shoes and your good. However outdoors, is all about layering, from my compression closing, to my heat layering, to my water layering, to my water bottles, my keys, my phone, my music, etc. Prep time is huge. So see I am lazy!!
However I hate the treadmill. It's just me staring at the same thing for 30 minutes, to 4 hours. Really boring. Our gym has now put in a couple of TV's so that ad's some distraction.
Although I feel fantastic after running today. I hate being sick.
Untitled by temporallobe at Garmin Connect - Details
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Monday, December 06, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Unboxing of the Origin Eon-15 High Performance Laptop
Specs:
LTBB-W860CU EON-15 High Performance Laptop
Customizations:
- Chassis and Primary Display: EON15 platform with 1920 x 1080 15.6" LED Backlit Glossy LCD Screen
- Graphics Card: Single 1GB GDDR3 NVIDIA Quadro FX 2800M (1GB of Total GFX) - Professional Workstation
- Procesor Intel Core i7-940XM Quad-Core Processor Extreme Edition (2.13GHz), 8MB L3 Cache, mPGA-989
- Memory: 8GB Dual-Channel DDR3 SDRAM at 1333MHz - 2 X 4GB
- Hard Drive One: 500GB Seagate Momentus XT 7200rpm SATA 300 Solid State Hybrid Hard Drive
- Optical Drive: 6X Blu-ray Reader/8X DVD+/-R/2.4X +DL Super-Multi Drive with Power DVD 7
- Networking: Intel Centrino Ultimate-N 6300 Wireless dual-band module - Up to 450 Mbps
- Web Camera: Built-in 2.0 Mega pixel Video Camera
- Operating System: Genuine MS Windows 7 Professional 64-Bit Edition
I truly believe in technology. However sometimes the usage of the technology itself is harder than the task we got the electronic to help us with.
However with a GPS, a digital Schedule and calendar on my computer and my phone. I am now able to augment my reduced memory to be able to do things like Marathons, Ironmans, work, be a contributing member of society. However that technology needs be able to be used by someone with reduced mental capacities. That is a massive challenge. Despite the limits and the followers of products. I find Microsoft works really well for me. It's not perfect, however, I am able to upload a video I just made, that I edited and posted online. I am also able to run across the country with enough mental challenges that going to the store to get milk is a challenge. Just imagine what you can do!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
My head is odd!!
So I have a brain injury. Over the years I have come to a certain level of acceptance of this. Today however, I have an interesting running discussion in my head, about my head, to myself, within myself. (I now I am confused to)
Basically it started with. Why do I get the thoughts I get? I don't mean this in an abstract way. I mean after my brain injury my brain no longer sends signals the same way it did before. It's not a good or bad thing, it just is.
So why do I sit here on the way to work with a 30 second sound bite of a conversation I had yesterday that has no meaning? I mean it's a like a broken record that just keeps replaying the same section of a conversation over and over again, in great detail. It's about where to a quality food massage but a qualified and licenced massage.
It's not the details of the conversation, or anything special about the person. In fact that's kind of the point. There is nothing special about the conversation at all. What I find interesting is why does that conversation stay with me in vivid detail? Why does my brain choose to run that memory over and over again?
After my injury I spent approximately a year learning how to learn again. I learned strategies, tips, and focus and attention exercises. I changed my diet I ruled out distractions. I put every bit of my neural energy I had into learning. Less than 10% of the new information would stick. No matter what I did. No matter how hard I studies.
When parts of a class or presentation did stick, my ability to recall it when I needed it was all twisted and distorted. Never would the right information, in the context, at the right time come out. Lots of useless, irrelevant, non-sensible data when I don't require it, none or very little useful/required data when needed. Lots of crap data, when I need gold. Some gold when crap would be a more appropriate use of mental energy. Good Foot massage is a case in point.
I can't remember detail in how to plan a complex staircase, or the math to construct a support beam. Yet I can have an in depth discussion of the time, place location, name of the masseuse I got after the Ironman. I mean right down to the type of cream and the solution he put in the foot soak. It's so weird.
My head is so odd!!
Basically it started with. Why do I get the thoughts I get? I don't mean this in an abstract way. I mean after my brain injury my brain no longer sends signals the same way it did before. It's not a good or bad thing, it just is.
So why do I sit here on the way to work with a 30 second sound bite of a conversation I had yesterday that has no meaning? I mean it's a like a broken record that just keeps replaying the same section of a conversation over and over again, in great detail. It's about where to a quality food massage but a qualified and licenced massage.
It's not the details of the conversation, or anything special about the person. In fact that's kind of the point. There is nothing special about the conversation at all. What I find interesting is why does that conversation stay with me in vivid detail? Why does my brain choose to run that memory over and over again?
After my injury I spent approximately a year learning how to learn again. I learned strategies, tips, and focus and attention exercises. I changed my diet I ruled out distractions. I put every bit of my neural energy I had into learning. Less than 10% of the new information would stick. No matter what I did. No matter how hard I studies.
When parts of a class or presentation did stick, my ability to recall it when I needed it was all twisted and distorted. Never would the right information, in the context, at the right time come out. Lots of useless, irrelevant, non-sensible data when I don't require it, none or very little useful/required data when needed. Lots of crap data, when I need gold. Some gold when crap would be a more appropriate use of mental energy. Good Foot massage is a case in point.
I can't remember detail in how to plan a complex staircase, or the math to construct a support beam. Yet I can have an in depth discussion of the time, place location, name of the masseuse I got after the Ironman. I mean right down to the type of cream and the solution he put in the foot soak. It's so weird.
My head is so odd!!
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Use of Electronic Device While Driving Ticket/Fine
So the other day, May 6th 2010 at 9:02pm to be exact, I got pulled over for using my cell phone while driving on W. Hastings street to pick up my wife. Now this is a well nown drug area and I think the cop was using the "use of an electronic device while driving" to pull me over. He was cool, no big problems with him. He advised me to fight the ticket as he would not show up in court.So the ticket is for $167.00 and I filed a dispute.
While I in no way have an issue with this officer, or the fact that I was using the phone. My issue is this. Yesterday I was driving home and there was a police officer behind me talking on her phone. She was not only talking on her phone, she had it jammed to her head with her shoulder with her left hand as she was entering something into the police computer with her right hand.
This got me thinking, if cell phone use is unsafe for us. Isn't it unsafe for a police officer? Let alone using a computer while talking on the phone? Do they go through specific training to talk on a cell phone, and computer at the same time. Is this course available for other people?
I mean I would take a course if that was offered. Some "learn to drive with distractions" course.
I get the argument that Police offers have to be able to talk on there radio, or use there computer. They need to inform fellow officers and there dispatch of events as they unfold. Totally understand that. I also do agree with the law limiting the use of cell phones while driving. I really do. I just find it curious to watch Police Officers deliberately disobey a law that is a "hot topic" at the moment.
This is just my opinion and it's just a statement. I was obviously a little sensitive after being pulled over. So to see a few days later, a cop laughing on her cell phone jammed with her shoulder and typing on her computer made me think. She was not on her radio (that was on her other shoulder, strapped in) and she appeared to be having a funny talk.
Thoughts
While I in no way have an issue with this officer, or the fact that I was using the phone. My issue is this. Yesterday I was driving home and there was a police officer behind me talking on her phone. She was not only talking on her phone, she had it jammed to her head with her shoulder with her left hand as she was entering something into the police computer with her right hand.
This got me thinking, if cell phone use is unsafe for us. Isn't it unsafe for a police officer? Let alone using a computer while talking on the phone? Do they go through specific training to talk on a cell phone, and computer at the same time. Is this course available for other people?
I mean I would take a course if that was offered. Some "learn to drive with distractions" course.
I get the argument that Police offers have to be able to talk on there radio, or use there computer. They need to inform fellow officers and there dispatch of events as they unfold. Totally understand that. I also do agree with the law limiting the use of cell phones while driving. I really do. I just find it curious to watch Police Officers deliberately disobey a law that is a "hot topic" at the moment.
This is just my opinion and it's just a statement. I was obviously a little sensitive after being pulled over. So to see a few days later, a cop laughing on her cell phone jammed with her shoulder and typing on her computer made me think. She was not on her radio (that was on her other shoulder, strapped in) and she appeared to be having a funny talk.
Thoughts
Friday, December 11, 2009
After my Brain Injury these are 40 things I needed the most
Forty Things I Needed the Most
1) I am not stupid, I am wounded. Please respect me.
2) Come close, speak slowly, and enunciate clearly
3) Repeat yourself – assume I know nothing and start from the beginning, over and over again.
4) Be as patient with me the 20th time you teach me something, as you were the first.
5) Approach me with an open heart and slow you energy down. Take you time
6) Be aware of what you body language and facial expressions are communicating to me.
7) Make eye contact with me. I am in here – come find me. Encourage me.
8) Please don’t raise your voice- I am not deaf, I am wounded.
9) Touch me appropriately and connect with me.
10) Honour the healing power of sleep
11) Protect my energy. No talk radio, TV or nervous visitors! Keep visitation brief (five minutes)
12) Stimulate my brain when I have any energy to learn something new, but know that a small amount may wear me out quickly.
13) Use age-appropriate (toddler) educational toys and books to teach me.
14) Introduce me to the world kinaesthetically. Let me feel everything. (I am an infant again.)
15) Teach me with monkey-see, monkey-do behaviour.
16) Trust that I am trying – Just not with your skill level or on your schedule
17) Ask me multiple choice questions. Avoid Yes/No questions
18) Ask me questions with specific answers. Allow me time to hunt for an answer.
19) Do not assess my cognitive ability by how fast I can think.
20) Handle me gently, as you would handle a newborn.
21) Speak to me directly, not about me to others.
22) Cheer me on. Expect me to recover completely, even if it takes twenty years!
23) Trust that my brain can always continue to learn.
24) Break all actions down into smaller steps of actions.
25) Look for what obstacles prevent me from succeeding on a task
26) Clarify for me what the next level or step is so I know what I am working towards.
27) Remember that I have to be proficient at one level of function before I can move on the next level.
28) Celebrate all of my little successes. They inspire me.
29) Please don’t finish my sentences of me or fill in words I can’t find. I need to work my brain.
30) If I can’t find an old file, make it a point to create a new one.
31) I may want you to think I understand more than I really do
32) Focus on what I can do rather than bemoan what I cannot do.
33) Introduce me to my old life. Don’t assume that because I cannot play like I used to play that I won’t continue to enjoy music or an instrument, etc.
34) Remember that in the absence of some functions, I have gained other abilities
35) Keep me familiar with my family, friends, and loving support. Build a collage wall of cards and photos that I can see. Label them so I can review them.
36) Call in the troops! Create a healing team for me. Send word out to everyone so they can send me love. Keep them abreast of my condition and ask them to do specific things to support me – like visualize me being able to swallow with ease or rocking my body up into a sitting position.
37) Love me for who I am today. Don’t hold me to being the person I was before. I have a different brain now.
38) Be protective of me but do not stand in the way of my progress.
39) Show me old video footage of me doing things to remind me about how I spoke, walked, and gestured.
40) Remember that my medications probably make me feel tired, as well as mask m ability to know what it feels like to be me.
Taken from My Stroke Of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D.
(I highly recommend this book for both the patient and the care takers)
1) I am not stupid, I am wounded. Please respect me.
2) Come close, speak slowly, and enunciate clearly
3) Repeat yourself – assume I know nothing and start from the beginning, over and over again.
4) Be as patient with me the 20th time you teach me something, as you were the first.
5) Approach me with an open heart and slow you energy down. Take you time
6) Be aware of what you body language and facial expressions are communicating to me.
7) Make eye contact with me. I am in here – come find me. Encourage me.
8) Please don’t raise your voice- I am not deaf, I am wounded.
9) Touch me appropriately and connect with me.
10) Honour the healing power of sleep
11) Protect my energy. No talk radio, TV or nervous visitors! Keep visitation brief (five minutes)
12) Stimulate my brain when I have any energy to learn something new, but know that a small amount may wear me out quickly.
13) Use age-appropriate (toddler) educational toys and books to teach me.
14) Introduce me to the world kinaesthetically. Let me feel everything. (I am an infant again.)
15) Teach me with monkey-see, monkey-do behaviour.
16) Trust that I am trying – Just not with your skill level or on your schedule
17) Ask me multiple choice questions. Avoid Yes/No questions
18) Ask me questions with specific answers. Allow me time to hunt for an answer.
19) Do not assess my cognitive ability by how fast I can think.
20) Handle me gently, as you would handle a newborn.
21) Speak to me directly, not about me to others.
22) Cheer me on. Expect me to recover completely, even if it takes twenty years!
23) Trust that my brain can always continue to learn.
24) Break all actions down into smaller steps of actions.
25) Look for what obstacles prevent me from succeeding on a task
26) Clarify for me what the next level or step is so I know what I am working towards.
27) Remember that I have to be proficient at one level of function before I can move on the next level.
28) Celebrate all of my little successes. They inspire me.
29) Please don’t finish my sentences of me or fill in words I can’t find. I need to work my brain.
30) If I can’t find an old file, make it a point to create a new one.
31) I may want you to think I understand more than I really do
32) Focus on what I can do rather than bemoan what I cannot do.
33) Introduce me to my old life. Don’t assume that because I cannot play like I used to play that I won’t continue to enjoy music or an instrument, etc.
34) Remember that in the absence of some functions, I have gained other abilities
35) Keep me familiar with my family, friends, and loving support. Build a collage wall of cards and photos that I can see. Label them so I can review them.
36) Call in the troops! Create a healing team for me. Send word out to everyone so they can send me love. Keep them abreast of my condition and ask them to do specific things to support me – like visualize me being able to swallow with ease or rocking my body up into a sitting position.
37) Love me for who I am today. Don’t hold me to being the person I was before. I have a different brain now.
38) Be protective of me but do not stand in the way of my progress.
39) Show me old video footage of me doing things to remind me about how I spoke, walked, and gestured.
40) Remember that my medications probably make me feel tired, as well as mask m ability to know what it feels like to be me.
Taken from My Stroke Of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D.
(I highly recommend this book for both the patient and the care takers)
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
2010 Goofy Challenge at Disney World
So it has been two weeks today that I finished the Penticton Ironman. A week after getting home I was hit by a cold or a flu and today I started to feel better. So I am starting my Training Plan for the Goofy Challenge. It is a marathon on the Saturday and a half-marathon on the Sunday. Goofy Race and Half Challenge 2010
I will be working more this time around as the training schedule will be less intense than the Ironman training. I still want to push myself as I am going to be seeing how I do on running such great distances back to back. I am planning on running a Marathon a day from one side of Canada to the other in the next year or so.
I am unsure if I should make a new blog for the Goofy Challenge, or just add it to this blog. I think I will do it on this blog.
I will post my workout schedule and if anyone wants to go for a run, just email me. I am going to train for an under 3:00 marathon time and a 2 hour Half time. Thinking that on the Sunday I will be a little sore. If anyone has any training advice let me know.
I will be working more this time around as the training schedule will be less intense than the Ironman training. I still want to push myself as I am going to be seeing how I do on running such great distances back to back. I am planning on running a Marathon a day from one side of Canada to the other in the next year or so.
I am unsure if I should make a new blog for the Goofy Challenge, or just add it to this blog. I think I will do it on this blog.
I will post my workout schedule and if anyone wants to go for a run, just email me. I am going to train for an under 3:00 marathon time and a 2 hour Half time. Thinking that on the Sunday I will be a little sore. If anyone has any training advice let me know.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
I am now an Ironman
On August 29, 2009 in 14:03:04 I became an Ironman. You can see the journey here
http://davidsjourneytoironman.blogspot.com/
It was a great day, and a long way in the making. I would not have been able to do this without a tremendous amount of help. While this blog is not about the Ironman (please see David's Journey to Ironman) it is about my brain injury and the challenges that I face.
The journey had its own unique challenges. Planning the three parts of a triathlon is a challenge to anyone without a brain injury. During my training I moved, faced challenges at school, employment, and got married. Lots of events that are huge life changes happened during training during this time I was lucky enough to have a great trainer from Training Bible Coaching. Carla Hastert was amazing. I owe her so much. She not only took on the challenge of training someone with a brain injury. She did this at no cost. She is the hero. I just did what she told me to do.
I was able to download and upload her workouts to my Garmin’s and then go about my workouts. The runs and bikes worked out pretty good. The only challenge was the swim.
How does someone who doesn’t remember what lap they are on, get in any kind of a quality workout. When we are talking about the 3.8kl distance needed for the Ironman. How does the athlete remember the laps? The drills.
With the Garmin I can put specific workouts in, I can do heart rate, speed drills, cadence drills, time drills, etc. When I am in the water however it is just me.
After many different ideas we found some water proof paper. I right down my specific drills. I.e. free style, kick's with the board, and other drills. I could mark down when I finished a lap, and keep track, so I would not over or under train.
This was a miracle for me. It made the swim for me.
Training for the Ironman is a challenge for anyone. Training with a brain injury brings it own unique challenges. I want others with TBI to know that anything is possible. We can do anything with the right technology, although it is still up to us to put in the work.
The next challenge is the Goofy Challenge. That is a Half Marathon on a Saturday and a Full marathon on the Sunday. I will keep you updated.
http://davidsjourneytoironman.blogspot.com/
It was a great day, and a long way in the making. I would not have been able to do this without a tremendous amount of help. While this blog is not about the Ironman (please see David's Journey to Ironman) it is about my brain injury and the challenges that I face.
The journey had its own unique challenges. Planning the three parts of a triathlon is a challenge to anyone without a brain injury. During my training I moved, faced challenges at school, employment, and got married. Lots of events that are huge life changes happened during training during this time I was lucky enough to have a great trainer from Training Bible Coaching. Carla Hastert was amazing. I owe her so much. She not only took on the challenge of training someone with a brain injury. She did this at no cost. She is the hero. I just did what she told me to do.
I was able to download and upload her workouts to my Garmin’s and then go about my workouts. The runs and bikes worked out pretty good. The only challenge was the swim.
How does someone who doesn’t remember what lap they are on, get in any kind of a quality workout. When we are talking about the 3.8kl distance needed for the Ironman. How does the athlete remember the laps? The drills.
With the Garmin I can put specific workouts in, I can do heart rate, speed drills, cadence drills, time drills, etc. When I am in the water however it is just me.
After many different ideas we found some water proof paper. I right down my specific drills. I.e. free style, kick's with the board, and other drills. I could mark down when I finished a lap, and keep track, so I would not over or under train.
This was a miracle for me. It made the swim for me.
Training for the Ironman is a challenge for anyone. Training with a brain injury brings it own unique challenges. I want others with TBI to know that anything is possible. We can do anything with the right technology, although it is still up to us to put in the work.
The next challenge is the Goofy Challenge. That is a Half Marathon on a Saturday and a Full marathon on the Sunday. I will keep you updated.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Ban cars and make room for bikes
There was some news the other day in Vancouver where I live. They are attempting to close down some roads on a bridge to cars and make room for bikes only. Well bikes and transit. This lead me to this thought process.
What if we banned cars from downtown, or major parts of cities, for several days of the week. Leaving them open to only bikes, buses, and non engine forms of transit. So let's say Sunday's, Monday's are "car" days. All other days, are all other forms of transit (no this doesn't mean motor bikes or scooter's)
In this one simple move we would save on air pollution, we would eliminate traffic issues, and we would save craps load of money on insurance, gas, parking, etc.
On top of that however we could make bikes, shoes, roller blades, etc all more easily accessible to the public. Like a daily rental, or an inexpensive bike such as they have in parts of Europe.
Not only would you save the environment, but you would have another large effect on the population that now has to walk, bike, skate, or run, about town. You would save millions on health care, obesity, lung and heart disease, depression, and a whole world of other medical issues.
If you take Vancouver for instance, you really don't need a car. I bike, skytrain, bus and run everywhere. I live in New Westminster and it takes me 20 minutes to get to Kitsalano where I work. It is the same amount of time as the car. Plus I bike and run some of the distance, depending on my training for the day. So I also save on insurance, gas, parking, car repairs. I loose weight, I feel good, I don't have that huge belly that people that sit all day have.
I can see some of the arguments already. Oh my mother is old she can't walk. Bullshit. I think there is a very small amount of the population that has true medical issues that prevent them from walking or cycling. I think we are a population of lazy ass whiners, who don't want to work for anything, but want to have results like we do.
Another argument would be "well my store needs supplies" then plan them on the days that roads are open. I think we would see a whole new industry open up, from bikes, to attachments to bikes, to all the things that go along with them. Repairs, water bottles, shoes, etc. Let all the people that build cars, make bike and running gear. Why not.
I don't know, random thought of a brain injured guy that doesn't know much.
What if we banned cars from downtown, or major parts of cities, for several days of the week. Leaving them open to only bikes, buses, and non engine forms of transit. So let's say Sunday's, Monday's are "car" days. All other days, are all other forms of transit (no this doesn't mean motor bikes or scooter's)
In this one simple move we would save on air pollution, we would eliminate traffic issues, and we would save craps load of money on insurance, gas, parking, etc.
On top of that however we could make bikes, shoes, roller blades, etc all more easily accessible to the public. Like a daily rental, or an inexpensive bike such as they have in parts of Europe.
Not only would you save the environment, but you would have another large effect on the population that now has to walk, bike, skate, or run, about town. You would save millions on health care, obesity, lung and heart disease, depression, and a whole world of other medical issues.
If you take Vancouver for instance, you really don't need a car. I bike, skytrain, bus and run everywhere. I live in New Westminster and it takes me 20 minutes to get to Kitsalano where I work. It is the same amount of time as the car. Plus I bike and run some of the distance, depending on my training for the day. So I also save on insurance, gas, parking, car repairs. I loose weight, I feel good, I don't have that huge belly that people that sit all day have.
I can see some of the arguments already. Oh my mother is old she can't walk. Bullshit. I think there is a very small amount of the population that has true medical issues that prevent them from walking or cycling. I think we are a population of lazy ass whiners, who don't want to work for anything, but want to have results like we do.
Another argument would be "well my store needs supplies" then plan them on the days that roads are open. I think we would see a whole new industry open up, from bikes, to attachments to bikes, to all the things that go along with them. Repairs, water bottles, shoes, etc. Let all the people that build cars, make bike and running gear. Why not.
I don't know, random thought of a brain injured guy that doesn't know much.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Living with TBI really sucks sometimes
On days like today, or weeks like the last couple weeks, Living with TBI really sucks. I don’t like the fact that I get over stimulated so easy. I can’t cope with multiple things going on at once on a good day. Let alone when there multiple “big” things all happening at once.
The fact that I am training 4-12 hours per day, working, and moving is stressful for most people. Let alone those with a reduced cognitive ability, The moving alone is stressful, when you add the fact that Mandy is in Quebec for the month and that I am doing this by myself. Well it gets to be too much.
I try and cope. I like running, biking and swimming, but even that takes so much effort to prep. A six hour bike ride consists of planning the route, entering in to my GPS so I don’t get lost, making sure I have the right amount of liquids, the right amount of nutrients on the go. I plan the day around the ride and then I have a 30-1hour run after words. I have to have running shoes, running belt, keys, and suntan lotion, everything all set out in advance.
I can handle this on most days, but when I over stimulated my brain is like an old record that keeps skipping. Inside my head I am constantly spinning on the same spot. An example would be. Where I am going? I am going for run after my bike. I need shoes for my run. I go to the closet and I forget why I am there. So I ask myself “where am I going? I am going for a run” I need to get shoes. I go and get shoes only to forget why I am at the closet. This spinning has becoming increased, and on top of the spinning I flood.
Flooding is where I am over stimulated. I am running to many programs at once in my head. I am thinking about money, I am thinking that my landlord has not returned my damage deposit. I am thinking about my wife, I am thinking about my bike and my run. I am thinking I don’t have any money. I get so anxious over not having enough food. That has been the latest freak out. In my head I keep thinking I don’t have enough of the foods I need to train at this level. I keep going to the fridge and making sure it is there. Then I forget and go back and check. Then I realize I am looking for my shoes.
Then a phone call will come that the previous owner did not pay the electrical bill, that New Westminster electrical is coming after the new owners for it. I paid my electrical bill, why do I have to pay his? This was covered by the notary. Where are my shoes?
I made the mistake today to try and set up my wireless connection in the house. That was just an hour of absolute frustration. So I am still not wireless.
I can look at my situation from outside perspective. I consider myself very lucky. I have a home, I have family, and I have food. Hell I am training for an Ironman, I have a job. I have friends. I just get so frustrated at the lack of answers. No one seems to be able to direct me in the right way.
How do I get my damage deposit back? Why is my landlord trying to make me feel guilty for asking for my money back? I mean if I was 24 days late on rent they would let me know right? Shaw owes me money for a bill that was prepaid. They want to offer me a credit, but I don’t want a credit I want the money back. This has been several conversation and phone calls adding up to over four hours in total now. No one seems to be able simply reverse a payment that should not have gone through.
When I was taking my second year Psychology course, I learned a neat terminology called “Daily Hassles” This is a psychological idea that what makes people clime clock towers and kill hundreds of people, or get out of their car and beat someone up in road rage is not some big mental disorder. It is an accumulation of a bunch of little things.
You wake up late for work, and you stub your toe. Then when you take a poop there is no toilet paper. You go to make coffee and realize the milk has gone bad. You argue with your spouse over something stupid. You get a phone call from your boss about something stupid, and you head to your car to see someone has spray painted on it. You get in your car and get stuck in traffic. This on top of the fact that your house might be foreclosed upon, you are worried about your job and you kid didn’t come home last night. Now someone cuts you off and you get out and beat the shit out of them. Daily Hassles. My Daily Hassles are getting really frustrating. I am trying to take it all in stride.
I start to have panic attacks and feelings of being overwhelmed. Then I get pissed off that I having this reaction. It really sucks and I feel like I can’t really talk to anyone about them. I have a bath, I play some video games, or I make something for dinner. I just keep trucking. Hoping if I give it enough time it will pass. Something has to change.
I have just found that the problem keeps compounding. Something else just gets added to the daily stress. Like a friend who doesn’t return a phone call, an acquaintance who doesn’t take responsibility for their actions. A fellow tenant who plays the music or parties until 4 A.M. Running out of money for my swim membership, it all just keeps building. No one thing is a big deal, but put it all together and I start to get into panic mode.
I get tired of everything feeling so "life or death" in importance to my brain. I can't control the way I react. My brain response to stimuli is all out of balance. I react the same way to my missing shoes, as I would a life or death situation. My heart rate goes up, I get a total flight or fight response, my breathing get's laboured and my body starts to react like it will have to flee or fight at any second.
If I have any interaction with someone during this time I don't act normal. They don't understand why I am so agitated and I don't always want to explain it. It just really sucks sometimes. This month has been an absolute overwhelming amount of stimulation. Some good, some bad, but all just to much.
The fact that I am training 4-12 hours per day, working, and moving is stressful for most people. Let alone those with a reduced cognitive ability, The moving alone is stressful, when you add the fact that Mandy is in Quebec for the month and that I am doing this by myself. Well it gets to be too much.
I try and cope. I like running, biking and swimming, but even that takes so much effort to prep. A six hour bike ride consists of planning the route, entering in to my GPS so I don’t get lost, making sure I have the right amount of liquids, the right amount of nutrients on the go. I plan the day around the ride and then I have a 30-1hour run after words. I have to have running shoes, running belt, keys, and suntan lotion, everything all set out in advance.
I can handle this on most days, but when I over stimulated my brain is like an old record that keeps skipping. Inside my head I am constantly spinning on the same spot. An example would be. Where I am going? I am going for run after my bike. I need shoes for my run. I go to the closet and I forget why I am there. So I ask myself “where am I going? I am going for a run” I need to get shoes. I go and get shoes only to forget why I am at the closet. This spinning has becoming increased, and on top of the spinning I flood.
Flooding is where I am over stimulated. I am running to many programs at once in my head. I am thinking about money, I am thinking that my landlord has not returned my damage deposit. I am thinking about my wife, I am thinking about my bike and my run. I am thinking I don’t have any money. I get so anxious over not having enough food. That has been the latest freak out. In my head I keep thinking I don’t have enough of the foods I need to train at this level. I keep going to the fridge and making sure it is there. Then I forget and go back and check. Then I realize I am looking for my shoes.
Then a phone call will come that the previous owner did not pay the electrical bill, that New Westminster electrical is coming after the new owners for it. I paid my electrical bill, why do I have to pay his? This was covered by the notary. Where are my shoes?
I made the mistake today to try and set up my wireless connection in the house. That was just an hour of absolute frustration. So I am still not wireless.
I can look at my situation from outside perspective. I consider myself very lucky. I have a home, I have family, and I have food. Hell I am training for an Ironman, I have a job. I have friends. I just get so frustrated at the lack of answers. No one seems to be able to direct me in the right way.
How do I get my damage deposit back? Why is my landlord trying to make me feel guilty for asking for my money back? I mean if I was 24 days late on rent they would let me know right? Shaw owes me money for a bill that was prepaid. They want to offer me a credit, but I don’t want a credit I want the money back. This has been several conversation and phone calls adding up to over four hours in total now. No one seems to be able simply reverse a payment that should not have gone through.
When I was taking my second year Psychology course, I learned a neat terminology called “Daily Hassles” This is a psychological idea that what makes people clime clock towers and kill hundreds of people, or get out of their car and beat someone up in road rage is not some big mental disorder. It is an accumulation of a bunch of little things.
You wake up late for work, and you stub your toe. Then when you take a poop there is no toilet paper. You go to make coffee and realize the milk has gone bad. You argue with your spouse over something stupid. You get a phone call from your boss about something stupid, and you head to your car to see someone has spray painted on it. You get in your car and get stuck in traffic. This on top of the fact that your house might be foreclosed upon, you are worried about your job and you kid didn’t come home last night. Now someone cuts you off and you get out and beat the shit out of them. Daily Hassles. My Daily Hassles are getting really frustrating. I am trying to take it all in stride.
I start to have panic attacks and feelings of being overwhelmed. Then I get pissed off that I having this reaction. It really sucks and I feel like I can’t really talk to anyone about them. I have a bath, I play some video games, or I make something for dinner. I just keep trucking. Hoping if I give it enough time it will pass. Something has to change.
I have just found that the problem keeps compounding. Something else just gets added to the daily stress. Like a friend who doesn’t return a phone call, an acquaintance who doesn’t take responsibility for their actions. A fellow tenant who plays the music or parties until 4 A.M. Running out of money for my swim membership, it all just keeps building. No one thing is a big deal, but put it all together and I start to get into panic mode.
I get tired of everything feeling so "life or death" in importance to my brain. I can't control the way I react. My brain response to stimuli is all out of balance. I react the same way to my missing shoes, as I would a life or death situation. My heart rate goes up, I get a total flight or fight response, my breathing get's laboured and my body starts to react like it will have to flee or fight at any second.
If I have any interaction with someone during this time I don't act normal. They don't understand why I am so agitated and I don't always want to explain it. It just really sucks sometimes. This month has been an absolute overwhelming amount of stimulation. Some good, some bad, but all just to much.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Have not got my damage deposit back from my Landlord
So it has been 20 Days since I moved out. I have called and I have been excuse after excuse. Things like, "oh my sister does the bookkeeping and she will do it next week". To "we have mailed it, and it should only take 2 days" after I phoned and said I could pick it up.
This is pissing me off, because we left the place emaculate, and we got allong with the landlord really well. At this point I don't know what to do. I can phone again, but they will say the same thing. It will be some excuse.
I think if by Wedensday (22 days later) I will just go and file it with the Landlord Tenancy bord.
I really need my money!!
This is pissing me off, because we left the place emaculate, and we got allong with the landlord really well. At this point I don't know what to do. I can phone again, but they will say the same thing. It will be some excuse.
I think if by Wedensday (22 days later) I will just go and file it with the Landlord Tenancy bord.
I really need my money!!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Cut off by a car while biking
So today I am on epic ride. I have three hours on the bike of hills and drills before a 1:30 run. I am heading down the road in the bike lane. There is a mini van in front of me that decides to do quickly throw it in reverse to park. Right in front of me. I slam on my brakes and my heart starts to pound. I yell at the lady driving and I am lucky I don't fall of my bike.
I get off my bike and yell at the driver. She gives the finger. I tell her she needs to be more carefull and she yells back that I need to be more carefull. She is acting like I did something wrong. She obvouslily doesnt think that nearly killing me is important. I realize that this soccer mom just doesn't get it. I mean this is right in front her Startbucks where she needs to get a venti low fat frappuccinoe before she picks up the kids from some lesson for something.
She gives me the finger and I get back on my bike. Right on the outside of the bike only lane is a female police officer in her car. She saw the whole thing. She makes sure I am not hurt. I let her know there was no impact. That my heart is just racing. I then tell her that the driver gave me the finger and told me to fuck off. She get's out of the car.
It was one of those moments where you wish you had a video camera. How many times have you been cut off, or almost hit and had nothing but attitude from the driver who almost killed you. So this time there was a cop when I needed one. I continued my ride, but I got to see the police officer get out of her car. Pull her belt up and walk to the car that had cut me off.
I have no idea what happened after that but it made my day. The rest of my bike was with a smile.
It doesnt happen every day, it doesnt happen as often as it should. I am just glad that soccer mom had her ass handed to her.
Thank you New Westminster Police officer. I don't know who you are but thank you for being in the right place at the right time.
I get off my bike and yell at the driver. She gives the finger. I tell her she needs to be more carefull and she yells back that I need to be more carefull. She is acting like I did something wrong. She obvouslily doesnt think that nearly killing me is important. I realize that this soccer mom just doesn't get it. I mean this is right in front her Startbucks where she needs to get a venti low fat frappuccinoe before she picks up the kids from some lesson for something.
She gives me the finger and I get back on my bike. Right on the outside of the bike only lane is a female police officer in her car. She saw the whole thing. She makes sure I am not hurt. I let her know there was no impact. That my heart is just racing. I then tell her that the driver gave me the finger and told me to fuck off. She get's out of the car.
It was one of those moments where you wish you had a video camera. How many times have you been cut off, or almost hit and had nothing but attitude from the driver who almost killed you. So this time there was a cop when I needed one. I continued my ride, but I got to see the police officer get out of her car. Pull her belt up and walk to the car that had cut me off.
I have no idea what happened after that but it made my day. The rest of my bike was with a smile.
It doesnt happen every day, it doesnt happen as often as it should. I am just glad that soccer mom had her ass handed to her.
Thank you New Westminster Police officer. I don't know who you are but thank you for being in the right place at the right time.
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