Dave has a blog

Treadmill by temporallobe at Garmin Connect - Details

2011-01-18T16:03:00.000-08:00

Treadmill by temporallobe at Garmin Connect - Details

Increasing time by temporallobe at Garmin Connect - Details

2011-01-18T12:10:00.000-08:00

Increasing time by temporallobe at Garmin Connect - Details

Changing the Training Paradigm

2010-12-22T15:19:00.000-08:00

So after some weird sicknesses (yes over training was part of it). I am now working on just purely distance. When I am running a marathon a day. I will need to have to have the stamina to run that every day. So I have built up a strong core. I focused on strength training, speed running, and trying to increase my Marathon finish time.

I did this not because I am fast runner. I want to be able run under 5 hours each day for the pure reason that I don't want to run that long every day. I also want to increase my ability to prevent injuries. So the build period is over. I am now just training for the consistent ability to run for 5 or so hours a day.

This is the most boring part of the training as it is just logging a sick amount of hours running. Every day, running, running, running.

I love running outside, I love all the weather types. I actually prefer cold to hot when training. I really like running in storms, and wind, and rain, and even snow. Although I don't like ice. Ice sucks for distance running because of the attention you have put into each step.

Right now however I am running on a treadmill for two reasons. One I am lazy ;') Really I am. I don't want to put on all the layers you need to run in the cold. Not now anyway. It's easy to run to the treadmill and throw in the run. Shorts, shirt, shoes and your good. However outdoors, is all about layering, from my compression closing, to my heat layering, to my water layering, to my water bottles, my keys, my phone, my music, etc. Prep time is huge. So see I am lazy!!

However I hate the treadmill. It's just me staring at the same thing for 30 minutes, to 4 hours. Really boring. Our gym has now put in a couple of TV's so that ad's some distraction.

Although I feel fantastic after running today. I hate being sick.

Untitled by temporallobe at Garmin Connect - Details

FoundationPlan

2010-12-16T15:48:00.000-08:00

LG-E900 Optimus Unboxing

2010-12-06T09:34:00.000-08:00

Unboxing of the Origin Eon-15 High Performance Laptop

2010-11-27T15:52:00.000-08:00

Specs:
LTBB-W860CU EON-15 High Performance Laptop

Customizations:

Chassis and Primary Display: EON15 platform with 1920 x 1080 15.6" LED Backlit Glossy LCD Screen
Graphics Card: Single 1GB GDDR3 NVIDIA Quadro FX 2800M (1GB of Total GFX) - Professional Workstation
Procesor Intel Core i7-940XM Quad-Core Processor Extreme Edition (2.13GHz), 8MB L3 Cache, mPGA-989
Memory: 8GB Dual-Channel DDR3 SDRAM at 1333MHz - 2 X 4GB
Hard Drive One: 500GB Seagate Momentus XT 7200rpm SATA 300 Solid State Hybrid Hard Drive
Optical Drive: 6X Blu-ray Reader/8X DVD+/-R/2.4X +DL Super-Multi Drive with Power DVD 7
Networking: Intel Centrino Ultimate-N 6300 Wireless dual-band module - Up to 450 Mbps
Web Camera: Built-in 2.0 Mega pixel Video Camera
Operating System: Genuine MS Windows 7 Professional 64-Bit Edition

Origin makes Gaming PC's. While I am an avid gamer. I am more of a console gamer. I wanted a laptop to accompany me on the Run to Remember I wanted it to be able to handle all the HD video, photo's, Garmin Data, without so much as a hiccup. I did not want to use my limited cognitive skills with frustrating electronic experiences. I use my laptop as my memory. I use my Windows Phone 7 as my memory when I am the go. So I can't afford a half baked PC.

I truly believe in technology. However sometimes the usage of the technology itself is harder than the task we got the electronic to help us with.

However with a GPS, a digital Schedule and calendar on my computer and my phone. I am now able to augment my reduced memory to be able to do things like Marathons, Ironmans, work, be a contributing member of society. However that technology needs be able to be used by someone with reduced mental capacities. That is a massive challenge. Despite the limits and the followers of products. I find Microsoft works really well for me. It's not perfect, however, I am able to upload a video I just made, that I edited and posted online. I am also able to run across the country with enough mental challenges that going to the store to get milk is a challenge. Just imagine what you can do!

Quick little Jaunt

2010-08-23T18:42:00.000-07:00

Untitled by temporallobe at Garmin Connect - Details

Run around the Quay by temporallobe at Garmin Connect - Details

2010-08-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

Run around the Quay by temporallobe at Garmin Connect - Details

Run after work. Added some Distance by temporallobe at Garmin Connect - Details

2010-08-10T21:29:00.000-07:00

Run after work. Added some Distance by temporallobe at Garmin Connect - Details

My head is odd!!

2010-08-04T21:59:00.000-07:00

So I have a brain injury. Over the years I have come to a certain level of acceptance of this. Today however, I have an interesting running discussion in my head, about my head, to myself, within myself. (I now I am confused to)

Basically it started with. Why do I get the thoughts I get? I don't mean this in an abstract way. I mean after my brain injury my brain no longer sends signals the same way it did before. It's not a good or bad thing, it just is.

So why do I sit here on the way to work with a 30 second sound bite of a conversation I had yesterday that has no meaning? I mean it's a like a broken record that just keeps replaying the same section of a conversation over and over again, in great detail. It's about where to a quality food massage but a qualified and licenced massage.

It's not the details of the conversation, or anything special about the person. In fact that's kind of the point. There is nothing special about the conversation at all. What I find interesting is why does that conversation stay with me in vivid detail? Why does my brain choose to run that memory over and over again?

After my injury I spent approximately a year learning how to learn again. I learned strategies, tips, and focus and attention exercises. I changed my diet I ruled out distractions. I put every bit of my neural energy I had into learning. Less than 10% of the new information would stick. No matter what I did. No matter how hard I studies.

When parts of a class or presentation did stick, my ability to recall it when I needed it was all twisted and distorted. Never would the right information, in the context, at the right time come out. Lots of useless, irrelevant, non-sensible data when I don't require it, none or very little useful/required data when needed. Lots of crap data, when I need gold. Some gold when crap would be a more appropriate use of mental energy. Good Foot massage is a case in point.

I can't remember detail in how to plan a complex staircase, or the math to construct a support beam. Yet I can have an in depth discussion of the time, place location, name of the masseuse I got after the Ironman. I mean right down to the type of cream and the solution he put in the foot soak. It's so weird.

My head is so odd!!

Dave's Story

2010-06-02T23:01:00.000-07:00

Use of Electronic Device While Driving Ticket/Fine

2010-05-28T10:42:00.000-07:00

So the other day, May 6th 2010 at 9:02pm to be exact, I got pulled over for using my cell phone while driving on W. Hastings street to pick up my wife. Now this is a well nown drug area and I think the cop was using the "use of an electronic device while driving" to pull me over. He was cool, no big problems with him. He advised me to fight the ticket as he would not show up in court.So the ticket is for $167.00 and I filed a dispute.

While I in no way have an issue with this officer, or the fact that I was using the phone. My issue is this. Yesterday I was driving home and there was a police officer behind me talking on her phone. She was not only talking on her phone, she had it jammed to her head with her shoulder with her left hand as she was entering something into the police computer with her right hand.

This got me thinking, if cell phone use is unsafe for us. Isn't it unsafe for a police officer? Let alone using a computer while talking on the phone? Do they go through specific training to talk on a cell phone, and computer at the same time. Is this course available for other people?

I mean I would take a course if that was offered. Some "learn to drive with distractions" course.

I get the argument that Police offers have to be able to talk on there radio, or use there computer. They need to inform fellow officers and there dispatch of events as they unfold. Totally understand that. I also do agree with the law limiting the use of cell phones while driving. I really do. I just find it curious to watch Police Officers deliberately disobey a law that is a "hot topic" at the moment.

This is just my opinion and it's just a statement. I was obviously a little sensitive after being pulled over. So to see a few days later, a cop laughing on her cell phone jammed with her shoulder and typing on her computer made me think. She was not on her radio (that was on her other shoulder, strapped in) and she appeared to be having a funny talk.

Thoughts

After my Brain Injury these are 40 things I needed the most

2009-12-11T09:23:00.000-08:00

Forty Things I Needed the Most

1) I am not stupid, I am wounded. Please respect me.

2) Come close, speak slowly, and enunciate clearly

3) Repeat yourself – assume I know nothing and start from the beginning, over and over again.

4) Be as patient with me the 20th time you teach me something, as you were the first.

5) Approach me with an open heart and slow you energy down. Take you time

6) Be aware of what you body language and facial expressions are communicating to me.

7) Make eye contact with me. I am in here – come find me. Encourage me.

8) Please don’t raise your voice- I am not deaf, I am wounded.

9) Touch me appropriately and connect with me.

10) Honour the healing power of sleep

11) Protect my energy. No talk radio, TV or nervous visitors! Keep visitation brief (five minutes)

12) Stimulate my brain when I have any energy to learn something new, but know that a small amount may wear me out quickly.

13) Use age-appropriate (toddler) educational toys and books to teach me.

14) Introduce me to the world kinaesthetically. Let me feel everything. (I am an infant again.)

15) Teach me with monkey-see, monkey-do behaviour.

16) Trust that I am trying – Just not with your skill level or on your schedule

17) Ask me multiple choice questions. Avoid Yes/No questions

18) Ask me questions with specific answers. Allow me time to hunt for an answer.

19) Do not assess my cognitive ability by how fast I can think.

20) Handle me gently, as you would handle a newborn.

21) Speak to me directly, not about me to others.

22) Cheer me on. Expect me to recover completely, even if it takes twenty years!

23) Trust that my brain can always continue to learn.

24) Break all actions down into smaller steps of actions.

25) Look for what obstacles prevent me from succeeding on a task

26) Clarify for me what the next level or step is so I know what I am working towards.

27) Remember that I have to be proficient at one level of function before I can move on the next level.

28) Celebrate all of my little successes. They inspire me.

29) Please don’t finish my sentences of me or fill in words I can’t find. I need to work my brain.

30) If I can’t find an old file, make it a point to create a new one.

31) I may want you to think I understand more than I really do

32) Focus on what I can do rather than bemoan what I cannot do.

33) Introduce me to my old life. Don’t assume that because I cannot play like I used to play that I won’t continue to enjoy music or an instrument, etc.

34) Remember that in the absence of some functions, I have gained other abilities

35) Keep me familiar with my family, friends, and loving support. Build a collage wall of cards and photos that I can see. Label them so I can review them.

36) Call in the troops! Create a healing team for me. Send word out to everyone so they can send me love. Keep them abreast of my condition and ask them to do specific things to support me – like visualize me being able to swallow with ease or rocking my body up into a sitting position.

37) Love me for who I am today. Don’t hold me to being the person I was before. I have a different brain now.

38) Be protective of me but do not stand in the way of my progress.

39) Show me old video footage of me doing things to remind me about how I spoke, walked, and gestured.

40) Remember that my medications probably make me feel tired, as well as mask m ability to know what it feels like to be me.

Taken from My Stroke Of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D.

(I highly recommend this book for both the patient and the care takers)

POV 1.5 Video Recording Test.

2009-10-08T22:19:00.000-07:00

2010 Goofy Challenge at Disney World

2009-09-13T22:05:00.000-07:00

So it has been two weeks today that I finished the Penticton Ironman. A week after getting home I was hit by a cold or a flu and today I started to feel better. So I am starting my Training Plan for the Goofy Challenge. It is a marathon on the Saturday and a half-marathon on the Sunday. Goofy Race and Half Challenge 2010

I will be working more this time around as the training schedule will be less intense than the Ironman training. I still want to push myself as I am going to be seeing how I do on running such great distances back to back. I am planning on running a Marathon a day from one side of Canada to the other in the next year or so.

I am unsure if I should make a new blog for the Goofy Challenge, or just add it to this blog. I think I will do it on this blog.

I will post my workout schedule and if anyone wants to go for a run, just email me. I am going to train for an under 3:00 marathon time and a 2 hour Half time. Thinking that on the Sunday I will be a little sore. If anyone has any training advice let me know.

I am now an Ironman

2009-09-06T13:40:00.000-07:00

On August 29, 2009 in 14:03:04 I became an Ironman. You can see the journey here

http://davidsjourneytoironman.blogspot.com/

It was a great day, and a long way in the making. I would not have been able to do this without a tremendous amount of help. While this blog is not about the Ironman (please see David's Journey to Ironman) it is about my brain injury and the challenges that I face.

The journey had its own unique challenges. Planning the three parts of a triathlon is a challenge to anyone without a brain injury. During my training I moved, faced challenges at school, employment, and got married. Lots of events that are huge life changes happened during training during this time I was lucky enough to have a great trainer from Training Bible Coaching. Carla Hastert was amazing. I owe her so much. She not only took on the challenge of training someone with a brain injury. She did this at no cost. She is the hero. I just did what she told me to do.

I was able to download and upload her workouts to my Garmin’s and then go about my workouts. The runs and bikes worked out pretty good. The only challenge was the swim.

How does someone who doesn’t remember what lap they are on, get in any kind of a quality workout. When we are talking about the 3.8kl distance needed for the Ironman. How does the athlete remember the laps? The drills.

With the Garmin I can put specific workouts in, I can do heart rate, speed drills, cadence drills, time drills, etc. When I am in the water however it is just me.

After many different ideas we found some water proof paper. I right down my specific drills. I.e. free style, kick's with the board, and other drills. I could mark down when I finished a lap, and keep track, so I would not over or under train.

This was a miracle for me. It made the swim for me.

Training for the Ironman is a challenge for anyone. Training with a brain injury brings it own unique challenges. I want others with TBI to know that anything is possible. We can do anything with the right technology, although it is still up to us to put in the work.

The next challenge is the Goofy Challenge. That is a Half Marathon on a Saturday and a Full marathon on the Sunday. I will keep you updated.

Ban cars and make room for bikes

2009-08-01T12:05:00.000-07:00

There was some news the other day in Vancouver where I live. They are attempting to close down some roads on a bridge to cars and make room for bikes only. Well bikes and transit. This lead me to this thought process.

What if we banned cars from downtown, or major parts of cities, for several days of the week. Leaving them open to only bikes, buses, and non engine forms of transit. So let's say Sunday's, Monday's are "car" days. All other days, are all other forms of transit (no this doesn't mean motor bikes or scooter's)

In this one simple move we would save on air pollution, we would eliminate traffic issues, and we would save craps load of money on insurance, gas, parking, etc.

On top of that however we could make bikes, shoes, roller blades, etc all more easily accessible to the public. Like a daily rental, or an inexpensive bike such as they have in parts of Europe.

Not only would you save the environment, but you would have another large effect on the population that now has to walk, bike, skate, or run, about town. You would save millions on health care, obesity, lung and heart disease, depression, and a whole world of other medical issues.

If you take Vancouver for instance, you really don't need a car. I bike, skytrain, bus and run everywhere. I live in New Westminster and it takes me 20 minutes to get to Kitsalano where I work. It is the same amount of time as the car. Plus I bike and run some of the distance, depending on my training for the day. So I also save on insurance, gas, parking, car repairs. I loose weight, I feel good, I don't have that huge belly that people that sit all day have.

I can see some of the arguments already. Oh my mother is old she can't walk. Bullshit. I think there is a very small amount of the population that has true medical issues that prevent them from walking or cycling. I think we are a population of lazy ass whiners, who don't want to work for anything, but want to have results like we do.

Another argument would be "well my store needs supplies" then plan them on the days that roads are open. I think we would see a whole new industry open up, from bikes, to attachments to bikes, to all the things that go along with them. Repairs, water bottles, shoes, etc. Let all the people that build cars, make bike and running gear. Why not.

I don't know, random thought of a brain injured guy that doesn't know much.

Living with TBI really sucks sometimes

2009-07-24T21:55:00.000-07:00

On days like today, or weeks like the last couple weeks, Living with TBI really sucks. I don’t like the fact that I get over stimulated so easy. I can’t cope with multiple things going on at once on a good day. Let alone when there multiple “big” things all happening at once.

The fact that I am training 4-12 hours per day, working, and moving is stressful for most people. Let alone those with a reduced cognitive ability, The moving alone is stressful, when you add the fact that Mandy is in Quebec for the month and that I am doing this by myself. Well it gets to be too much.

I try and cope. I like running, biking and swimming, but even that takes so much effort to prep. A six hour bike ride consists of planning the route, entering in to my GPS so I don’t get lost, making sure I have the right amount of liquids, the right amount of nutrients on the go. I plan the day around the ride and then I have a 30-1hour run after words. I have to have running shoes, running belt, keys, and suntan lotion, everything all set out in advance.

I can handle this on most days, but when I over stimulated my brain is like an old record that keeps skipping. Inside my head I am constantly spinning on the same spot. An example would be. Where I am going? I am going for run after my bike. I need shoes for my run. I go to the closet and I forget why I am there. So I ask myself “where am I going? I am going for a run” I need to get shoes. I go and get shoes only to forget why I am at the closet. This spinning has becoming increased, and on top of the spinning I flood.

Flooding is where I am over stimulated. I am running to many programs at once in my head. I am thinking about money, I am thinking that my landlord has not returned my damage deposit. I am thinking about my wife, I am thinking about my bike and my run. I am thinking I don’t have any money. I get so anxious over not having enough food. That has been the latest freak out. In my head I keep thinking I don’t have enough of the foods I need to train at this level. I keep going to the fridge and making sure it is there. Then I forget and go back and check. Then I realize I am looking for my shoes.

Then a phone call will come that the previous owner did not pay the electrical bill, that New Westminster electrical is coming after the new owners for it. I paid my electrical bill, why do I have to pay his? This was covered by the notary. Where are my shoes?

I made the mistake today to try and set up my wireless connection in the house. That was just an hour of absolute frustration. So I am still not wireless.

I can look at my situation from outside perspective. I consider myself very lucky. I have a home, I have family, and I have food. Hell I am training for an Ironman, I have a job. I have friends. I just get so frustrated at the lack of answers. No one seems to be able to direct me in the right way.

How do I get my damage deposit back? Why is my landlord trying to make me feel guilty for asking for my money back? I mean if I was 24 days late on rent they would let me know right? Shaw owes me money for a bill that was prepaid. They want to offer me a credit, but I don’t want a credit I want the money back. This has been several conversation and phone calls adding up to over four hours in total now. No one seems to be able simply reverse a payment that should not have gone through.
When I was taking my second year Psychology course, I learned a neat terminology called “Daily Hassles” This is a psychological idea that what makes people clime clock towers and kill hundreds of people, or get out of their car and beat someone up in road rage is not some big mental disorder. It is an accumulation of a bunch of little things.

You wake up late for work, and you stub your toe. Then when you take a poop there is no toilet paper. You go to make coffee and realize the milk has gone bad. You argue with your spouse over something stupid. You get a phone call from your boss about something stupid, and you head to your car to see someone has spray painted on it. You get in your car and get stuck in traffic. This on top of the fact that your house might be foreclosed upon, you are worried about your job and you kid didn’t come home last night. Now someone cuts you off and you get out and beat the shit out of them. Daily Hassles. My Daily Hassles are getting really frustrating. I am trying to take it all in stride.

I start to have panic attacks and feelings of being overwhelmed. Then I get pissed off that I having this reaction. It really sucks and I feel like I can’t really talk to anyone about them. I have a bath, I play some video games, or I make something for dinner. I just keep trucking. Hoping if I give it enough time it will pass. Something has to change.

I have just found that the problem keeps compounding. Something else just gets added to the daily stress. Like a friend who doesn’t return a phone call, an acquaintance who doesn’t take responsibility for their actions. A fellow tenant who plays the music or parties until 4 A.M. Running out of money for my swim membership, it all just keeps building. No one thing is a big deal, but put it all together and I start to get into panic mode.

I get tired of everything feeling so "life or death" in importance to my brain. I can't control the way I react. My brain response to stimuli is all out of balance. I react the same way to my missing shoes, as I would a life or death situation. My heart rate goes up, I get a total flight or fight response, my breathing get's laboured and my body starts to react like it will have to flee or fight at any second.

If I have any interaction with someone during this time I don't act normal. They don't understand why I am so agitated and I don't always want to explain it. It just really sucks sometimes. This month has been an absolute overwhelming amount of stimulation. Some good, some bad, but all just to much.

Have not got my damage deposit back from my Landlord

2009-07-20T19:27:00.000-07:00

So it has been 20 Days since I moved out. I have called and I have been excuse after excuse. Things like, "oh my sister does the bookkeeping and she will do it next week". To "we have mailed it, and it should only take 2 days" after I phoned and said I could pick it up.

This is pissing me off, because we left the place emaculate, and we got allong with the landlord really well. At this point I don't know what to do. I can phone again, but they will say the same thing. It will be some excuse.

I think if by Wedensday (22 days later) I will just go and file it with the Landlord Tenancy bord.

I really need my money!!

Cut off by a car while biking

2009-07-10T00:49:00.000-07:00

So today I am on epic ride. I have three hours on the bike of hills and drills before a 1:30 run. I am heading down the road in the bike lane. There is a mini van in front of me that decides to do quickly throw it in reverse to park. Right in front of me. I slam on my brakes and my heart starts to pound. I yell at the lady driving and I am lucky I don't fall of my bike.

I get off my bike and yell at the driver. She gives the finger. I tell her she needs to be more carefull and she yells back that I need to be more carefull. She is acting like I did something wrong. She obvouslily doesnt think that nearly killing me is important. I realize that this soccer mom just doesn't get it. I mean this is right in front her Startbucks where she needs to get a venti low fat frappuccinoe before she picks up the kids from some lesson for something.

She gives me the finger and I get back on my bike. Right on the outside of the bike only lane is a female police officer in her car. She saw the whole thing. She makes sure I am not hurt. I let her know there was no impact. That my heart is just racing. I then tell her that the driver gave me the finger and told me to fuck off. She get's out of the car.

It was one of those moments where you wish you had a video camera. How many times have you been cut off, or almost hit and had nothing but attitude from the driver who almost killed you. So this time there was a cop when I needed one. I continued my ride, but I got to see the police officer get out of her car. Pull her belt up and walk to the car that had cut me off.

I have no idea what happened after that but it made my day. The rest of my bike was with a smile.

It doesnt happen every day, it doesnt happen as often as it should. I am just glad that soccer mom had her ass handed to her.

Thank you New Westminster Police officer. I don't know who you are but thank you for being in the right place at the right time.

GF Strong Attention Program

2009-06-11T23:16:00.000-07:00

So today was my first session at GF Strong. I was there with a couple of other people that have survived TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). We went through some attention drills and some tasks that help work the brain. The way I look at it is that I work my body with my Running, Swimming and Biking. So these are workouts for the brain.

What was really awesome was that I got to meet some people that are or have gone down the same road as I have. It was nice to talk to people that have the same struggles. I am looking forward to the 32 week program.

I will keep you up to date on my progress and any growth or improvements I notice. Check out GF Strong http://www.vch.ca/

Can't sleep

2009-06-01T23:02:00.000-07:00

So I am feeling way better. Training is going well, and I am back in my grove. I have been having a real hard time sleeping for the last few days. It's been so hot.

My new diet is going ok, nothing but raw foods. A little bit of an adjustment. I am eating more meals.

That's about it. Broke, tired, can't sleep, and it is really hot. Wait I already said that.

Ok back to bed. If my neighbors would shut up. Problem with the heat is the windows are all open and people sit on there deck. Dick heads smokin a joint and making coments they find really funny, but aren't. So hot!!

Sleep deprived.

Cancelling my Xbox Live Account

2009-04-23T11:16:00.000-07:00

You know times are hard when you start reducing your TV channels, your Xbox Live account, and start sending less txt msg's and look for a cheaper Cell phone contract.

I was a little sad when I contacted Xbox to not automatically renew my subscription. It is sad because I have friends online. I mean these are people I will never meat, but they are people I raced with, I shot with, I sniped with or I killed. Oh the Killing!!

I found it interesting that I was actually a little bit upset. I got a little sad. I look forward to the day when I go back to my online community, my friends. So I can kick there ass in Grand Theft Auto!!

So goodbye teammates, goodbye enemies. I hope to see you soon.

Today is a bad day.

2009-04-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

Today is a bad day. I find myself pushing my limits physically, mentally, socially, but I just can’t seem to get anywhere. Since my accident, I have learned how to walk and talk again. I have taken a first aid course and passed. I went back to adult education and passed the math and English. I made an attempt to go back to work and passed. I started to live on my own and succeeded. I enrolled in college and did well first year. Second year I did not do as well. So I changed my major. I tried a trade school, and that did not go well. So I went back to retail job.
I was ok with this. I could put myself into the job because I believed in the company. Unfortunately the demands of a fast paste store, and a boss who was very demanding and was supportive as long as she didn’t have to do any extra work. Well that didn’t go well. My hours were reduced to 4 hours once a week. So I went to another store to work.
I know work more hours at a higher wage. I work with a great boss, and a very understanding family. I push myself every day to bring something to the table. I so very grateful for all they do for me and my wife; especially in this economic time. I just can’t help but feel there is something more to life than working two days a week.
I push myself into my training; I see the Ironman and my Marathons as some sort of answer to my cognitive functions. Maybe if I can run far enough, swim fast enough, bike somewhere other than hear. I can find something more fulfilling to live.
Today is a hard day. I am financially hurting, I am feeling setbacks. My student loans have come due. I tried to open a bank account with an over draft, but was declined because of note on my credit report. I contacted Equifax and there is still a bad record from when I was in the Hospital. This was when I was on long term disability before my stroke (after my first mini stroke that had gone undiagnosed) I had contacted the credit report companies and made a note on my record. I advised them I was late on my payments because I was in a coma. I had to threaten my company with a lawsuit to get my lost wages, and when I got my money I paid off all my creditors.
It’s not a big deal, I don’t really care, and maybe I am just looking for something to fight. I don’t know. I just want to work somewhere that is challenging and rewarding. Without being talked down to, yelled at, made to feel inferior. I don’t know what else to do anymore. I am not biking today, I am going to sit down and play some video games instead.
I have gone to my Dr. I have gone to the Government, I have contacted media, I have yelled and screamed at anyone that would listen to me. There is no follow through, there is no contact. The ministry just constantly puts up road blocks for me. I get treated like I am trying to take something from them; when all I want to do is work.
Today is a bad day. Tomorrow will be better. I am going to close the computer and play some video games. Try to not to dwell. Benefits of a memory problem is I will soon forget how bad things are; until I am reminded once again. I just want to run...........run for ever.

NSF Fee complaint to RBC Royal Bank

2009-04-07T15:40:00.000-07:00

Below is my complaint letter I sent in to RBC Royal Bank. For a $40.00 NSF charge.

My Name is David McGuire. I would like to make a complaint about an NSF
Charge in my account; specifically the cheque # 247 on April 2nd 2009 in
the amount of $500.00 This check was for my rent for the month of April. I
had recently started a new job and I was getting adjusted to my change in
pay schedules. I check my accounts multiple times each day, and I saw my
check went through, but it go over my overdraft limit.

I immediately called RBC Customer service operator named Dan, who said
"the cheque has gone through. If it hasn't been returned then you are OK, just
make sure you deposits before 6:00 pm to make sure".

So I phoned my Fiance who works right next to an RBC. I asked if I can
borrow some money until I get paid (less than a week) and I emphasized
what Dan said about getting in before 6:00pm. She is working but could meet
me at 5:30. She works just one business down from the RBC branch on
Broadway & Granville 1497 W Broadway Vancouver, BC.

I am about two hours away, and Mandy can't meet me until 5:30pm. So I make
sure I am at her place early. I get to her work, she gives me a cheque. It
is a cheque made to her, and she signs the back of it.

I run to the RBC just a store away. I stand in line for over 15 minutes. I
get to the cashier and let her know I want to deposit. She states that she
needs to see Mandy before she can deposit the cheque. I inform her of the
urgency, that Mandy has written me cheques before. That if I deposit
thought the ATM it would be accepted. She refuses.

It is now 5:55pm. I ask to speak to someone above her. Another female comes out who is really rude.

She throws the cheque on the counter and says, "how do I know this is
really Mandy'? I ask "what" So she says louder and much slower, like she is
talking to a child
"HOW........DO........I.........KNOW............YOU.........DIDNT........JU
ST.........FIND...........THIS...........CHEQUE?"

"are you saying that I forged a cheque"?

"How do I know this is Mandy"

I am now frustrated, the two ladies are looking at me like I am a thief,
treating me like I am trying to get away something. I phone Mandy.
"Get over here now"

I tell the two ladies that Mandy is on her way

"well we are closed now, you will have to come back tomorrow"

"I looked it is exactly 6:00pm"

There are still customers in the line behind me. I say

"no you will wait, I came all the way to do this, you will make sure
this happens because I am trying to avoid an NSF charge for me and
landlord"

Now keep in my mind, I have a traumatic brain injury. I respond to
stimulation differently than other people do. I have a slow reaction time.
For this "manager" to start talking down to me, I took as an insult. She
has no idea what I have been through. That I was never supposed to walk and
talk again, that I am training for an Ironman, that I work so hard every
day for all the things people take for granted.

Mandy is there at 6:03. She shows her ID, She has a bank account there. She
is also the bookkeeper for her company Aliki Gladwin and Associates. This
company is an interior design company that has worked for RBC, many times. They have worked on some of there buildings, and done the designs for them.

This doesn't stop the teller from making this statement

"if you make sure you have the money in the account you won't bounce cheques"

I just look at her. This wasn't done on purpose; I don't need a lecture from teller at the bank.

We were treated like we were scammers and dead beats. I am obviously trying everything I can to save both myself and my landlord fee's here. I
am aware of the situation, in fact I am the one that contacted you, not the
other way around. I am not running from my responsibility I am standing
here trying to resolve it before it happens.

What adds to my frustration is that I got no understanding. You see I am a
person with a disability. I was actually an employee of RBC in 2005 when I
had a stroke at work. I was in a coma and intensive care for 29 days. I
spent over a year in recovery. Learning how to walk and talk again.
Everything had to be relearned. As a result of my Traumatic Brain Injury I
know longer make new memories. Every day when I wake up, I have no memory
of the previous day. This puts an intense amount of stress upon me.

Despite my Short Term Memory Loss, and my Aphasia, I have gone back
to school, I have finished a Marathon, I am currently training for the
Penticton Ironman in 2009, and I hold a job.

I have submitted my issues with my disability, seeking a lower rate account
to RBC. I live off of a disability income and a settlement I got from RBC
when they terminated me while in the hospital (that took the threat of a
lawsuit however) I have dealt with Manulife, I have dealt with Short and
long term disability income with RBC. In fact the only other time I ever
was late on a bill was when I was an employee at RBC in the collections
department. I was going through the transition from short to long term
disability. I received no cheque do to Manulife. I was ultimately refunded
for any charges.

So not only do you not have accounts for people on fixed incomes, you then
charge me an NSF fee when I took every step to resolve this issue. But for
the fact that this cashier took her time, but for the fact that I went to
the teller instead of the ATM machine (I thought it faster to go to the
till) I would not have been charged this.

Where the funds in my account on the moment of the deposit, Now, but as
soon as I realised I phoned RBC and talked to Dan. I then literally ran to
my fiance's work, then to the branch. I deposited enough to cover and
cleared that with the teller. Low and behold I get home that night, and the
cheque comes back.

This letter is to inform you of two things. First, I am now setting up new
accounts with I will be opening a new chequering account at Presidents
Choice Financial, and a savings account at ING Direct. Not only do they
have accounts for people with disabilities, they have no charge accounts. I
have been overwhelmed by the customer service and the people I have talked
to. I will be taking the appropriate measures to change my automatic
withdrawals for my bills, and then I will pay off my Visa.

Second, I am now requesting refund of the $40.00 charge to my account. I am
a person on a very fixed budget. As a result of my injury I am unable to
work a full time job. With the economy the way it is, getting hit with a
$40.00 charge is several days of food for me. That is my visa payment. I
have not only been a valued customer, but I was a valued and award winning
staff member. As a previous collection agent for RBC I stay on top of my
banking. I never run from my responsibilities

I just think that RBC is nickel and dimming a person with disability. Who
struggles to make ends meet every day? Who is trying to carry the torch for
the Olympics in 2010. You have in your power, at the cost of 40.00, the
chance to do an amazing thing. Give me back my money.

p.s. I remember all these things because my accident was over 5 years ago.
I worked very hard every day to retain some semblance of my ability to
store memories. One thing I was taught in Collection at RBC was to record
everything. I make notes on my phone, my laptop, with everything I do. I
also have the transaction record of my deposit
Transit: 05680
Date: 03 Apr 2009-04-05
Time: 17:03:46
Reference # 1090936142886205680
That 3 minutes and 46 seconds cost me $40.00.

This is RBC response, with a nice little lecture of how banking works.

Dear Mr. McGuire:

We have received your message regarding the NSF fee in your account. My name is Cathy and I can be reached at 1-866-889-8860 ext 7371. Your message has been brought to my attention and I welcome the opportunity to respond. I am very sorry to hear of the difficulty and inconvenience you encountered recently with your rent cheque.

Upon review of your message and your account, Mr. McGuire, I will reverse the NSF fee as a courtesy to you. Funds are required in the account on the date the cheque is issued. For preauthorized payments, the funds are required on deposit prior to 6 p.m. that same day.

Please note, you will want to retrieve the NSF cheque if you replace it for your landlord, as it can be cashed if the payee has it certified.

I apologize for the delay in replying to your message. If I can be of further assistance, Mr. McGuire, please do not hesitate to contact me through this message center or by phone.

Sincerely,

Cathy O'Dell
Client Care Specialist
Royal Bank of Canada
1-866-889-8860, Ext 7371

So I am done with RBC. I worked for them for years, I had allot of issues when I was a collections officer. I never treated people like they were bad for owing money. On the one hand here is RBC advertising on Buses, TV, Movies, Radio, they camp outside of colleges and university's getting you sign up for credit. The second you owe money, or make a mistake. You are treated like a criminal. I am tired of being nickle and dimmed to death. I mean here are there earnings in 2008. They talk about how bad things are because they only earned Net 4,555 million. Now I am not a banker or an economist. I do know though that what they claim is the net income is allot les than there actual earnings.

TORONTO, December 5, 2008 – Royal Bank of Canada (RY on TSX and NYSE) today reported net income of $4,555 million for the
year ended October 31, 2008, down $937 million or 17% from $5,492 million a year ago. Earnings over last year were reduced by
write downs of $2,785 million before-tax ($1,418 million after-tax and compensation adjustments) and higher provisions for credit losses
primarily in our U.S. banking business. These factors were partially offset by gains of $533 million ($273 million after-tax and
compensation adjustments) on the fair value of adjustments on RBC debt designated as held-for-trading(1), and the reduction of the
Enron Corp. (Enron)-related litigation provision by $542 million ($252 million after-tax and related compensation adjustments). We had
solid results in Canadian Banking and certain businesses in Capital Markets

I got this from http://www.rbc.com/investorrelations/pdf/q408release.pdf RBC's Investment websight.

I mean there a bank, if they know how to get .25 cents out of you and me, imagine what they do to the government and big business. Next to Politician, and Cell Phone company's, banks well they are just after themselves.

For years I was there collector. I know.

Anyway I am now on the journey for a better bank. A bank that will work with me, my disability, and my specific needs. Not what the banks "Demographic" says I should have or do. So we will see. That is my rant for the day.

I hate smokers at bus stops and on Transit

2009-04-01T23:13:00.001-07:00

I have the strangest thoughts sometimes. Even after brain injury, drug addiction, marriage, and a whole host of other issues, I still find myself day dreaming really odd things.

Today I am out on a run through town. As I get to the bus stop there is this fat old white guy smoking a cigarette. Just behind him is a really skinny middle aged Asian dude smoking a cigarette to. I get this weird image in my head. It goes something like this.

I grab there cigarettes and toss them into the oncoming traffic. When they say something about it, I just look at them and say

"What are you mad that I won't you give me cancer"?

In my head I see them backing down, I run down the road saving the world from two more cigarettes. Maybe they even decide to quit smoking.

You see smoking at bus stops is kind of an issue for me. Well smoking anywhere in public pisses me off. Especially when I am running and I get a nice excelled mouth full of there exhaust.

What gets me about the bus stops is that when it is really wet out everyone stand under the little cover. There is usually one guy who lights up a smoke, oblivious that this then goes into every ones breathing space. I am faced with two options as I see it, I can walk out in the rain, or I can tell them to get out of the covered area and smoke in the rain.

The way I see this is go ahead and kill yourself I don't care. Just don't kill me, or the others in the same space. If you have to stand out in the rain that's your issue. You can always put it out and stand in the covered area.

The other smoker I hate is the one that takes that last big drag just before they got on the bus. Exhaling just as they get on. Some bus drivers get pissed off, others don't care. I hate standing next to these idiots on a crowded bus. I can feel the smoke in my eyes. The smell is something else to.

Then there are the smokers on the skytrain platforms. I am that guy that points to the "no smoking" signs everywhere. I don't care if you can't speak English, you can tell what a sign that has a cigarette with a cross over it is telling you.

I am sure one day I will get punched in the head for the comments I make to them. I just don't get it. I was a smoker, for years. I quit in 2002. I was always very aware that I was smoking though.

I would like to see transit get a little more aggressive with the smokers at the bus stops.

That is my rant for the day. The reason I posted this was because as I have running the last few days, I have really started to notice the amount of smokers everywhere. I know you can't smoke in doors. This now means that people just stand outside a business and smoke right at the door. Meaning that when I have to go in, or run buy, I get a nice inhale of second hand smoke.

I have been starting to get more aggressive. I have no idea what the psychology behind that is, I just know that I am getting a little to angry. I just want to rip those cigs out of there hands, steal the box, and then run away. Oh I dream of a guy with a nice big cigar......easy target.

Why a Minority Government is the best for the Country.

2009-03-21T11:46:00.000-07:00

Look I get it, the point of a Member of Parliament and a representative of the Liberals is to argue against the opposition. I get that. What I don't like is when some twit like Denis Coderre comes on and tries to blame the current economic crisis on Steven Harper.

I know the opposition always wants to blame everything on the current power. I just saw Denis Coderre on CTV News Net channel 20. He is trying to push Michael Ignatieff into being the leader of Canada. So here he is trying to trash the current leader Steven Harper.

So as he is making these grand, bold statements about how bad the Harper government is, how is it Harper's fault that the world is in an economic spin. Even though Canada is doing allot better than other countries, here were his statements on News Net today:

"Ya know we have made some mistakes in the past, but it's nothing like what Harper is doing"

Are you kidding me?

"I have been in politics for 25 years, I know what Canadians want. They are (Harper Government) making mistakes and they are lying to us, and they are making mistakes. The Liberals will be the alternative to this"???

Are you serious?

"A British politician is usually caught with his hand up a woman's skirt while a Canadian politician is usually caught with his hand in the till."
- Sun Media columnist Valerie Gibson

"This is the biggest scandal in Canadian history."
- Conservative Leader Stephen Harper on the sponsorship fiasco

Let's take a look at how the Liberals will save us from this "world wide recession" that apparently is all because of Steven Harper.

Maybe we can bring back the Liberals of the past.

January of 1978, Solicitor General Francis Fox was forced to resign from Pierre Trudeau's Liberal cabinet after he was found to have helped procure an abortion for a woman with whom he had had an affair. Fox had signed the woman's husband's name on a hospital document – not a terribly acceptable action on the part of the country's top law enforcer. He returned to practising law, became an executive with Rogers Wireless Communications, and eventually returned to the backrooms of politics, serving as currently as Liberal Prime Minister Paul Martin's principal secretary through most of 2004.

Or how about the tuna scandal. This 1985 fiasco brought down Brian Mulroney's minister of fisheries and oceans and robbed a New Brunswick town of its main employer. The story broke on CBC's The Fifth Estate on Sept. 17, 1985: Fisheries minister John Fraser had overturned an order from his own inspectors and ordered a million cans of StarKist tuna released for sale to the public. The inspectors had said the tuna, packed at the StarKist plant in St. Andrews, N.B., was so badly spoiled that it wasn't even fit to be turned into cat food. The plant's owners had lobbied Fraser to release the cans for sale, saying they might shut the plant if the tuna couldn't be sold.

When the story broke, Fraser said he had sent samples of the tuna to two independent labs for testing, but those labs later said they hadn't finished their tests by the time Fraser decided to release the shipment. Six days after the scandal erupted, Mulroney asked Fraser to resign. In a twist the opposition parties were quick to exploit, Fraser and Mulroney both initially said that Mulroney had known about the original decision to release the tuna. The two men later said the prime minister had not known until the affair became public.

Fraser eventually went on to a new job, becoming Speaker in the House of Commons, but the 400 StarKist workers in St. Andrews weren't so lucky. The plant was shattered after the company's market share slumped, and they were thrown out of work.

Pity poor Brian Mulroney. The Progressive Conservative prime minister lost an average of one cabinet minister to allegations of wrong-doing during each year of his 1984-1993 reign.

First there was Robert Coates, who stepped down as defence minister in 1985 after it was revealed that he had visited a strip club in West Germany while in that country on official business. Communications Minister Marcel Masse left over an alleged violation of the Canada Elections Act (he was later exonerated), followed closely by John Fraser.

In 1986, Minister of Regional Industrial Expansion Sinclair Stevens stepped down because of conflict of interest allegations related to a $2.6-million loan to a Stevens family company. André Bissonnette, the minister of state for transport, resigned in 1987 while the RCMP investigated his alleged involvement in land speculation. Roch La Salle, who served Mulroney in the public works, and supply and services portfolios, left cabinet the same year after being charged with demanding a bribe and accepting money from businesses looking for government favours. The charges were later dropped.

Conflict of interest allegations involving a personal loan felled Supply and Services Minister Michel Coté in 1988. Bernard Valcourt stepped down in 1989 after pleading guilty to an impaired driving offence. In 1990, current Quebec Premier Jean Charest had to leave his two posts as minister for fitness and amateur sport, and minister for youth after trying to talk to a judge about an ongoing case.

And, finally, in 1991, Housing Minister Alan Redway offered his resignation after being charged over joking about having a gun while boarding a flight at the Ottawa airport. Not a cabinet minister but equally embarrassing to the Conservatives was Quebec MP Michel Gravel, who in 1986 was charged with 50 counts of fraud and influence peddling. He later pleaded guilty to 15 charges, paid a $50,000 fine and served four months in jail.

Who would have thought a little pepper would be so harmful to one's political health? In November 1997, the RCMP pepper-sprayed protesters lining the planned route of world leaders attending the Asia-Pacific Economic Co-operation Conference in Vancouver. Liberal PM Jean Chrétien brushed away the incident, joking: "For me, pepper, I put it on my plate."

Almost four years later, a commission of inquiry led by retired Saskatchewan judge Ted Hughes found that the Mounties had acted inappropriately, and instructed them to make sure in the future that "generous opportunity will be afforded for peaceful protesters to see and be seen in their protest activities by guests to the event." Hughes also found that officials from the Prime Minister's Office, specifically director of operations Jean Carle, played an "improper role" in giving instructions to the RCMP to clear the motorcade route quickly, using force if necessary.

The affair left Chrétien personally unscathed but claimed a prominent victim from his cabinet. Solicitor General Andy Scott resigned in November 1998 after he was heard loudly telling a seatmate on a flight home to Fredericton that RCMP Staff Sgt. Hugh Stewart "would take the fall" for the pepper-spraying incident. Foes immediately complained that Scott had prejudiced the RCMP Public Complaints Commission hearing then taking place by commenting on the panel's possible findings.

Airbus: Long out of politics, former Progressive Conservative prime minister Brian Mulroney was dragged back into the public arena, thanks to the RCMP and a lobbyist called Karlheinz Schreiber. As part of an investigation into Schreiber's role in an alleged plot involving secret commissions and kickbacks in deals for the purchase of airplanes and helicopters, the federal Justice Department sent a letter to the Swiss government. The 1995 letter alleged that Mulroney was also involved in the arrangement, taking kickbacks on the sale of Airbus planes to Air Canada during his time as prime minister.

When the letter became public, Mulroney sued the federal government for defamation, seeking $50 million in damages. Two years later, he settled for $2 million in legal costs and an apology from Ottawa. The RCMP finally ended its criminal investigation against Mulroney in April 2003, citing a lack of evidence.

The billion-dollar boondoggle: Human Resources Development Minister Jane Stewart was in the hot seat in 2000 when an internal audit found that Jean Chrétien's Liberal government had failed to track employment program grants worth $1 billion to make sure the money was spent properly and the promised jobs were created. At one time, the RCMP had launched 12 separate investigations into HRDC files as a result of the audit; three of them related to grants awarded in the prime minister's riding of Saint-Maurice. Stewart faced grilling for months in the House of Commons, but managed to hold on to her job. She decided not to run again in the 2004 federal election, however.

Shawinigate: Questions over Prime Minister Jean Chrétien's involvement in two properties in his riding began in 1993 and lingered until the day he left office in late 2003. Chrétien sold his stake in the Auberge Grand-Mère resort just before becoming prime minister and sold his shares in the Grand-Mère Golf Course shortly after that. But he wasn't paid for the golf course shares until 1999.

The issue at the heart of the debate: when exactly did Chrétien stop having an "interest" in the properties? Twice in 1996, he contacted François Beaudoin, president of the federal Business Development Bank of Canada, about a $2-million loan being sought by Yvon Duhaime, the new owner of the Auberge Grand-Mère, to expand the hotel. The prime minister made another call to the BDC in 1997 about a scaled-back version of the loan. The federal ethics counsellor later ruled that Chrétien had done nothing wrong, but the opposition parties loudly begged to differ.

(I took some of these articles from http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/cdngovernment/scandals.html )

Now I am not necessarily a fan of Steven Harper. I am a fan of a Minority Government. I like it when all sides are heard, not just one. When Mr. Harper has to please everyone, we see a much broader sense of justice. The matters that really matter, get attention.

Coming from the point of view of a person with a disability, Harper's cuts have hurt me. Not only has there been allot of cuts not only to Social Service, but to the whole infrastructure of the Social Service and Mental Health Services offered (read below to my other post for my rants about that). This is not the issue today though.

I by no means am a political analyst. I am just a Canadian citizen and a person with a disability. As I get older however I can't help but notice what idiots these politicians are.

They remind me of my addiction days where I could talk someone out of their money, or manipulate them and use them to my own needs. Then when I no longer needed them, dispense of them, and move on. Only to blame them when I was questioned or caught. So I would forget my misdeeds, and focus on how if only today, just today, they trusted me one more time, then I would make right all the past mistakes.

These leaders are nothing but addicts. Constantly seeking their "high". As soon as it crashes though, they are scourging for more money, standing on the street begging for change, waiting in line for their welfare check. Then catching a cab to their dealer with promises of riches, better times, getting back all that they have lost. Then the high goes away, the welfare check is gone, can't afford the bus let alone a cab, so they come back to the sky train entrance and beg and clean the passing cars. Willing to do anything and make any promise if only they can just make some money to get their next fix, everything will be OK.

Life After TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury)

2009-03-17T21:27:00.000-07:00

It has been a hard couple of months. I am now working at a shoe store called Foot Solutions. It is owned by very good family friends. They are very understanding of my injury and my disability.

I tried to work again at the Running Room. I like the atmosphere of the Running Room. I love the customers and majority of the staff. There is one great Area Manager named Amanda who is awesome.

The issue with working a retail job with my short term memory loss is that people lose patience. They think because they told me twice, or that they wrote it down, or that I wrote it down that I should remember it.

The new manager looked like a good fit for me when I went back to the Running Room after leaving BCIT's carpentry program. She used to be a nurse at a mental hospital, she understood the psychiatric, mental, and physical limitation I had. She was a clean freak, she was an organization master.

The problem; however, she was a bitch. She is a nice bitch. I would love to have her working for my company if I owned one. The problem with her is almost like that of a doctor with no "bed side manner". She had very little patience or wiggle room in her demands.

It was do it her way, the right way, or get out. She lost her temper. She had a way of asking questions that made me feel like a kid who the teacher was making an example of in class.
"David did you put the shoes in the right box?"
"Do you want to make sure?"
"We have had allot of shoes go in the wrong box."
"Why don't you check it again."
"Oh good for you, you got the shoes in the right box."
"We need to always make sure that the shoes go in the right box David."
"I am really glad that you had the shoes in the right box."

Another co-worker admitted later to her that he has problems putting the shoes in the right box when it's busy. She never apologized for accusing me, or for making me question myself.For using this as reason to cut my hours. Causing me to question my ability to feel certain of my actions.

You see I know I am disabled. Have you ever opened the door for someone in a wheelchair, or someone using a cain, and have that person get mad at you? It's not you they are mad at.The act of opening the door in your point of view is

"hey let me give me you hand."

However, to the person in the wheelchair, or using the cain, you are not only reminding them they are disabled, but you are assuming they can't open the door on thier own. It's a double wammy.

Now to add a twist to it, sometimes we need your help. Sometimes that person gets mad you didn't open the door.

"Can't you see I am in a wheelchair"?

Other times you run the risk of

"I don't need you to help me, I can do this myself!"

It depends on how accepting that person is of their own disability. How their day has gone. We have bad days to, somedays are so hard. Somedays I need help opening the door. Have ever needed help opening a door?

I think my biggest frustration besides the "helpfullness" of people like my ex boss at the Running Room. The ones who come across as helpful and understandin. Is that they are supportive as long as it makes them look good.

These are people that want to feel better about themselves. The ones that help out the less fortunate because that makes them feel they are better than the less fortunate. So if they help out, they are good people. Maybe it helps them deal with their own demons. I don't know.

There is a hidden anger in these people, those that have a bitterness inside. Some people have made statements to me like "I wish I was disabled so I got money from the government" Or "I wish my bad memory could be blamed on a head injury." I have talked about them before.

The other kind of person is one that feigns interest. To either help themselves feel better, or make themselves look better to other people. Think of the retirement home nurse that saves lives, and cares for the elderly, but steals their jewelry. The social worker that makes an "error" in sending out a check to a disabled person she mistakes as a drug addict or who she thinks is "faking it" or the care worker that abuses the people that can't fight back.

I am not saying that happens all the time. I am showing extreme examples of it. There are varying degrees of these kinds of situations. Like a boss who cuts your hours down to 4 hours once a week, to "help not overwhelm you" so she can hire someone who she thinks will put the shoe in the right box.

I mean at the end of the day I get it. I make them work harder. People don't want to work harder. They want there routine to go on. People don't like change. You add change and suddenly they have to come back to a work environment that is different. You have made some errors in the learning curve, and people freak. You have brokend the bubble. Everyone has a learningg curve, My curve is longer than other people's.

Add the fact they have to change, you break there routine, you make them work harder. That is hard for anyone in the best of times, add the current economic situation and this equals: get rid of the guy that makes you work harder.It's simple.

On the one hand I get it. I mean I wasn't always disabled. I get that it's a dog eat dog world. I know I am the low dog on the totem pole. I understand. Doesn't mean I like it. Doesn't mean I will give up.

It does mean that it sucks. It does mean that I get depressed. It does mean I get that I have to work so hard every day just to be slightly above passing. I will never be #1, #2, or #3. I just want to have a #. I don't want to be expendable.

On bad days, I just want to be normal again. I just want to be able to do what I did before. I want things to be easy again. At least all the things I took for granted.

On most days however, I don't want it to be different. I am not glad of my injury. I am glad of what I have done since my injury. I am glad of what I am still capable of doing. That and I going to be an Ironman!!

New job, New attitude, New blog.

2009-03-06T10:04:00.001-08:00

OK, so I have started a new blog http://davidsjourneytoironman.blogspot.com/ this blog will be Triathlon specific. It is not only about the journey to Penticton. It is also about the training, the gear, the food, the scheduling, and everything else that goes with it.

This blog is going to focus on my day to day stuff. Well I guess not day to day, but when I need to vent, or add something I feel the world should here!!. Because world, sometimes you just listen.

So since my last posting a few things have changed. Despite an incredible amount of effort, time, money and blood and tears. My damaged brain, and current cognitive skills have shown that not only is school not going to work, but I am having trouble holding jobs.

I left the carpentry course because it just moved to fast, there was problems with how they provided me with "support". There way of dealing with Aphasia was to give me a dictionary.

I wish I could say it was all there fault, but it wasn't. I mean part of it was for sure. The other part, when I am honest, is my brain just doesn't process that intense of information, that is provided at such a fast paste. I just litterly can't do it.

That is still hard to admit. I don't like thinking I can't do things. I am so driven since my accident. It feels like everywhere I turn there are constant, overwhelming, obstacles. I just want a day off from being disabled. Just one.

I went back to work at the Running Room. At first this seemed to be a really good fit. I worked for about a month and a half. Then I ran into a few issues, again I wish I could point my finger at one particular thing, I wish I could say my boss was a bitch. Well she is, but she is also a fair bitch. I get she has her own bitches to deal with. I get she has a budget she has quotas to meet.

I just found they didn't give me enough time to adjust. I was willing, no I did, give them everything I had. I just didn't work fast enough, or learn fast enough, or do things "the perfect way". So my hours were reduced to 4 hours once a week.

I can't afford that. I understand there point of view. Which bluntly is, why pay me to do a job 3 or 4 times. When you could pay someone else to the job the first time right.

I just get frustrated that life is not balanced by intentions, or desire. Instead it is run by profit, and who ever doesn't make the boss work harder. There are two sides of me. The one that understands this. However, there is also that side of me that gets frustrated.

I mean I fit into to this world where I am not disabled enough to qualify for more funding, but I am not enabled enough to even work a minimum wage job.

When I talked to my support groups i.e. speech pathologists, Dr's, friends, etc. What I heard from the professionals was "you can always volunteer". To them I am a number, I am a statistic, they don't live my life. I am not willing to settle with $900.00 some odd dollars a month. Not when I want a house, support my wife, go on vacations, have kids. I want success to. Just as much as anyone else does

I mean on the one I am lucky to be alive. I have a incredible amount of generosity for my new life. What is the point of living if am just an old broken compute sitting by the garbage bin? I just don't have the processing speed for this world. I guess not the world I choose to live in.

That being said, I have found a new job. I am now working at Foot Solutions three times a week. The honours are close friends by proxy. My wife has known them since childhood.

They are understanding and supportive and it's a great working environment. I am still trying to get into this new "me". Find out what I can do, and what I can't. This has been a strange journey. That doesn't seem like it is settling down anytime soon.

Dealing with Advanced Education after TBI

2009-01-07T16:27:00.000-08:00

So I have left my second attempt school. First was College. I made it through three semesters but then, between the course load, my reduced processing speed, the fact that since my injury I am very easily over stimulated. Not to mention just the stress of college. I had to decide to continue or leave.

In order for me to succeed at school. I take what is called High Needs Part Time Student Loans. These allow me to go school part time, with full time student loans. The idea that because I require extra time to process, study, respond, and digest information. I am also unable to work while taking courses. This is quite a change for a guy that pre-injury could be at work on the phone, surfing the web, talking to a co-worker and still stay on top of everything. My reduced multi-tasking skill have been greatly reduced.

So for me to get a bachelor degree it would take me 8 years, and it would cost me allot of money. Not only in student loans, but because I am unable to work at this time. Poor student doesn't do it the explanation justice.

The other problem is that a bachleor degree in Psych or English, would allow me to work at Starbuck. As I am resently married, I want a to profide, I want a home, I want a dental plan, I want car insurance etc.

So I changed schools and I thought maybe a trade program. I researched, and did all the required pre-tests. I got registered and went on the waiting list. Then I started BCIT Framing & Forming. This would give me a 2nd year Carpenter apprentice degree. Allowing me to go out and start making some real money.

This would be a 6 month course. Two semesters of three months each. BCIT has a different kind of teaching and learning which would be a little easier for me to learn. Instead a broad amount of information spread out and then a test every two weeks or monthly. They do what is called Brick Learning. So you learn something today. You go home and study it, you review it the next day and have a test. Then you through it away, and you learn something new, go home and study. Next morning you have a review and a test.

This seemed to suite me very well, for my ability to retain information is incredibly challenged since my accident. I was getting 75% to 80% percent on my daily tests.

Then came the semester final. There was some confusion about how I take my test. To help deal with my Aphasia. (I won't go into a description of Aphasia but if you know what it is, you probably smiled when you saw that BCIT disabilities way of dealing with it was a dictionary). Long story short, my final grade was down to 35%. BCIT requires a minimum of 70% to graduate.

I got a little upset because of the disability testing process, but that's another blog altogether. So there way of dealing with my greatly reduced mark was to allow me a retake.

Sounds great but as they were informed of my disability, and my requirements, more than a year in advance, they were instructed with my specific needs. There way of doing the retest would be two weeks later. In the mean time I would continue in the next semester. So I would still have to take in new information, have twice weekly tests, and still study for the last semester.

That combined with another brain fart. I nearly collapsed in class one day. My brain shut down to what reminded me of right after my accident. I was confused, I couldn't find my internal GPS, I had no sense of who I was, where I was. Completely disoriented. I manged to find my way to my Dr's Office and another long story short. After a Sleep deprived EEG, I got a medical leave of absence.

So as I right this, I have gone back to the Running Room. All the people in my life have informed me the last time I was happy was when I was working at the Running Room and Training. So here I am now $16,000.00 in student loan debt and no degree.

I am now attempting to receive some of my funding back from BCIT, and see what I can about my student loans. The Running Room does not pay allot of money, so on top of Rent, credit cards, electrical, and hydro. I don't have allot of money. With Mandy still in school. It will be a fun couple of years.

On the upside I may be broke but I will be happier, and I will be able to train for Ironman full strength now.

I guess this is next chapter of living with brain injury.

TBI and Depression/Anxiety

2008-12-15T15:18:00.000-08:00

Ok so since my last posting allot of things have happened. I got married and I started BCIT for a Carpentry training program. While my marriage is good, advanced education is too much for me. I find the rate of information coming in to fast. While I get allot of support like, extended test time, there is no support for extended presentation of information. Our advanced education system does not make that possible. I would need to take a course 3-4 times to pass. I can’t afford that.
I can honestly say I have worked really hard. I was up so early in the morning. I was in class or the shop all day. I was at home studying and then getting ready for the next day. I was not allot of fun, and I had to cut down on training, social activities, and anything that didn’t have to do with school.
While I failed the semester final, I was allowed to retake it 11 days later, but I also had to keep attending class, I had new bi-weekly tests, and I had to study for the previous semester. There was not enough time. I was overcome with anxiety and the pressure to do all of it within the time period. I then sank into a pretty deep depression.
The hardest part of my disability is admitting it. I hate being disabled. I hate not being able to remember. I struggle very hard with the acceptance of it, every day.
On my bad days I am very tired of being disabled. I get tired of explaining my disability. On good days I have come so far, I have so hard. I can do anything. It is an extreme difference. I just want to wake up and be normal again. Go back to what I was.
I am now looking for a way to learn at my own pace, something that will allow me to be a provider for my family above minimum wage. I am going to attempt to work at the Running Room again, deal with the anxiety and depression as well as I can. I will not stop, I will keep looking forward. I will succeed. I just don’t know what success looks like.
So I will start my Penticton Ironman training in earnest.

My Wedding Suit, and Video Game Stag Party

2008-07-26T11:49:00.000-07:00

This is the first really nice suit I have ever owned. It was purchased at Holt Renfrew and cost the same as a down payment on a house. It was altered to fit me perfectly. I apparently have huge thighs from my biking.

The Video Game Stag Party is tonight. It's going to be me, my best man, my friends, parents and a few other people all chilling at my friends place. I am bringing my Chair, my HD Screen, my Xbox 360 and my Steering wheel. My Best Man is bringing Rock Band, Dance Dance Revolution, and a Wii. The house we are going to already has a HD big screen and PlayStation 3. So this going to be three consoles going at the same time in the same room. With lot's of accessories, gone are the days of Stag party Strippers/Bars. We are going to order Pizza and Sushi, I am really looking forward to it.

Can't wait for the wedding to be over though. Way to much drama, to much stress, not enough payoff for you investment. I mean Mandy is worth the whole world. Don't get me wrong. I would recommend eloping to Vegas, tell people about it when you get back, save your money for a house.

That is all.

Cheers

Peak Center Training for Penticton Ironman 2009

2008-07-13T10:48:00.000-07:00

This is my first attempt at Video Blogging. Mandy got me a new Handy-Cam as a pre-wedding gift. So I am able to record the wedding and my training. I started my workouts at Peak Center for Human Performance. Man I love that place, I blogged about it earlier. I got the first months' workout plans. They include my Run and Bike, and workout in detail. They include at what points during the run or bike, I should be picking it up to which zone. When they took my blood samples during the initial assessment, they were able to advice me what each setting in my Garmin is. So I get to input the Data to my Garmin. I want to run in zone 1 for 10 minutes, then zone 3 for 20 minutes, then back to zone 1 to taper down for 15 minutes. My zone 1 is about the pace I use when I do a long, slow run. Most runners know what I am talking about. But to figure out what zone 3 was, was a little harder. Basically it's not a full out sprint, but it's uncomfortable. Hard to talk, but I can maintain the tempo for as long as I can. My little Garmin will yell at me if I slow down, or speed up. Very cool for the traumatically injured brain people of the world, Or even the normal people of the world who don't have the time on top of school, work, crack smoking and hookers to do a detailed Ironman training plan. I have not posted the information because I want to make sure legally I can. So join me as I count down until the 2009 Penticton Ironman. With my wedding, school, and the all encompassing brain injury. Let's see where this goes!!

Microsoft Zune; Peak Center, and The 2009 Penticton Ironman

2008-07-09T00:54:00.000-07:00

I got to meet two awesome people from Microsoft last weekend. We got to meet Sue and Tony, what really great people. You guys rock!!They came to Vancouver, from Toronto, to interview me about my use of technology after my accident.

This all started with my winning story about how I use Outlook as my memory. This is the link to the story. http://www.microsoft.com/canada/home/amazingstories/summerlovin.aspx#1

This story won me a HP laptop, Vista Ultimate, a Webcam, Office 2007, and a whole bunch of other software. I have blogged about this before.

When we met downtown Vancouver we went down near Stanley Park and I explained how technology helps me with my memory loss. On top of a great dinner, they gave me a 4 GB Zune.

I love the Zune. The first thing I did was sync it at home. I have added it to my network at home. I downloaded the Zune software and did the expected updates. What was really neat was it found all my friends. It also set's wirelessly to my PC. So I have a Triathlon Podcast and I was able to download it. Unlike my IPod it syncs without having to connect it to my computer.

The Zune also has FM Radio; it's a nice little addition. It's a little smaller than my IPod, and the screen is also made of glass instead of plastic. While I always put a protection cover on things, it is less resistant to scratches.

The software is similar to the IPod that it finds all your songs and files on the computer. I have not found an online movie store yet though. I have only had it for a day or so, and it is very new. I am looking forward to an online store. Apple has done a good job and it will be hard to match. We will see what happens.

I had my second meeting at Speed Theory. I have all my data and I will get weekly updates on my workouts to make sure I am training at the optimal level for me. I also get access to there gym, and a breakdown of how far to run, bike, and workout. I also know exactly how much protein and crabs I burn, and what I need to replace. So I am looking forward to my update this Sunday to start my Training in earnest.

I will be on track for the Ironman.

The wedding is almost here. This has been a roller coaster of preparation. I think I like the Triathlon Training better. It is just me I have to organize. It is hard making everyone happening.

It has been an interesting time since my accident. I have lost some very close friends that don't know how to deal with the new me. Some relationships have gotten closer, but others have been slowly dying. My Best man has informed me less than a month before the wedding he is not coming.

Apparently everyone else knew about this but me. So that sucks, he was one of my best friends and we were really close. So yeah, I don't know after my accident I learned that what matters wasn’t an extra hour at work, wasn’t getting that promotion. It was my family, my friends and what else I did with my life. I am a person who works to live, not lives to work.

Still it's hard loosing friends though, while I understand things change, people move and drift away. You expect them to let you know they won't be at your wedding ya know. I just don't want to get to bitter so that years down the road I am not still angry. As I am sure it really doesn’t affect him. I am sure he is sleeping just fine tonight, while I am still feeling the loss of a friend. People are weird.

Anyway, I have a tone of energy. Things are moving ahead, school starts in September, I have the wedding in August, and I am back in training mode. It's nice.

My personal Lactate, Vo2Max and Energy Usage Analysis for the 2009 Penticton Ironman

2008-06-25T15:45:00.001-07:00

I start a training program at Peak Center http://www.peakcentrevancouver.ca/services_plans.php

So I am going to get on my bike in there and do a lab assesment.

This will help me with my Ironman Training. I am so stoked. I will finally understand how to use my Garmin to it's full potential. Because I have no Idea what most of the options are.

The wedding is coming up!! Both Mandy and I are very excited. I have never been on a cruise so our honey moon after the wedding is Island hopping on a cruse ship in Hawaii. That rocks.

You know there is something wrong with you, when the first thing I look for on the cruise ship is a track, and gym!! They have both BTW!!

That's about all for now. I got to go for a run.

Started My Ironman 2009 Training

2008-03-17T23:20:00.001-07:00

OK so I went for the second run of the week yesterday. Mandy and I are running together. We head to the track and do some laps. She is beginning the whole running thing. As we both have our own pace and distance ability, we run around the track at our pace and can still be in roughly the same place. We tried running out on the street, but as our speeds and distance aren't the same, we found running the track (for the three days we run together) works out really well.

Heading out for a bike tomorrow, and try to get in a quick 10kl run. I am heading to my new Dentist tomorrow, so we will see how I feel.

I have registered for the Framing and Forming class at BCIT. It is the first step to the Carpentry program. So I take this semester of training, then one more semester after that. Then I am out doing my apprenticeship.

The wedding is up and coming, holy shit we are getting married. It is going to be my first trip to Hawaii. Then the honey moon is cruising the islands on a cruise ship. What does it say when one of the first things I look for is a pool I can swim in, and treadmill I can run on. There is something really wrong with me.

So I have to be in Penticton for the August 2008 Ironman to register for the 2009 Ironman. I also just like writing the word Ironman. I am trying to find some events to do between now and then. Maybe a Marathon or another Olympic distance Tri. We will see.

I am toying with the idea of using my blog as a vlog (video log) Maybe start recording the training process over the next year and a bit. We will see.

Garmin nuvi 650. Navigation for the Brain Injured. Microsoft Racing Wheel & Chiropractor's

2008-02-07T14:08:00.000-08:00

One of the issues I face, after my TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), is finding my way around town. I grew up in B.C. and I know it like the back of my hand. After my accident I find it very difficult to "get my bearings" I no longer have the ability to register north and south. My internal GPS is broken. I got a Garmin 305 to help me when I ran (see previous posts). This was convenient for helping me keep track of where I was, and helped my get back to where I stated. It has a neat feature that sends you back to your starting position. Although I couldnt use it when I needed to drive to school, or go meet Mandy, or even find the local grocery store.

My parents had purchased a GPS for there car and loved it. The cost for a quality GPS though can be expensive. Needles to say, being a student, having a disability, and saving for my wedding, does not make for a financially profitable environment. So shelling out a few hundred bucks for car navigation didn’t seem like a priority.

We were at Costco one day and saw this nuvi 650

After thinking about it, Mandy and I decided to purchase it. What an amazing little device. It is quite intuitive and really easy to use. I mean if I can use it with my damaged brain imagine what you can do with it!

If you are a person with a brain injury or know someone who has had one, or if you just get lost really easy, this thing greatly reduces stress. It also stops those arguments we all have, when we get lost,and the subsequent argument that starts with the navigator/spouse!!

I threw my back out the other day and my Dr. recommended a Chiropractor who has not only fixed my back but fixed some the things that I have been complaining about for years. He was a real, down to earth, kind of guy to. I am also getting clinical massages that are helping me out.

I purchased the Microsoft Racing Wheel and the thing rocks. I use it with my Pyramat Gaming Chair. So I get to sit in my little gaming chair and then set up my racing wheel, and go for a drive. Loving it!!

The wedding planning is continuing. I got a great suit at Holt Renfrew fitted just for me. The cool thing is, while the suit may be hot for a Hawaii wedding. I will have a gorgeous suit I can use later on. I have never owned such a nice piece of clothing.

We are currently viewing a few photographers. The wedding will be in Hawaii, but we are going to have a Chinese ceremony in Vancouver. So we are looking for a photographer for that. Other than that, nothing else is really new.

HP dv9310ca, Vista Ultimate, and a new Garmin 305

2007-11-01T16:11:00.000-07:00

So I won a new computer from the Microsoft "Summer Lovin'" contest, it's a HP dv9310ca, I won a copy of Vista Ultimate, and Office 2007 Student addition. It's super cool and replaces the old home PC I had that was running windows 2000. This computer is an entertainment notebook.

The contest was a short essay on how you use Microsoft and it's software to help you in summer. I just wrote I use Outlook calender to remind me what I need to do, the to do list, and I connect it all to my Windows Mobile phone to remind me where I need to be. It turns out my essay rocked, so I won. Here is the link to the essay http://www.microsoft.com/canada/home/amazingstories/summerlovin.aspx#1 It is titled Microsoft Office Outlook is my memory

The computer is very cool, it's a wide screen that is HD. I got an Xbox 360 for my birthday and this computer comes with Windows Media Center. So I can hook up my Xbox 360 as a media extender. What the hell does that mean you ask. Well it means that I can do things like have TV cable come to my PC, send the image to my Xbox 360 and watch TV on my regular TV, or computer. Ok not a big deal, I mean I can watch TV without the computer. AH but think about it this way. It stores the information on the Memory of the Xbox. So I can pause life TV, rewind, or fast forward through commercials. I can also set it to record an episode of a show that I am not at home to watch.

Vista is cool, it's new but it is very intuitive. It took me awhile to set it all up and I am still playing with it. It is very pretty.

I also got my Garmin back. I sent it back as I was no longer getting my cadence on my bike. I phoned and emailed Garmin support but was unable to resolve issue. So I sent it in to there repair department.They sent me a brand new Garmin, and Cadence sensor.

School has been intense and I will be finishing this semester off, and then switching to BCIT a Tech school. I am looking at becoming an Electrical apprentice. At my rate to get out of college with a degree, because of my disability. I am looking at 5-6 years or more for a bachelors degree. Where I can do one semester at BCIT and start working as an apprentice.

2007 Vancouver Triathlon / Back in School

2007-09-04T22:54:00.000-07:00

I finished the Triathlon. It was truly amazing, we were up at 4:30a.m. and headed down to Stanley Park to set everything up in the transition area.

I waited on the start line for the start, and it was really something to jump into the water with a ton of people all in swim suit's.

Speaking of swim suit's that was the first time I have worn one while swimming. I am used to being in the ocean, I grew up near the beach, and don't mind cold water. I have the Polar Bear swim a couple of times. I got the swim suit because I was told that swimming that long in the water it will make a difference. What I didn't know was that it would actually make it easier to swim. It holds you up in the water. My swim time in the ocean was faster than my training time in the Aquatic center.

After the swim, I run out to my bike.

I then spent the next little while riding my bike around Stanley Park, there is a killer hill (well killer for me) four times. On the third time I asked a fellow biker "how many times are we doing this again"? She said four, I then asked what lap we where on and she said three. Oh the joys of my short term memory. I then dumped of the bike and started the 10kl run. My official numbers are this.

I was #228 out of #246
total 3:23:17

swim 36:51
bike 1:41:55
run 1:04:33

I finish the race and gave Mandy a big sweaty kiss.

Truly an awesome experience. I highly recommend you try one. Even a sprint distance, the Triathlon I did was Olympic, I am getting married next year so I am not going to train for the Ironman but I have already started to think about how to make that work. Hawaii Ironman 2009?? Ya never know.

Today, one day after the triathlon, I started school. I was on academic probation for my shitty biology mark from last semester. The school wanted me to take a semester off to "see how the real world works" I argued the point with, the powers that be, at the school. You see, I did very well in Psych, and Math, and English. So taking a semester off would be pointless, I am not going to become un disabled. I also don't need time to "experience the real world" I mean come on. I have spent almost 20 years in the real world, I don't think a semester off of Douglas will help focus me on my chosen carrier path.

So I made that point to the Head Registrar and they have allowed me back in school. I have to maintain a certain GPA overall or I will be asked to leave for two years. So I have to kick some ass.

One cool thing is I did get into an Abnormal Psych class and our group project this semester is to Volunteer at a Psychiatric Hospital. I am totally stoked on this. So I go get my criminal background test tomorrow and I will be headed to River View Hospital.

Mandy has also started school again, she is going into to the teaching program at UBC, today was her first day. So we have two poor students in the house. I am excited though.

I was looking back at my blog entry's from when I was living at my parents house to now, the first days after my injury, proposing to Mandy, the problems with the government, the frustrations of accepting my disability, the loss of my Grandma and Cousin, going back to school, the Marathon, now the Triathlon and my second year in college. It's been an amazing journey, that doesn't look like it's ending any time soon.

The only question now is what do I do next? Jump out of a plane, deep sea diving? Who knows, I will sleep on it.

Douglas Fall Semester/Sept 3rd Vancouver Triathlon

2007-08-21T12:39:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a little while since I posted a Blog entry. I finished Summer semester and got a B- in Psychology, but once again got handed my ass by Biology. I don't know about non brain injured people, but I find the way the way Biology presents it's information to completely back words. I think more people would be do better in Biology if Biology teachers presented the information in a more thoughtful manner. I mean the first day they discus things that are not discussed, reviewed, taught, until the last week of school. They present this information in a way that makes you feel like they are saying "we know we havent taught this yet, but we will, so you have to understand it now, because it will be taught later. So now please apply the logic that has yet to be taught to you, because it will be taught to you" Anyway that is my vent.

The Government, did a review of my funding. Remember they were so sure I was being over paid. Well it turns out that they owe me money. So I received a cheque which was nice. I tell ya though, difficult to deal with is understating it.

Mandy got a Mac book computer, which is kinda cool. I must say I was a little disappointed. I am not sure what I was expecting, but it didn't "pop" the way I expected it to. On the other hand she did get an Ipod with the computer and since she has one already she gave it to me, so I have a new Ipod Nano, very cool.

I have registered for Fall semester, and going through all the paper work for my funding. Mandy is also starting school in September at UBC for teaching. So we are going to be two poor, overworked students, oh I can see the stress already.

My Triathlon is less than two weeks away. I need to find out if it is still on as the Vancouver City workers are on strike. I guess garbage men think they need to make more money. Well I am off for a swim.

Mandy's Birthday Weekend Spectacular/Triathlon Swimming

2007-07-03T10:54:00.000-07:00

I was up at 6:15 with Mandy this morning. Had the juice and grapefruit, dropped Mandy off at sky train, and I headed to the pool.

I did a Warm up of 200 meters, each length is 50 meters so 200 is four laps. Then I did 8 x 50 meter laps, resting after each one for 30 seconds. I did a cool down of swimming on my back and just kicking.

Also met what may be my future trainer. I need some help with the swim. I biked for a couple of hours the other day, yesterday was a 20 minute bike ride. So today was the swim, then home to get ready for school.

I am supposed to be studying right now for my Psych test, but I decided to enter a blog update. As soon as class is done, I am heading home to rest for a bit, then heading out for a run.

I need to pick up another bike shirt. It's been a busy weekend with Mandy's birthday. I rented a boat on Friday so we could go for a boat ride, and lunch out on the water. Great Idea, I thought I was being supper Fiance. I forgot that Mandy gets sea sick!!! It was all good though, we took the boat back and went out for lunch down at Granville Island.

It was a whole weekend of Birthday celebration for Mandy, yesterday we went out for dim sum with her Grandma, sis, and mother. Then I did some studying while she tutored. Then we went out to a Noodle house for dinner with the Johannsen's, and Mandy's Mom, sis, and cousin Mathew.

The restaurant was called the Noodle Box, it was really good. We then went home to prep for today. So I am sitting outside my Psych class, I studied a little bit, but should probably get back to it..........

Happy Birthday Weekend Mandy

HTC S621 Smartphone, Triathlon Training, School

2007-06-28T16:42:00.000-07:00

So a few months ago Mandy and I sent out some letters to various company's like Palm, Blackberry, Roger, Telus, and others. One of these company's was called HTC. I am adding there website to my blog under the links.

They responded and sent me this

It's basically like my palm on crack. It has a cell phone, a camera, a video camera, plays music, has WiFi, plus it syncs with my laptop so all my contacts, my to do lists, my email. I can take it all with me with one small device. It is truly an amazing product. I can go to Google earth and get directions when I get lost. It really is a very cool device. I have been using it to record some of my tutoring information, so moments before a test I can play a video of stuff like Biology notes.

I got a 2GB micro SD card into it. It runs with Windows Mobile. So I can download Outlook, Windows Media Files, Microsoft Office files, pictures, music, videos, not to mention lecture notes etc. I am going to ask for the GPS accessory for my b-day.

I have also finished my tattoo,

School is going much better than last semester, my grades are up and my ability to understand the information has improved. My tutor and I get together just before my weekly exam for Bio and catch up on the notes. Biology is still brutal for me.

My Triathlon training is in full gear, this was my training for today
(100 swim, 100 kick, 100 drill) x 2
3-5 x 100 (15-20 second rest) after each 100
Cool down 200 of whatever (there and back = 100)

Each 100 is a ,there and back, down the 50m pool length. I am thinking about getting some help with my swimming stroke. I mean I can swim, I just think I can increase my stroke and my technique. I don't have allot of $$ though so we will see.

The last couple of days have been like this.
Up at 6:15 with Mandy, Have juice and breakfast. Head out to the pool for my swimming. Then head home, eat, study then school. After school, get home and eat. Prep for dinner, prepare juice for next day. Head out for run. Get back home, eat dinner, study. Try to fit some time to actually talk to Mandy.

I got to tell ya, I really enjoy this. I mean I am doing stuff I really like, I am putting everything I have into everything I am doing. If I fail, or fall, or suck. At least I know I honestly did my best. It's weird. I think I am enjoying things. It has been a long time since I was this content.

Mandy's birthday is coming up. I will blog my gift to her and some surprises I have already for tomorrow. She does read the blog so I have to be carefull. Anyway I got to study........then run.........

Triathlon Training Started in Earnest.

2007-05-16T17:53:00.000-07:00

Here is the latest news. Mandy has moved in, school has started, training for the Triathlon is one day old.

So yesterday I went for a swim at the Canada Games Pool.

I had a 300 yard swim, and realized that I may be able to run forever, I can bike even longer, but my swimming sucks. I mean I can swim, but man was that exhausting. I am thinking about getting some swim training. My form is OK but I think I need a little fine tuning, OK allot of fine tuning.

I was feeling pretty good after the swim and my class was cancelled by the teacher, so I thought I would throw in a short 6kl run. So I headed out to the New Westminster Quay.

It was nice run, a little cloudy, but warm without being to warm. I am predicting a very hot summer this year.

I was having some issue with my Garmin 305 picking up a satellite signal. Turns out there was an update for both the software, and the actual signal receiver. I only updated one part. I played with it today after updating and it works awesome. I am looking forward to using on my bike as I have only done that once. I purchased the Cadence Sensor for my 305 while I was working for the Running Room.

I will be using it tomorrow on my first bike ride in my Tri training.

Other Tri News, I had to return my Backpack I got from Rocket Science Sports. There were some minor issues with it. Let me tell ya not only were there no questions asked, but I got a pair of water bottles and a T-Shirt from them. Hear is there link http://www.rocketsciencesports.com/ What an awesome company. Rarely do you get a good product, at a good price, that treats you well, and stands by there product. Can't say enough good things about my experience with them. Here is a picture of my pack.

School is going good, I am in my second week. I have my first semester Psych teacher who rocks. Does a good teacher ever make a difference. I am retaking this semester as I overwhelmed myself last semester. Between school, work, training, nasty neighbors, and the government, I got my ass kicked. So I have licked my wounds and I am back into it. Not working, not teaching a clinic, new neighbors, and a great couple of teachers.

Mandy has moved in and that is a great help. I am able to focus on school, and training. I have a lot of help with things like shopping, laundry, and organizing. Simple things like remembering to the laundry can over whelm me. So to have some assistance on the daily issues really makes a difference. We also have a truck we have put back on the road so that makes it easier to get around. We only use it when we have a big shop to do, or on the weekends when we want to go visit someone. Also with the freaking price of gas, it is so much cheaper to bus, or run, or ride a bike.

The wedding planning is continuing, it is crazy how time just flows buy. Even when you don't remember it.

I had a CT scan the other week, and I have "Sleep Deprived EEG" to figure out what is going on my head. The headaches have gone down a bit, but I still get some weird smells now and then.

That is about it, I need to go study now.

Vancouver Sun Run 2007, Wheat Grass, Starting the Triathlon Training

2007-04-18T21:05:00.000-07:00

Well the Sun Run is over; my finish time was 1:10:46 I was the 22340 person to finish. It was a total blast this year, and I was not tripped by little old lady this time. I ran with Mandy, Junko, and Mathew. Mathew and I trained at the Running Room. I was the instructor for the clinic, and he was a client. He is also Mandy’s cousin. We stuck together for the most part, but we got a little separated near the end.

It was crazy busy, there were 54,317 people there. You spend most of your time trying not to run into someone else, and I spent a lot of the time yelling at people “Walkers to the Right” over and over again. It was a really good time. We all jumped on the skytrain (after some drama as to which skytrain) and then we went to Mandy's and had a great breakfast by here mom.

My neighbors upstairs are gone. What a drama that was, on the day that legally, they were to be out, the Landlord and I entered the suite. We find they had not packed anything up. As we are going through the suite wondering what to do, one of the tenants came home. He apparently was never informed by the other tenants he was evicted. He works for a moving company so was able to get his stuff out by the next day.

The property owners are now looking for other tenants, but being a little more causes as to whom they rent too.

I have had a weird couple of weeks. I showing some sines of depression, and made an appointment to see my Dr. I quit work, and stopped school. I wound up sitting in my bed and trying to get the energy to run, or bike, or anything. However, the crap that has gone on in the last few months completely over whelmed me. Therefore, I made an appointment to see my Dr. and have been referred to a Neurologist. There is some concern that the neurons in my head may be miss firing. He does not think I am depressed, but may have developed some OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and need to have my brain looked at.

I am also getting my Tattoo finished, and I am going to have an older tattoo I had from a previous relationship removed. When I was 16, I got a Tattoo of a girl's name on my chest. I know, I know. Hey what can I say, I did a few drugs back in the day, and I was probably stoned. Anyway, I do not really want to have another girls name on me when I marry Mandy and I am sure Mandy does not want me to have it any more either. My first hint was when she was trying to scratch it out of me the other night.

So I am going to have some laser surgery done to soften up the color, and then place a new tattoo over top of it. I am much more finiky of what I get put on my body these days so I am maybe going to put a fish on it. Mandy and I are thinking maybe a Koy Fish, I will update this down the road.

One cool thing is my Wheat Grass came. In previous posts I talked about my Vita-Mixer, and how I loved making my own whole food juices. Well I got addicted to wheat grass when I was in Toronto last year. I also got a little tired of paying $1.50 a shot for it. So I asked at the local Juggo Juice who there supplier was, and called the dude. It is $12.00 for a tray of wheat grass. I will get about 20-30 shots of wheat grass for that. Instead of the $45.00, it would cost to buy the same amount at the juice store.

I am also starting my Triathlon training in the coming weeks. I am going to get my but up and moving. Start the swimming, biking, and running. I will be focusing on school only this semester and not working, or instructing a clinic, if I still struggle than this will mean that the courses I have chosen are not for me, and I will reevaluate what I am doing.

Mandy is moving in at the end of the month, so that will help with things like, cooking, shopping, laundry etc. It will also help financially as I will not be working. We have a limited amount of space in this little bachelor pad. I have no doubts we will make this work.

I am having more issues with Social Service. I have to declare my income each month as this determines how much support I receive from them for my disability income. So last semester I received a $200.00 grant from an unknown donor. I declared that on my form, as exactly that. I received in the mail today the form returned for reasons that “$200.00 from donor? Do you mean a loan or gift? Explain and return form"

So I went to the Oxford dictionary online, and wrote on the form

Grant
• Noun 1) a sum of money given by a government or public body for a particular purpose. 2) The action of granting something. 3) Law a legal conveyance or formal conferment.

I then went to Social Service stood in line and handed it in. It is so stupid that they make it so difficult to work, or try and earn an income. As a person with disability, I receive a certain amount of money from the government. I want to work for two reasons, 1) I get bored not working and 2) I want to add to my total income. When I was working 1 day a week. I increased the amount of money I had each month by about $60-$80, for every dollar I earn they reduce the amount of support I receive. Which I am totally down for. The problem with this though, has been the process of declaring your income, I have had nothing but problems doing this. The amount of time, the line-ups, the treatment, the insults, the frustration. It really isn’t worth the extra money each month to work. So I quit the job.

This, at the end of the day, means that the taxpayers pay more money for me not to work. Crazy. I have written our local government, I have written Social Service, the newspapers, I have blogged about this, and it is so stupid.

Anyway with not working, not teaching a clinic, having the neighbors gone, and Mandy living with me. I am expecting a much better GPA this semester. I will be starting my Triathlon training so keep checking out the post

I can't live with my neighbors anymore.

2007-03-27T14:22:00.000-07:00

This is a copy of my apartment complaints. I am going to head to the police office to pick up a copy of the police complaints I have made via the Freedom of Information Act. It has been confirmed that the tenants above me will not be hear. It has be reconfirmed by my landlord Raj (daughter of owner) This does not mean however that the tenants will be moved out. It has been really strange. I thought the landlord was getting a sheriff, I mean that is what I understood. Now it appears I am getting a different story. At the end of the day, it has been confirmed that they are out at the end of the month. If this turns out not be true, Then I am gone.

Even if I move; I still have to give 30 days notice, and buy the time I finish looking at places, and disconnect everything, pack my stuff, get it all moved, unpack, change my address. I am out allot of time and money. I have my finals coming up.....It's not just that, it takes me so long to remember what key is for my door, what bus I have to catch. Where is the grocery store. I don't know. I am starting to get extremely depressed. I feel like no matter what I do there is no good option. I just want to live in a safe place, and focus on school, the wedding, the Triathlon.

It makes me wonder though, as since my accident I have felt extremely stressed. I do know that last semester, was difficult, but was also doable. This semester my stress is overwhelming. School is kicking my ass, work is stressing me out, the apartment is taking it's toll on me, social service is also stressful. I mean it's enough to make me wonder if it's the way I am inputting the information. I don't think the world is out to get me, but when you are constantly frustrated, and feels like whenever something good happens, 6 bad things happen. I just want a routine, a calm routine, with some sort of stability. Hell maybe I am nuts. I don't know. I just feel so frustrated, and so useless. It seems like whats the point, why not just sit back and live of disability, less stress, consistency. I don't know. Here is a list I made of all my complaints. One good thing about the brain injury is I right everything down.

Apartment complaints since I moved in July 6th

1. July 24, 2006. Front door left open twice, very loud upstairs, told them @ 10:00 am to keep door closed, woke up again at 2:45 am as I can hear people talking at front door. I get up to check and they have propped the door open again. I un prop the door. Suite #3
2. August 9th, 2006, 3:57 am person just outside my window, yelling upstairs to throw a key down. They just jump onto the deck. Suite #3
3. August 10th 2006 Door propped open again. I close it
4. August 20th, 9:00p.m. Male yelling to have keys thrown down. From room above me. Suite #3
5. August 1st 2006: People yelling on the street Barking. Guy upstairs yells back and then throws keys out several people come into the building. Stereo goes on loud 10:29pm Suite #3
6. August 9th 2006: 3:47 am African American Male, standing just outside my window, says his cousin lives in the suite above me. He keeps yelling for tenant. I tell him to either buzz or phone him, but needs to leave the property Suite #3
7. August 10th, 2006 10:03p.m. Door opens no loud click as it closes. This is suspicious, can usually hear door close. Go outside, and look, same male as was outside last my window last night, leaving lobby, and door is propped open with news paper. I close it Suite #3
8. August11th, 2006, 12:46a.m. Constant knows from people one floor up, and across from me. Yelled twice to be quite. 2nd Friday in a rough.Suite #2
9. August 13th 2006 9:30 p.m. Male yelling to be let inside, sliding glass door from suite above me opens, Keys are thrown down. Suite #2
10. August 17, 2006 11:00 smoke coming in windows go outside worried about fire, 2nd floor has barbecue going unattended, fire coming off, but within barbecue. Lots of smoke. I close my windows. Don’t sleep very well Suite #2
11. August 25, 2006 11:55 Constant noise from tenants who need to pay rent. Same as BBQ on deck, guests stand outside and scream, they sit on deck and get loud and drunk. Yell at cars, and people passing. I put in ear peaces Suite #2
12. September 1st, 2006: 3:25 am. Laundry door opens; light gets turned on, someone doing laundry. Doors closing, very loud Suite #2 (baby clothes upon inspection)
13. September 9th 2006, 6:00am Three males yelling on deck above me and over one. I went outside and yelled to be quit. No response. I did it again, and a group of Males start giggling. They became verbally abusive, Start arguing with me, told me to shut up and go inside. Advice I will call the landlord. They tell me to fuck off. I call landlord. They do become quite. 10 minutes later, someone is buzzing to there door. They are buzzed inside, but don’t put down the mouth there intercom system. So you can hear them through the speakers out the front door. I try to buzz it, but no response. Can hear constant noise from there apartment as the intercom is left on. Suite #2
14. November 23rd 10:05 Screaming male outside. Very loud. Front door opens constant noise of a group of people entering. Very upset, people screaming, and yelling, sounds like someone injured. I go outside as the noise is really loud, want to see who is entering the building. I get to lobby and there is group of 4 people, 1 white male, 5’11, and one female 5, 2. Pulling on door. Yelling at me to open it. I say no. I don’t know who they are. Girl gets really angry. Buzzes room above me. She is screaming, “my boyfriend was stabbed” Door is buzzed open at least 8 people head upstairs. I go back to my room. I Call Raj. Police and or ambulance (see the flashing lights through my blinds) Suite #3
15. November 25th 2006 1:30am Screams from girls outside, as tenants above throw snowballs at them. Door slams and noise from above as a group of kids come in and out of the building. Suite #3
16. December 23rd 2006 1:30-3:00am very loud banging at about 1:30am not consistent, fell asleep then at 3:00am very loud banging, liked door being slammed close repeatedly
17. January 8th 2007 Up late with constant noise, closed my windows, and put on ear peaces Suite #3
18. 4:32 pm ex tenant (the ones evicted) are sitting in the lobby, with baby stroller. Looking for his check from government. I advice he needs to leave, and to contact the post office.
19. January 20th, 2007: 12:28 Constant noise from unit #3 people yelling, music loud, argument in the lobby, yelling and screaming. Female and male arguing at front door. Very loud. I tell them to argue somewhere else. Male tells me to “chill out”
20. January 25th 2007 two females outside window @ 12:07 loud yelling. Room above me opens deck door and they climb up. very loud yelling for to get attention of room above me
21. January 30th Raj says eviction giving to Suite #3
22. Feb 5th, left message for Raj to advice what’s happening with eviction of Suite #3
23. February 8th, 10:45. Van parked outside, door propped open, people moving items upstairs. To suite across from #3 the new tenants. I advice them it’s way to late to be moving in.
24. Feb 13th Raj called and requested I go to room across from #2 and collect rent check. I returned call to Raj, Tenant says no check from government for rent, also had me go ask for post dated cheque's, tenant says bank hasn't given her cheque’s yet, passed message on to Raj
25. March 1st Raj entered Unit #3 as no answer, has given final eviction notice
26. March 7, 2007 Dryer not working, leave message for Raj on her cell
27. March 9th, 2007 1:00am black Honda civic with three mails, parked outside. Heard very loud whistling. Three mail cross the street to get attention, of girls, they come down stairs go outside smoke weed or are passing a cigarette around all five people that makes them cough. Call police but car leaves before it arrives.
28. March 9th, 2007 2:00 am same car back again, sitting across the street. Called police again, stereo is so loud, I can hear it inside my apartment. They stand outside and try to get the attention of the girls again.

These were the numbered notes above were from my day planner, and palm pilot. These were the ones I imputed with a date and time. The notes below are from my palm pilot, but from the note section. With no specific time or date.

Memo’s from my palm pilot

Noise upstairs, loud music, loud voices, Thumping, banging, girls screaming, went up stairs to ask them to quite down, unit #3 people across the hall from them having a party, said sorry, but within 10 minutes noise is back I called police and landlord, 14 people leave, when police come. People back 10 minutes later. Whole building smells like weed, and cigarettes. Another group comes at about 2:00 am

Friday 12:30 two females yelling outside, male opens deck they climb up from outside, group of teens standing outside apartment very loud, holding door open, while yelling at friends in car parked on street.

Very loud banging up stairs, 12:44 am, Man yelling, woke up sound moved threw the apartment. Then a huge bang and a scream. Sounded like a female, scream sounded bad then a huge thud. Banging stopped but stereo was turned on. Called 911 as really horrible scream. Police come, but tenants won’t open door. Police eventually get in. Find female’s and groups of people in apartment.

1:40 Fire alarm going off, black car (possible a CRV) pulling away got crappy video of car leaving, car has a loud muffler.

Police hear till 3:29 am Tenants in room #3 would’t open door. When police knocked for what seemed like hours. I am getting very frustrated

Saw tenant above me on bus on my way home from school. He laughs at me. Like he is enjoying how difficult they are being. I don’t want to go home. We get off bus at same stop. I walk away.

That is the information I am making for my landlord. It was really interesting to put all the notes together. Makes me wonder why I am still here.

A Day in the Life of a Traumatic Brain Injury Survivor!!

2007-03-25T13:10:00.000-07:00

Alarm goes off at 8:30a.m. I hear the alarm, I don't know if it's built into me, or what part of the brain it's in, but there is a primordial response in the brain that knows exactly where the snooze button is. Brain Injury or not. I look at the time. It's 8:30 a.m. I know it's a.m. because it's light outside, and I would never be asleep at 8:30 p.m. I snooze, I don't really sleep, I lye in bed, and try to figure out where I am.

I am aware I am in my apartment, I do know this. I am thirsty, I need water. It seems there is a glass of water next to the bed, exactly where I would look for it.
Even upon waking, I am aware that I have a brain injury, that I have a disability. I don't know if its because I have spent over a year with this injured brain, or if it is just embedded in me. I just know I am not 100 percent. There is something off. Like a clouding in your sight.

I also know that I have something to do. Why else would I be up at 8:30a.m. My brain goes through all the possibilities of what I have to do. Mandy, Wedding, Parents, School, work, run with my clinic, am I meeting someone, do I have an appointment. I don't know. I wonder if I left myself a note. I look around to where I think a note would be. I find one, it's my palm pilot.

I do know that I use that to tell me what to do for the day. I turn it on, and look at the day. What day is it? I know what time it is, but what day is it. I turn on my TV to the channel guide, channel #2 where I live. It says it's Tuesday March 20Th. OK I look at that date on my palm pilot. It says I have to see Jackie at 10:00, she is my Disability worker at Douglas. It says, Biology at 12:30, then Math at 2:30, I have a 3kl run with my clinic at the running room at 6:30.

I put down the palm pilot and head to the bathroom, as I walk to the shower, I see my coffee maker. I think I would like some coffee, so I open it up to add some new coffee to it. There is new coffee in it, it looks like there is water to. I look at my mug, and see some sugar in it. No milk though, but that makes sense, it would go bad, if it was in there last night. When I obviously got this ready. I will remember to put milk in it, when it's ready.

As I look around the kitchen I see a juice maker (see prev entry's about my Juicer). I think it would be good to make a juice, I like juice. I think I have had this before. I wonder if I have fruit to put into it. I open the fridge. It seems there is a bowl in the fridge with a bunch of fruit, all ready to be put in to the juicer. Awesome.

I put in the juice, and start the juicer. I see a small bowl, with some vitamins and other pills in it. I figure there for me. There is no one else here. I pop my pills, my juice is done. I drink the juice. I figure that I should probably clean it now as I will forget to do it later. When I finish my cleaning the juice, my coffee is done. I have a sip, tastes weird. I forgot to add milk. I do that now. I sip my coffee, I see I have cleaned my juicer, so I must have used it.

What am I doing? I have something to do, why else would I would be up. I look at my palm. I have to see Jackie at Douglas at 10:00. What time is it now? I look at the clock, it's 8:49. I wonder how long it takes to get to Douglas. I do know I am busing, as I don't have a car.

I go to my computer to look up the bus schedule online. There is a note, that says "Douglas by 10:00 am" and says which bus # to catch at which time, it tells me "the bus stop up from your apartment" that makes sense. It must bus just outside my apartment. I wonder what time it comes. Again I look at the note. It is stated that the bus comes at 9:29. I wonder what time it is now. It's 8:51. I should shower.

I head into the shower, and look at the mirror. Looks like I shaved the night before. I see a toothbrush, it reminds me to brush my teeth. I get into the shower, I need to read the shampoo labels, is it shampoo first, and conditioner second? or conditioner first, and shampoo later. No; shampoo cleans, conditioner conditions.

I get out of the shower, I brush my teeth. It's weird I think I already did this. I feel like some coffee, and notice a coffee mug, I pick it up and it's warm. I have some coffee. What am I doing?

I look at my palm. Jackie 10:00am right, I got it. I wonder what time the bus comes, I notice a post it note at the computer, and see that I have already planned this. I should get dressed. I notice some close laid out by the closet. Pants, shirt, undies, socks,shoes. OK what am I doing? I look at my palm. Jackie 10:00 am. right.

I have class after that I notice, biology, and math. I think I need books for those. I can't find them. I see a backpack, I look into it, and see a math book, and a biology book. Plus a laptop, and some pencils and pens, paper etc. OK I am good.

Where am I going? I am going somewhere, I have my backpack on, and clothes on. I look at my palm pilot. Jackie 10:00 am. Right. OK. Did I eat? I must have, I see my juicer. I wonder what I will eat later. Should I make a lunch, it looks like I will be in school for a while, lunch seems like a good idea. I head to the kitchen. I open the fridge to see what I have. I see a Zip lock container, it has Yogurt, Granola, and it looks like some fruit in it. I think I have had this before. I think I like it. It looks like a good lunch. Plus there is a spoon, and hand wipes with it. I see some more vitamins. I look at them, these must be taken with food. OK I will take them with me and take them at lunch. What am I doing again? I look at my palm pilot. Right, Jackie at 10:00 am.

OK I have close on, I have a backpack with school stuff in it, I have lunch, I have a post it note with my bus schedule in it. I have my cell phone, I check to make sure I am wearing shoes. I unpack my backpack to make sure I have everything again. OK I do. I head outside. I stand outside my door. Do I have keys? crap, I head back in. OK keys are there, next to the keys is a bus pass. OK lets go. Where am I going? Right Jackie at 10:00. What time is it now? 9:19 I have a bus to catch. What time does it come? 9:29 right. OK lets go.

I stand outside my door. Holding my door before it closes completely. Do I have keys. I feel my pocket, OK I have keys, I close the door.

I head outside, I know I am going to catch a bus, but which bus? which way am I going? What time is it? I look at my post it note. I see it's the bus by my apartment. I know where that is. I head to it. I feel like some coffee. I will buy some at school. I stand at the bus stop.

I think of Mandy, I can't remember her phone number so I look in my contact list, and see Mandy, with three phone numbers. Home, Work, Cell. I call the cell. No answer. I don't leave a message, I think she is at home. I call her at home. Her grandma answers. "Mandy not home" I say thank you and hang up. I call her at work. "Mandy speaking" I say hello, and tell her about my day. I tell her I have school. She is aware of this. She asks me if I found out about my student loans. I don't think I have, what did I need to know.
"you need to find out when to apply, last semester you left it to long"
I don't remember this. I tell her
"I should ask the lady at school, the disability lady" I say.
she says "Jackie".
"yeah! that's her" I reply

I should make an appointment to see her. I should put that in my palm pilot before I forget. As I am entering in the data into my palm I see the name of my worker. I see her at 10:00 am. Good, I need to talk to her. I go to add a note to my palm about what questions I have for her. I see I have already done this. OK that's good.

Mandy is talking to me about a concert she went to with her sister. A school one, it must be her sisters school. Mandy isn't in school anymore. I tell her I love her, and I see my bus coming. Do I have money for the bus. I look into my pocket, I find a bus pass. I get on the bus.

I look at the palm again to tell me where I am going. Right school. Ok. It's a short bus ride, I recognize where I am, I have been here before. There is the school. I can see it from here. I hike up the hill, and up the stairs. I am at the school. I need coffee.

I go and get a coffee, I fill up the To Go cup, and head to the cashier to buy a coffee, when I go to grab my wallet that is in my backpack, I see I have a travel mug with coffee already in it, in the water holder part of the backpack. It's full of warm coffee. I am standing at the till, the lady at the till is looking at me expecting money. I feel stupid. I realize I forgot I had a coffee. I don't know why this bugs my, but I am embarrassed, so I pay for the coffee. What am I going to do with two cups of coffee. I fill it up with my cream and sugar, and head out.

I know I am going somewhere but I can't remember where. I put down my two coffee's and look at my palm. Jackie, 10:00am. OK it's 9:55.I start walking. Wait where am I going? Where is Jackie? I put my coffee's down again, and look at the note part of the Jackie task. It tells me her room #, I head there.

Someone says hello to me as I am walking up the steps to the next floor. I say hello, they ask me how I did on my Biology test. I had a Biology test? I say I don't know, I haven't checked it yet. This gets an odd look from this person. They ask how Mandy is. I say she is good. I have no Idea who this person is, but I am used to that. I say "I have to head to ...uhm...." I can't remember where. Something to do at the school. Class? It must be I am at school. I say I am heading to class. I get to the top of the stairs, and I have no Idea where I am going. I put my coffee's down. Why do I have two coffee's. I look at my palm. Jackie, 10:00 am. It's 9:59. I see where to go. I pick up the coffee's, and head to her office, and say hello to the receptionist.

The receptionist seems to know me. I say hello, make small talk. I sit down. She asks who I am there to see. I forgot. I look at my palm. I say "Jackie" a little louder than I wanted to. It came out a little funky, Like a kid who is proud to have remembered a word.

I see a someone walking toward me, they smile, I smile back. "Hi David". I say "hello" they invite me to there office. This must be Jackie. She asks me how I am. I make small talk. I know I am there for a reason, but I can't remember why. I look at palm pilot. I see I need to find out about my student loans. We talk for awhile, and decide I need to talk to Financial aid. I log all the information into the palm the time's, the name of the person I need to see, question's I need to ask them. I set a time for the reminder to go off.

I say goodbye to Jackie, I had looked up what I have to do before I left her office, and head to Biology. I set up my laptop, voice recorder, and take in as much I can.

Once class is done, I head to math (I looked at my palm before the end of class) I pack up my gear, and know what floor I am going to. I notice I am hungry, and I have to pee after all that coffee, I have no Idea why I had two cups of coffee. I drank them anyway. I head to the bathroom. I don't like putting things down because I am afraid I will forget them. So I pack everything into my backpack, and pockets. I leave the bathroom. I have not Idea where I am, or where I need to go. OK I am in school. I have classes. I should look at my palm. I pull it out my pocket, and see the time, it says I have math. I note the room that it's in, and look at the numbers in the hallway. I am on the wrong floor. I can tell because my class is in a 400 #, the rooms around me are all labeled 300. I see the stairs, and walk to them. Am I going up or down? I look at my palm, I am going to 400, I am on 300, I need to go up. OK. I find my math class.

Math is good, I am doing OK for a brain injured guy. Funny thing about math, before my injury I sucked at math. I don't know why the brain injury made math easier and open ended and creative things harder, but it did make things like math easier for me. The brain is weird, especially mine.

Math finishes, and I pack up my stuff. I look at my palm and see I have to do some shopping for dinner, and for my juicer tomorrow. I head to the grocery store after school. This I can see from Douglas College.

I get to the grocery store, I have no idea why I am there, let alone what to buy. I open up my palm hoping that there is something on it. I see "grocery list" and look at it. A list of ingredients, milk, eggs, etc. I buy everything on the list, and head home. I get out of the grocery store, and head to a bus stop near buy. I don't know if this is my bus or not. I call transit. I am asked where I am, I can read the street signs from where I am, and I tell them my address (I had to look at it on my drivers license)

I get home and check my mail. There is a bill that says late. I am used to this, I often forget to make the payment if I don't do it as soon as I get the bill. So I boot the computer and go online. I pay the bill. I have to right on the bill that I paid it, or else sometimes I see it again, and pay it twice. I am pissed off at late payment charges. I check my emails, and see some of my clinic runners have some questions. I do my best to give them good information, and eat a sandwich. It's off to the run.

Which bus do I catch. Ah I see I have a post it note, with "running room on Tuesday by 6:30" on it. Awesome. I head out. I pass a neighbor on my way out. He has an African Rasta hat on. He looks at me funny. I say hello, he grunts and almost walks into me. I think I know him, but I am not sure. I don't think I like him. I can't remember why. I head to my bus. I go to the wrong bus stop. I am heading back to Douglas. I don't have school. I have to go to work. I have a clinic. I get off the bus, I look at my palm. I see a note on the palm. "bus info for clinic runs on Tuesday @ 6:30" it notes the bus to catch. I cross the street and wait for it. I have a lot of time. I always leave early, just in case.

I jump on my bus, I show my bus pass, and I sit down. My phone goes off, I answer.
"Dave?",
"yeah that's me"
"can you work on Thursday?"
"who is this?"
"it's Daniel"
"um I don't know I have to look at my schedule",
"well let me know as soon as possible".

I say OK. I look at my palm pilot and see I have school, and then tutoring. I can't work. I call work back
"I can't work, I have school and tutoring".
"can you miss tutoring?",
"uh....no I really need it, I don't think I am doing well in school",
"well we could really use you, and we are short people",
"I am really sorry, but school has to come first" She sounded disappointed.

I get to work, I am a little early. I reckognize my that my co-worker jen is there she says "hello" we gossip about work. I mention that I got a call from our manager (couldn't remember her name) about working. This starts a 10 minute conversation about our manager. I am glad I said no to working.

My clinic people are filling the store. People saying hello to me, asking me how school is going, how Mandy is doing. They seem to know that I have bad neighbors. I must have told them. I try as hard as I can to remember people, but it just doesn't work. So I let them all know I have a memory problem. With the way they respond, it looks like I have already told them this.

Some people act a little funny. It's like they don't know what to say. I make jokes about it. I say the benifit of a memory problem is I get to watch my favorite TV shows all over again. There is no such thing as a repeat. This usually reduces the tension. People feel like they can talk about it. Some people avoid me, and others still think that I will remember things. I try to explain that there is no rime or reason to my injury. I remember some things one day, but not the next, or at odd times a memory pops up. Other times when I need it most, it is just not accesable. I have good memory days, and bad memory days.

Today is a 3kl run, I had emailed my group the night before to let them know where we are going, I like the route because it's easy for me to remember, its a straight 3kl there and back kind of thing. We have a talk at the beginning of the clinic. I try my best to answer any questions, using what little I do have in my memory.

Running is a pretty easy thing to remember. One foot in front of the other. Shoes are important, socks. Eat the right foods. Don't eat a big meal before running. Stretch. If we are running only 3kl, it must be either fartleks, hill training, or a recovery run. So I think of the route, it's flat. So it can't be hills, It's also Tuesday, yesterday we didn't run, so it must be a recovery run. I do know our Sundays are always our long runs. So that firms it down. I go into a description of why we run the different distances, and how important they are....

We head out for our run, I start off with my fast group, and talk to them for a bit, I slow down and talk the next person, and I do this all the way down to the last person. I know that when I was training for the marathon with a clinic, I liked it when the instructor said hello, asked how your week is going, and just sort of touched base. I had seen a "bad" instructor at the Richmond running who was more interested in training himself, than being a leader. He was so fast that at the end of the run, he was the first one back, and the first one to leave. So I make an effort to say hello to everyone. I mean you paid for the clinic, you should get more than a shirt!!

The run finishes, I hang out at work for a bit, and check my palm for my bus route home. I walk to the bus stop, and call Mandy on the way. She has finished tutoring. I always forget she is tutoring and so it's nice when I get to talk to her. I bus home, and I want to relax, but I have a class tomorrow, and I haven't studied yet. While walking from the bus stop I see the same dude with the Rasta hat on his head. He is coming into the apartment with 4 other people, they are a half block in front of me. They look drunk or stoned, or both. Very loud, The girl's (I should call them children because of there age) are screaming. This I remember. I hate these guys, looks like another night, of bad music pounding, and screaming girls on the deck. I need to study.

I get home, and take off my close, and shower. I start to make dinner, doesn't take to long, but while I am boiling my pasta, I get my juice ready for the next day, I get my coffee ready, and get my lunch ready. I plan my route to school and leave it in post it notes around the house. My pasta is ready.

I eat, and study in bed. Try my best to understand what I am reading. It's going on 10:00 p.m. I know when I start re-reading the same sentence over and over again, it's time to turn off my brain.

I lock the laundry room door at 10:11p.m. I have had people walk down to the laundry room (its right next to my room) and start laundry at 10-11 at night. So the door opens, and closes, the dryer thumps, I had one guy sitting in there one day in his underwear, smoking a cigarette. So I now lock the entry to the laundry room at 10:00 and will open it tomorrow morning.

I get back inside, and pack all my stuff for tomorrow. I look up what class I have, and pack the appropriate books in my bag, I lay out my close so I won't have to it tomorrow. I map out my bus route, and right on a note pad what time I need to leave my apartment, and what bus I need to catch. I check my emails, and my fridge, making sure I don't need anything.

I call Mandy to say goodnight. We talk for a while. I am sure I whine about something. We talk about wedding stuff. I miss her. I just want to be in the same place as her, so we can actually talk in person, do some hard core snuggling. She mentions some important dates about her trip to china. I have my palm ready, and make sure I impute it. We say good night, and I watch my favorite show. "The Daily Show" and it is followed by "The Colbert Report" Midnight rolls around, and I turn off my TV I feel like I am ready for tomorrow.

The noise upstairs drives me bonkers. Constant people coming in and out of the building. I hear a big smash, outside the building. Sounds like someone throwing a bottle at the building. I am concerned that they damaged a window, mine are ok. I jump out of bed.

I sleep with a video camera near my bed to be able to capture some of the shit that goes on. (see prev posts) I see a car screeching away. It's red, but I can't remember what to call the car. I think about calling the police, but I have done this before, they ask me questions I can't answer. "what kind of car",
"I don't remember",
"what colour was it "
"It wasn't black, it wasn't wight and it wasn't green, I can see the colour in my head but I can't remember what you call it",
"was it going north or south"
" I have no Idea, it was going that way" I point my hand
"what is your address sir?"
" I don't know. I can look at my drivers license and see"
"you don't know your address sir?"

This is why I don't call the police. I would be a bad witness, that's what the camera is for. I try to go back to sleep, but the noise upstairs is driving me nuts. It is not a consistent loud noise, its more sporadic, a huge bang.....then nothing...a scream....then nothing.....a few thumps in a row......nothing...." The last time I look at the clock its about 4:00 am.

I wake up in the morning, I have no Idea where I am. I hit the snooze button, it starts all over again.

Mandy makes a good replacement Temporal Lobe. If your in the market for one. I highly recomend a Mandy.

A Fast and Dirty Blog Entry

2007-03-19T23:56:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy few weeks. I am really having fun with my 10kl clinic. A great group of runners. I never thought I would enjoy it is much as I did. I never thought I would enjoy seeing people push themselves, and achieving things they didn't think they could do. I don't know if it's because I know how hard it is to run as far as we do, but it's also forcing yourself to run on days when you would rather do anything but run, or early on Sunday's in the rain....Truly a cool thing. I only wish I could have given more time to the group. I tried to use as much as I could, but with school, and work, and not sleeping because of the idiots above me.

Mandy is off in China right now, she is there with her Mom, and Sister, and a group of class mates from Junko's school (Mandy's sister) My parents are in town and have been able to join me for a couple of Sunday runs. School is still kicking my ass, but I have resolved that even if I don't pass it's OK. I am attending first year college after many years of being out of school, plus adding a brain injury to the equation. Not to mention the stress of living in this crack house.

Speaking of crack house. Here is the latest on the tenants above me. At the beginning of the month they were given there eviction notice. They had 5 days to dispute it, which they did not. But they still have not left, the landlord says they have to file with a sheriff to physically remove them from the building, and that takes about 15-20 days. At a few hundred dollars to. So it is very frustrating for the other 5 tenants in the building, because it comes out like these guys can do what they want, with no punishment. I do believe (and I know from my old days) that living like this does catch up with you. Most of the time. It's funny because once the frustration turns to anger, the anger eventually turns to feeling sorry for them. You wonder when the demands come for them, they must be pretty intense. What I really liked was the landlords Dad was talking to them tonight, and they played a race card on him. Saying the only reason they are being evicted is because they are black. Now you have to realize that my Landlord and her Dad are East Indian. The Dad's English is very limited. So it was funny to see a black guy calling the brown guy a racist, while me, the white guy, is right there. I mentioned that the fact that we was black had nothing to do with the reason they are being evicted, it was the lack of rent, the threats, the almost weekly calls to the police, the drugs, the illegal tenants, the spray paint, and the breaking into the electrical room to mess with there hydro, the stealing TV cable lines, the destruction of property. Was more likely the issue, not the race. It hasn't been as loud, but still I don't feel save in my place. It's not even that I don't feel save, it's that I don't feel relaxed. I feel stressed. Every day as I come home from school, or work, or a run, I am nervous. I don't feel secure. So add to the natural crap that live can throw at ya, and I tell ya, it's a wonder I haven't malled a midget in anger, or freaked out and climbed a clock tower with a rifle.

As far as moving out goes, if they have not left by the time I am done this semester I will be moving out. I want to move out now, but with school, work, and instructing the clinic, while trying to do wedding stuff, and train for the triathlon. Moving at this point is not going to happen.

Getting used to my new equipment has been fun. The computer, the voice recorder, the programs. I truly love technology. Technology and Sports.....I wonder if there is a job that fuses the two. Maybe car racing....anyway I am distracting myself.

Filled out my next semesters worth of student loans. I have to call them tomorrow to make sure I filled it out right. Anyway I am tired.

Technological help for the Traumatic Brain Injury survivor

2007-02-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

All I can say is WOW. I am a little over whelmed at all the equipment I received from Assistive Technology's Grant I applied for last semester. Here is a picture of some of the stuff, the hard ware

It is the software though, that is crazy, I have a program called Inspiration, I don't know how to explain it. I am trying to upload an image I can make but it's a little harder than I thought. I haven't spent to much time on it. All I can say is it's like my board. I can put in a main theme, and then link things to it.
Here is the website for Inspiration http://www.inspiration.com/ I just don't have the words to explain it. It also comes with a spell check program, that works independently in the computer. What that means is even as I type this there is the Blogger spell check, but I can click on this even right now, and it spell checks any program I am currently running. It also makes sure I have use the right word. For example sometimes I type the word phonetically. So I want so say psychology, and I type sikologie, or aphasia, and i type afashia. Sometimes the word to can be to, two, too. I get confused where if goes. So it can check that I have used the right "to,too,two". It also speaks to me. So I can hear what I just typed now, and see if it makes sense when I hear it. I can also play a document I have downloaded from school and hear it, on top of seeing it. As I type my word documents or essay's I can play them back to myself. It's very cool.

I received a digital voice recorder as well. So I can sit in class and record the lectures, and download it. I can then search the voice documents for words the teacher may have said, or try to find the different places that word may have been said.

I got a printer, and a really cool Language Master, that kind of looks like a calculator but I can type in words and will repeat them out loud, kind of like a Steven Hawkins voice.

The Laptop is a Dell Latitude, Core Duo, it is made to be able run several programs at once. I purchased a digital router ($44.59) and hooked it up at home. So I can sit in my bed with the laptop but still be able to have my old computer to access the Internet, and run other programs.

The point being I can go to class, set up my computer and record the whole class, both by sound, and video. So when I get home I can go back over the class. It's so cool. I even got a backpack that fits all my school books, and the computer.

On a side note, I have made my message at home from my Language Master. So it sounds like a computer voice.....I am a little weird. I wonder if I can download audio files to the blog? mmm Anyway it's really cool.

My grades have gone up from 3/20, to 15/20 in Biology. I have a midterm next week. I haven't even started my psychology paper yet. I am kicking ass in Math.

The neighbors above me are still intense, they have been a little quieter, and have till the end of the month to get out. My landlord called me to ask how I felt if they stayed longer. Apparently they are finding it difficult to find a place, in the same price range, by the end of the month. While I totally get that it's hard. They are not the ones who have to live next to them. They are constantly having large groups of teens over, party's till 4 or 5 in the morning. When you try to talk to them, they threaten you, and insult you. They have had the police hear night after night. They have had so many chances, we are beyond a second chance, which I am totally all about, even a third if there is good intent. This would be a 13th or 14th chance. Plus they don't seem to have any remorse. The only time they show any remorse is when it is hard for them to find a new place, or it's in there best interest. So I told the landlord if they stay even for an extra 15 days, it sends the signal that it's OK. There is no consequence. To add to that, I really don't give a shit. If I hadn't been threatened, If I didn't have to put up with them night after night, maybe I would have some feelings toward it.

The wedding planning is going on. Mandy has found a dress, and is very excited. What is hard is to not be to involved in sertain aspects of the wedding. I want to be involved, and be suportive, but there is some stuff I just can't do.

Over all this week has been better, new toy's, my clinic is doing great, It was an intense few last weeks. There were times when I wanted the world to slow down so I could catch up. I just kept on showing up. Things are looking a little more positive!! Yeah

Sun Run Training Clinic

2007-02-11T16:19:00.000-08:00

This is a photo of the 10kl clinic group on our 8kl Sunday run. The half marathon group ran with us today, as they were short a clinic instructor. They had a 9kl run today, and the 10kl clinic had a 8 kl run. We wound up running about 8.4kl to try and meat in the middle. The weather was perfect for a nice 10 and 1 run. It was cold to start, but dry. The rain came out perfect just as we all got back to the Running Room.

It was quit a site to see all the people from the 2 groups running down the street. I got a little slack on the run route today, as there were some hills added in. In my defense I didn't plan the route! I was using a pre-planned route from one of the other runners at the Running Room.

For a few of the runs I have been biking in before hand. It's an ideal 5kl ride from my house to the Running Room. So I get a nice 10k bike ride and then, depending on the days run, up to about a 10kl run.

I am still finding fitting school/training/work hard to fit in. One thing I forgot about running is how it grounds me. I am putting all I have into everything going on each day, so I can only do what I can do. My mood is a little better about school. If I try my hardest, and can't "get" the class. This may be a sign that it's not for me.

I slept like crap last night. I don't know why, it was quite, I was rested, my neighbors have been fairly quite. There have been no police for a couple of nights. They have been evicted and half to be out by the end of the month.

Mandy was not violent during her sleep attacks on me ;) I think I am still in shock at how much more is going on this semester. I have rescheduled my week, so it was the first week at the new schedule, of less hours at work, one forced rest day, and then two days of tutoring. I am looking forward to next week, I have two days off school, so I will be catching up on my reading, and studying. I just want to find my feet again, and feel like I am in a position to take information in.

I am waiting for a laptop to come from Assisted Technology's. It's a grant I receive that provides me with some tools to put myself at an even keel for school. I am hoping this week goes a little better than last, but I am not expecting much. It's been a constant few weeks of crap. I must say again if it wasn't for my time with Mandy, and my running/biking. I think my head would have swelled inside my skull again. I have been looking in my mail everyday for the last week as I am excited about the Chicago Marathon Book to come. They did a little interview of me and what I have been through and I am apparently in it. So in a way I feel weird yet I am excited at the same time. That is another blog entry at another time about how we focus on what tragedy's people overcome, instead of the people who work just as hard every day and never get noticed. But then I think I would complain about winning the lottery. Why not 1.2 million instead of 1 million.......

Overwhelmed, and Tired

2007-02-07T13:12:00.000-08:00

Well it's been a little while since I updated my blog. Here is what is new; I am failing two of my three classes at Douglas. I am arguing with the government about my disability income. I have put up with the tenants upstairs, partying night after night. I have been threatened. There has been another tenant beat up. We have had the police here 4 nights in a row. We had some little punk pull the fire alarm in the building and then jump in his car and take off at 1:45 am in the morning.

We have had night after night of noise from the punks above me. There is a constant group of 14 to 18 people in a one-bedroom apartment, all about 16-18 years old. Now I am no moral authority, I really don't give a crap what you do. But when you wake me up, when I have to go up there night after night, when I get threatened, and yelled at by some 16 year old chick, who wants to see "her man" fight me. I call and wake up my landlord. I call the cops.

After calling the cops, I then got a nice "your a f*&%'ing rat" comments from these really tough, little small town white girls that think there gangster. You are from Canada people. You are White. You are not a "gangster", you would survive about 3 seconds in a major city, or gang infested area. Plus you are not my blood, your not my friends, if calling the cops when I get threatened makes me a rat, then your damn right I am a rat.

I started training a 10kl clinic at the running room, as I have had to take more time off work to focus on school. I am really enjoying running again, and I love running with a group of people. Being a clinic leader is definitely a learning curve, and it's allot more than just mapping the runs, and going out with a group of people. It is also going to help with the reduced income I have, as account of my having to drop shifts at work.

As far as school is going, it's had its ups and downs. I got really sick a little over a weak ago. I was either throwing up, or had massive diarrhea depending on the time of day. It completely overwhelmed me. I couldn't run, couldn't go to school. It was intense. I tried to use the time I was sitting in my bed at home to at least read, but my brain was so foggy I couldn't take in the information.

So I feel like I am a week behind in classes, and trying to catch up. The classes are moving at such a high rate of speed. I am taking a Biology class that is very intense, and I forgot to add my lab times into my schedule. It's another 8-12 hours per week. I just literally don't have enough time to do everything that needs to be done.

I had the worst day ever on the week I was sick. I tried to get to school, and made it to my Biology class. Just as class was starting I felt myself getting ready to puke. So I run to the bathroom, and vomit all over. Come back to class as it's starting and the teacher takes one look at me and sends me home. I had received a message from the government about my disability check a day or so before, and they required some additional information about my income and were withholding my cheque until they received it. I head to the office on the way home, dressed like crap, and feeling horrible, but thinking I have some free time might as well get this done.

I wait in line, and talk to a worker, who says I have not giving them the correct information. I let her know that I had given them all school, and income documents a month ago, just to avoid a situation like this. She advises me they don't have the information. She has me wait to talk to someone else. I wait in line (20 minutes) and wait to see some dude. I fill him in on the situation, and he says they have no documents of my income for the previous months, or my student loans. I tell them to write exactly what information they require and I will go get it.

I let the gentleman know I have a memory problem, so that is why I need it written it down. He laughs, and makes a comment that "I wish I could get money from the government for my poor memory to" This is the same guy who has said "I wish I could my poor memory declared a disability to" a few months ago. This pisses me off, but I take the letter and head back to school.

I wait in line at the Financial Aid department, and speak to a lady there. I tell her I need this information; she says they already gave it to me last month. I tell her I know, but the government doesn't have it so I need another copy. I head back down to social service. (the financial aid people at Douglas rock)

I wait in line (20 minutes) and talk to a different lady and explain why I am there. She takes my information and tells me to sit down. An hour goes buy. I get up and ask her how much longer it will be. She says that I have already been seen? I advise her I have not. She finds this humorous.

Now remember I am very sick. I should be at home. She looks at the information and tells me it is not the required information. I let her know (showing her the letter her co-worker rote) that this is exactly what I was told to get. She says it's not. I am getting frustrated. I clarify with her, exactly what I need. I head back to Douglas.

I wait in line at the Financial Aid office at Douglas; I speak to the same person, in Financial Aid, and let her know the Government employee, says I have the wrong information. She literally highlights the information she has giving me and rights "this is what you need" on it. So the worker will be able to interpret the information. She also rights a step-by-step way to read the information for the social service worker. I head back down to the Government. I throw up on the way.

I wait in line again (49 minutes) this time there is a gentlemen who is very upset, and defiantly from the rough area of town. He is freaking out, and the security guards stand close to him while he screams and yells, and threatens to kill the world. Eventually he calms down. I am seen and told to wait. I sit down and don't wait to long until my name is called. I hand in my documents, and this time they say they have this information already. That they don't require this, and to come back tomorrow. I think my eye started twitching at this point.

I advice them I can't come back tomorrow as I work. I am coming today because my rent check is going to be deposited by my landlord, and if I wait to come back, I will not have enough funds in my account for rent. I will also have NSF fees from my landlord, and my bank. I am told to wait again.

My name is called rather quickly, and I am told there is a check for me. The female who tells me this holds the check in front of me, and goes on to make a comment that "if you had giving us this information before, this wouldn't have happened". She then informs me in an accusatory tone "that I am going to be reviewed for my income".

I lose it at this point. I advise her that I gave the exact same information over a month ago. I have filled out all documents correctly, and if the comment "I am going to be reviewed" is meant to frighten me, it doesn't, as I have done nothing wrong. "If on the off chance, I do owe a fund, that’s fine, I will pay them back". I then went on a rant that I have never been so insulted, talked down, and treated like a second rate citizen. Her final words to me were "right a letter to the government".

Not only did I right a letter to the government, I contacted her boss, and am making a formal complaint. I have never talked to, or treated someone, with such disrespect or incompetence, I would be fired from my job. Why is it that Government employees feel like they can treat people like crap because they job is hard. My job is hard to. If I can't handle the job, I am either fired or I quit. Only employee's of the Government feel like there is some obligation to make life and their job easy for them. Like work is supposed to be some cakewalk of joy, and happiness. It's called work for a reason people!! Do your job. If you can't, quit. It's so fucked that the way they treat the system is that; if they are unable to do there job, if they suck at it, or if it's just not a good job for them; That the rest of the world is supposed to change what there expectations of there job(the social service workers is) responsibility's are. I mean can you imaging being busy at work, being stressed, and telling your boss, and customers, that it isn't fair. This is to hard, they need to change the requirements of the job to fit me better!! Only a freaking Union/Government person thinks that there employer has some obligation to make life easy for them. Yet these undereducated people have the right to act as some moral authority on what I am doing! They get to decide if I am working to hard or not hard enough. Where is the "treat people like you want to be treated" line of thinking here. I would love for them to have to put up with there own bizarre requirements in order to get a paycheck. To bad I can't take stress leave on a disability income!!

One good thing about this is my love for running seems to come out when I am getting frustrated at the world. Whenever I am pissed off, or feel like I have no control, I run. I seem to run better on the days I am upset or angry. I find myself biking from home to the running room, going for my clinic runs, then biking home. It's burning off some of the frustration. My marks are so low in school, I have no where to go but up. That's about it for now.

I am adding a Video of my apartment. I don't know why, I just wanted to.

New Years in Germany

2007-01-10T08:58:00.000-08:00

I am back from Europe. What an amazing trip. Mandy and I had a fantastic time. Mandy surprised me with my present for Xmas. I was so sure that I was going to get a camera for Xmas, but instead she paid for my flight to Germany!!!

The trip started on Christmas day. I stayed over at Mandy's house on Christmas eve, woke up for Xmas with her family, then we opened presents and headed off to the airport. We flew from Vancouver to England,
then had a 2 hour wait for our connector, then a 90 minute flight to Neubeuern,Germany. Add a five hour train ride to Rosenheim, and we were tired and completly thrown off time wise. We were met by Nadja, and drove to Neubeuern we stayed in a bed and breakfast. We were very close to the alps. We stayed for a few nights in the Bed and Breakfast, It was truly an awesome time. We got to meat Nadja's Oma and Opa. I really liked her Oma, she had a great sense of humour!! We ate and ate and ate. We shopped and shopped and shopped. We took picture after picture. We got to see some awesome sights. We went to a few places that were awe inspiring. It was amazing to put your hand on something that someone else put there hand there over 400 years ago. It really makes you aware of how young north America is. I took so many pictures and saw so much I figure that for a simpler way to get them all on blogger was to make a collage. I tried to make a slide show, but after spending two hours I can't remember how I did it before. So here is the collage

If you click on the collage you will see the view a little larger. I am sorry that I can't upload a slide show. I will figure it out and update the blog at later date. I do have to study now. Here are a couple more pics I wanted to add, and state again, if you haven't been....go.

Marcel's Family, his Brother Tobias, his Mom Ute, and Father Reinhard. They were just awsome, and made the trip that much better. Something that Mandy often says, "If your going to Germany take a German!!"

My Triathlon Training Started Today

2006-12-13T18:29:00.000-08:00

Well, I had my first 10 kl ride on my new bike today. I have had a few days off from school. Yesterday I stayed in bed way to long, played video games, rented a movie and ate pizza. So today feeling fat, and out of shape I decided to head out to the Running Room in Burnaby where I work now. It's almost a perfect 10kl bike/run. So I threw on all my gear, loaded the Garmin, and tracked my ride.

My bike is a Kona Jake, that I bought at Dizzy cycles. Fantastic bike. Its not a specific Tri bike and I am sure I will here lots of crap from all the hardcore Tri people, but it works for me as a bike I can ride on the road with and still take my school books, and the occasional groceries back and forth.

I felt fantastic today, the weather was a little cool, there is still some snow kicking around in some places. It was a really good ride. I have ordered the Garmin Bike accessory through work and I am waiting for it to come in.

Mandy and I are getting ready for are trip to Germany. I am very excited, our trip is paid for, we have a train pass, we have plane tickets, I will probably go through my pack and repack, pack and repack scenario again. Ever since my accident I get a little odd at packing stuff. I try to think of every possible thing I will need, and then pack it. By the time I get to the last item I forgot what I put in there in the first place. So I unpack it. Then repack it again. Then forget whats in it. It's not fun, mentally I know I will be OK, even if I forgot something I can always pick something up. Getting my brain to understand that isn't as easy as you would think. What's more frustrating is before the accident I could pack in 20 minutes and be done with it. Now it takes hours.

School is out. Waiting on my final marks. I got B- in English. My math doesn't really get a grade, I just move on the next step. I was in math 1110, now I am in 2110. I had my final test in psych and think I totally flunked, but we will see. It seams that when I think I did really good, I suck. When I think I did bad I do well. I still think I sucked. Got my official marathon photos and they were fantastic. It was funny cuz I got three photos, one of me and my sister at the finish line, one of the two of us during the marathon, and then one of Kathy. Mandy asked why I didn't get one of just me. I guess I don't really want to look at me!

The Running Room in Burnaby that I have transferred to is way closer than the Richmond one. So my travel time is so much better I can ride or run there. No pictures with this post. Just wanted to keep up to date.

Feeling good. Looking forward to Xmas in Germany, I have never traveled that much. I mean the Marathon in Chicago was my first trip outside of Canada. I mean I have travelled to Toronto a few times, but never off of this continent. I will have my little camera and will blog the trip. Shit it's almost Christmas.

My Video Journey To The 2006 LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon

2006-11-27T17:53:00.000-08:00

On the way to the airport at 3:00 am before the Marathon. That is Nadja driving, and Mandy in the passenger seat. It's way to early, but we need to be at the airport early to get to our plane to Chicago.

Getting to our room in the Chicago Hilton Hotel the day before the Marathon.

We get some sleep and wake up again way to early. Mandy and I had gone shopping the night before and explored a bit of Chicago. Kathy had gotten in around the same time as us, and we all head to bed early. We are eating some food we got the night before. I didn't want to eat anything really different from what I ate while I trained.

We get to the Marathon with just enough time to hit the Bathroom, and jump into the starting line.

During the run I take some time to steel a kiss from Mandy. She flew all the from Vancouver just to take these video's and photo's. You rock Mandy!!

I cross the finish line with my sister. We did it. My first Marathon completed. It's hard to explain how I felt on the walk back. I was on a runners high, my sweat was freezing up, and the crowd was huge. Kathy and I are so tired, yet so exhilarated. Mandy almost falls over the curb while taking the video. What an awsome experience. Next is the triathlon. I already bought the bike! Keep watching the blog!!

The Wedding of Loren and Vicky Maclean

2006-11-23T11:45:00.000-08:00

THE HAPPY COUPLE:
CONGRATULATIONS!!

What a truly amazing wedding. It was so much fun, not only because my friend was getting married to a fantastic woman. I got to see all my friends that I havent seen in a long time. They came from all over the globe. The following is a bunch of pictures from my tiny little camera that I have used in previous posts. So enjoy this picture ensamble

Here are some more pictures added in no particular fasion.

Mandy and I want to thank you for great evening. We wish you a life time of happines and look forward to having you at our wedding. Congratulations!!

Official Time of the LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon

2006-10-29T22:01:00.000-08:00

Wanted to add some more pics and notes about the whole Marathon experience. It started of with dinner at a restaurant in Vancouver with Mandy. We headed to Nadja's house to stay there as we needed to be at the Vancouver airport way to early in the morning. Her house is a little closer to the airport. She had offered to drive us to there as we had to be there very early for our flight. Thanks Nadja!!

Nadja eating a late dinner Mandy prepared for her.

We got to the airport very early>
There are no problems getting on the plane. Mandy and I are seated togeather for the flight. We land in Chicago and jump on the train that takes us to downtown Chicago. We head to the hotel. Kathy arrives a little later, and we all head out to pic up are bib's and shirts and all the pre marathon stuff.

We wake up way to early in the morning. Mandy and I had gone shopping for some breakfast to have in the morning before the Marathon. I didn't want to change my meal to much from what I had used when I was training. So we eat a quick breakfast, and head out to the start line.

After waiting to long to take a pee we say goodbye to Mandy and try to find our pace group section. We get in the group at about the 4:45-5:00 group. The gun goes off!!! The Marathon begins!!!

The next four hours and fourty nine minutes are a mix of excitement, smells, pee breaks, gel shots, and thousands of people all doing the same things. We manage to keep pace with the 4:45 group, and seemed to fluctuate between the 4:00 hour group, and the 4:15 hour group. At some point I realized that passing people was going to be hard. I thought that I could pick up the pase to try and meet the 4:00 hour time I was planning on. I looked at my sister and I relax. Fuck the time. I am running a fucking marathon with my sister!!!! that really hit home about 20 minutes into the marathon. All my training, all my planning, all my work, had come together. Running through Chicago with my sister is beyond my laboured brains ability to express in words. I had achieved something I never thought I could do.

It amazes me when I think about the last 7 years. I never would have thought I would be running a marathon, in Chicago, with my sister, when I was a drug addict. To anyone who is ever been down and out, you know what I mean when it all hits home. The drugs wear off, you have that moment that it all hits home, how did I get here? What am I doing? Why am I doing this to myself, to those that love me? This is not me. I am better than this. All those nights of thinking so little of myself. Doing things I never thought I would do. I did allot of things I am not proud of, I did allot of things I will never forget, brain injured or not. Who would have thought that the guy with no future, no education, no job would get clean and sob re, get a decent job, meet the love of his life. Have his skull removed to stop his brain from exploding inside his skull. Loose his memory, his home, and his job. Spend a year in recovery. Propose to Mandy in Toronto. Get his sorry ass into college and now here he is. Running a Marathon with his sister in Chicago!!! I need to type that again. Running a Marathon with MY sister in Chicago. Life is so amazingly bizarre sometimes.

Mandy is meeting us along the way to try and take pictures.

We finish the Marathon. We are tired, sore, hungry, excited, enjoying the runners high. We cross the finish line and get in line to have the chip removed from our feet. We collect our medal, we get wrapped in a special blanket to keep us warm, we get some banana's and quickly get out the street. It's over. It happened so fast, one minute I am giving every last bit of physical and mental energy I have. The next I am wearing a metal, wrapped in a blanket, and eating a banana. The Marathon is over. I did it.

We start walking back to the hotel. Already talking about the next marathon!!! Perhaps Hawaii, or Disney land......how about a triathlon. God what have I done to myself!!!

We head out to dinner, we went to a fondue place called "The Melting Pot" that was amazing. You get a big pot of oil and veggies, and fruit. Then for the desert CHOCOLATE FONDUE. It was fondue heaven. We were so hungry, so sore....our dinner was incredible, fantastic restaurant staff; who took some pictures for us. What a day!!

We head back to the apartment tired and full.

The strangest thought just went through my head. What if my injury, my memory being wiped out, has somehow giving me a mulligan or a restart on life? I mean I was clean for several years before the injury, met Mandy, had a job. But since I woke up I have gotten engaged, gone back to college, run a marathon. Maybe some of the brain damage somehow took the fear out of me, or flicked some sort of ambition switch. What caused the drive? I mean I have the same ambition I did before. I want the same things. Why do I get it down now? as aposed to before?

I just did alot of whining before the injury, I could find something wrong with everything, lots of reasons as to why I couldnt do things. How life was not working out for me. Since the accident I have the same consequences to my actions, I have the same challenges. I would say even more challenges. Yet I accomplish more! Strange. I don't know what I am trying to say, but as I was editing this post. I started to think about what I have done post injury? Maybe I should have had my head explode years ago...maybe not!!

My Official Time of the Lasalle Bank Chicago Marathon

2006-10-25T15:43:00.000-07:00

So my sister and I finished the Chicago Marathon

The Marathon was awesome!! My official time was 4:49:36 and I finished 23857 out of 33,633 participants.

Mandy was with us the whole way taking pictures and offering great support.

Here are some more photos of the race, I am sorry there is not more. I have school tonight, and have homework to do. I will be getting more photo's from Mandy's camera and will do a much better blog entry by the weekend (today is wed, 25Th, of Oct) All these pics were taking with my tiny little camera during the marathon. Holy shit do my legs hurt!

I had the best time in Chicago. I ate so much after the marathon. Nothing felt better than crossing that finish line. OK maybe the desert we had at Bubba Gump shrimp felt better, but that was the best chocolate pie I ever had. It had hot chocolate cake on the bottom of chocolate ice cream!!! hot and cold chocolate combined, worth running a marathon for!! Thanks to everyone for all there support. This was truly one of the greatest weekends of my life. More photos to come

Chicago Marathon 2006 here I come!

2006-10-19T21:17:00.000-07:00

So a fast and dirty email. I have spent 18 weeks training. I have gotten up at 6:00 am on Sunday mornings. I have run over 400kl. I have survived IT band injuries, blisters, cuts, bruises. I have gotten lost. I got to know my running group. I purchased, shoe's, jacket's, sock's, hat's, water bottle's, gel shot's, e-load spots drinks, a Garmin 305 GPS heart rate monitor watch, and of course the training course at the running room. I have had hours of physio therapy, done more hours of stretches. I have talked crap, I have gotten arrogant, I have gotten freaked out. I have wondered why I am doing this. I have wondered why I never did this before. I have downloaded runs to google earth. Taken pictures of my run for my blog. Written down my daily runs.
All the while I have gone back to college, started a job, moved to New Westminster, continued planning my marriage to the worlds most incredible women. I have fallen off my bike, had my bike stolen, ran a crack head out my building. Said goodbye to my parents as they travel north America for god knows how long.
The flight is paid for, the room rented, all necessary items packed. I will add some pictures when I get back
My concerns are whether or not I can finish. Will my knee hold out, will I finish in time. Should I have bought the official jacket of the LaSalle 2006 Chicago Marathon, before I did the run.

Chicago hear I come

2006-10-05T12:23:00.000-07:00

Well my training with Running Room is over. My Marathon (Chicago) is a little later than the Marathon most people at the Running Room clinics in Vancouver were training for. They were mostly training for the Vancouver Island Marathon. I think that Marathon is this weekend. A few of us were training for Chicago, so our tapering schedule started at different times. So I am now running by myself. I feel kind of crappy about the way it ended, because I had trained with all these people for 13 weeks. You get to know people, you talk, you encourage each other, get mad at others. I was unable to continue running with them during the week as I started school in September. As I was unable to run the Wednesday and Thursday group runs. I started to run by myself. During one of these group runs I was unable to attend, the group decided to change there long runs to Saturdays, instead of Sundays. I was not there while this decision was made, so I showed up for a 32kl run last Sunday with no one to run with. They also are apparently getting together for Dinner tonight (Thursday) I was also was not aware of this until to late, though I also have school. I wouldn't have been able to attend anyway. Now its no ones fault, but it still kind of hurt.

Enough of that though. I am so excited. After my accident (see previous entries) I get confused very easy. I get worried that I will get lost, and wind up not knowing where I am, or how to get home. That is why I loved running with a group.

A couple of weeks ago I showed up late for one of the Sunday runs, a 32kl run. Everyone had left. Now they knew I was going to be late, and they couldn't hold everyone to wait for me. So I was a left a map of where to go. I have a Garmin 305, which is all set for the ten and ones. So I head out from Broadway and Granville, to the New Westminster key. I have no Ipod. I have my water pack, and gel shots. I start running. Its amazing what goes on in your head when you run by yourself. Now keep in mind that I missed some long runs because of an IT band injury. So this was the first long run I had had in a couple of weeks.

I am running by myself, after some time off. I was not only very concerned about getting lost but also just finishing the distance. I was very up-tight that I may not be able to physically run the Marathon. The flight is paid for, the Marathon is paid for, the Hotel is booked. Plus I had talked crap about "being a marathon runner" Needles to say I was a little stressed. I just didn't want to bow out, whatever the reason.

Nothing felt better than getting to the New Westminster Key, and seeing all my running buddies sitting down and eating a snack. I did it. I was able to run the distance, I did it alone, I did without getting lost. I could go that far without quiting. That walk home was one of the best moments of my life. The Marathon was still on. I phoned my Fiance, my sister, my parents. It was truly an incredible feeling. I was able to run. God that feelingis impossible to describe.

I still have some pain when I hit the 19kl, to 20kl mark. Not enough to end a run, but it is there. I have spent many hours with a physio therapist, I spend a minimum of an hour a day stretching, if not more. I have a heavy duty massager that I pound my leg with every night. I also take an aspirin about 10 minutes before my long runs. I know it will take about an hour for the aspirin to take affect. This is about 10kl give or take into my run, and lasts usually a couple of hours. I find that hills, steps, stairs, heights, and curbs are painful. As long as my run is straight and flat, I can run. I am so glad I am running Chicago. It is flat!!!! New shoes also helped with the distance I could run before the pain started.

So Between starting college, getting used to my new apartment, working, and running. I am very busy, but at the same time excited about the Marathon. I get to see my sister, I get to travel with Mandy. This is truly an exciting time.

School is going well, I had my first test in Psychology yesterday, I have a tutor who is helping me out. I also get to see one of my friends who I haven't seen since the bastard moved to England. He is coming into town tomorrow for a night. Mandy and I will be looking at a possible venue for the wedding!!! Shit, I got a lot going on. Sorry there are no picks, I have been a little busy. The next blog entry should have more pictures in it. I am working on video blogs to.

Vita-Mixer

2006-08-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

So I bought a refurbished Vita-Mixer. If you have not ever heard of one go to the website.

It is trully the coolest kitchen device ever. I can make whole food juices, like those at Jugo Juice. I can make my own Peanut butter, how about a Bacon Cheddar Potato Soup. Or a Brie, Roguefort and Toasted Walnut Fondue. It makes pureed foods for babies (think of the money saved on baby formula!!) And for desert how about Strawberry Yogurt Freeze. Go nuts with WHole Wheat Banana Nut Quick Bread.

Each Vita-Mixer comes with two different containers one wet blade and one dry blade. The Dry blade containers makes breads and pizza dough and bagels. What is awsome is you can go and buy flower and yeast and the dry blade does all the kneeding for you. Through it in a tin, toss it all in the oven and there ya go. Hearty Multi-Grain Bread. I highly recoment this. Enough to make it it's own blog entry. So get one go here and click on the website http://www.vitamix.com/ and check it out.

Iliotibialband Injuries, Starting Douglas, Getting in the Grove

2006-08-22T11:08:00.000-07:00

So I have not updated my blog for awhile. It has been very busy. Since the last entry I have gotten all my stuff from my pod (see prev entries), injured my IT band during my my marathon training. Bought a Vita-Mix juicer, paid off all my bills, and signed up for College. I am also working at the Running Room.

After moving into my place, and being here for over two weeks before my pod was delivered. So I slept on a blow up bead. I had a TV but know Cable yet.
this is a picture before the pod, and the next one is after my pod, with my TV, computer, and bed in place.

I have continued with marathon training. I had a major concern as on one of long rungs a few weeks ago, my knee started to hurt. Not much, but I noticed it. I went home stretched relaxed, and was fine for the rest day, and our next short run (6kl). On our next hill session I got up the hill three times, and the third time up the pain came back. So I took a day off the next day, and then went for our long run on Sunday (29kl) and wound up needing a cab after 19kl. I then took two weeks off from running, jumped into physio heads on, and relaxed. The next long run, I get to 20kl and the pain is back. New shoes and more physio and an industrial strength hand held massager and a week of reduced runs. I managed to run 29kl on Sunday. It felt fantastic. On top of running the full distance, I also ran it alone, as I had shown up late, with no Ipod. I ran from Broadway and Granville to New Westminster key. All by myself. The knee hurt but not enough to make me leave.

I am very glad for this as I have talked a lot about the Marathon so if I bailed out know, regardless of the reason, I would never live it down. My trip is also paid for, along with the hotel room, not to mention the Marathon itself.

I also start Douglas in less than 15 days from now. That is freaking me out. I will be taking a math course, an English course, and a Political Science course, as well as psychology course. So lets see what my brain dose with this. I registered as a Person with Disability, and will hopefully get some aid in the classes. I am filling out all the forms for funding as well.

I also bought a bike to help reduce the need for transit. I can actually get to work and school faster with a bike than if I catch transit. I have a helmet, and can use my running gear.

Live if moving forward very fast for me. I am scared and excited at the same time. I just hope I am up for it. It is going to be a very busy Planning for Monday's and My wedding, training for a marathon, and going back to school. Life is about to get nuts.

Working, Moving, Running, Starting College, and Shooting up.

2006-07-10T14:03:00.000-07:00

Well I have moved in to my new place, the colors are spectacular, the floors are awesome. The inside is really cool, new toilet, new oven & stove. Here are some before and after pics of the bathroom. I am still waiting for my pod, which contains all of my belongings from my old place. Since I had to move from my apartment in Burnaby to my parents house when I was out of the hospital for only three days, I really don't remember what I stored in my pod (a mobile mini storage unit) It all happened so fast (see prev blog entries)So for right now I am sleeping on a blow up bed provided by Nadja. I had started a new job at a company called E-Care which is a collection company for online payday loan company's. Its a really strange job. It is basically an online money mart . It is only available in the USA with the collection department in Canada. I phone the people that don't pay. It is very confusing for me, and really hard to remember the American collection laws, Bankruptcy laws, and legalities, not to mention the computer programs they use. So I have decided to leave this company after only a week. I applied to the Running room in Richmond for a job. I have an interview today at 3:00 pm. I figure with school starting in September I need a less stressful job. So the money wont be the same but the stress level will be much lower.

I have also just got back from Douglas College and found out where I stand with with what courses I need for my Pre-Nursing. It will still be about a year, before I can take the Pre-Nursing courses, and I still have to take my English tests to see where I stand with that. So I am still looking at a year or so of upgrading before I can take the pre nursing.

RBC is offering me a departure payment, as while I was in the hospital my job was outsourced. So I had no job to return to when I recovered to the point of being able to return to work. I get a set amount of money if I want a lump some of money, or I can get double the amount of money in biweekly payments as long as I make an effort to look for a job. I also have my 5 years of RRSP in RBC stocks that I can cash in and I am still waiting for my tax refund as well.

The Marathon training is going well. I have some more pics of our runs, the last two Sundays have been 16kl runs, I run them in about two hours, and have kept up with my weekly tempo runs. I missed a couple of days but only when I was moving all day and working. I have an average of about 30-35 kl per week (give or take I haven't been updating my running logs very much)

Here is a picture of some gentlemen cooking something in a camping barbecue outside my bathroom window. They are literally about a foot and a half from my window smoking something, and cooking something that sure aint food in the barbecue. I took a picture from my kitchen window, and you can kind of see the barbecue and the dudes. I walked out pretending to put the garbage out and asked them what they were doing. They told me they were just waiting for there friend to come home. I told them they can't cook there as it is right outside my bathroom window, and they'll have to wait for there friend off the property. I apologize for the crappy picture

Part of the Running Crew & Renovation Of My Apartment

2006-06-22T22:07:00.000-07:00

Here is my new place. You can see my windows on the bottom floor. Just behind the bushes. The inside needs some work. Mandy and I are painting the sealing, the walls, and we will have new floors installed. The oven needs to be replaced as you can see

I have spent the last three days renovating the interior and keeping up with my jogging, were talking about 10 to 12 hours a day at the apartment and then my regular runs at the running room.

The running room is going well. I have logged over 40 kl last week, and we are forming a group of fellow runners if roughly the same speed group.

I apologize for the crappy pictures of the running crew. I will get better. These don't do you all justice.

The Running Room Marathon Clinic

2006-06-12T12:04:00.000-07:00

I had my first long run with the Running Room. It was the second run that the group has done. On June 8th we ran 6kl. On June 10th I ran 6.13kl on my own. Then on Sunday the 11th (at 8:30 in the morning) I ran 9kl in about 1:08hr. I am in the "just finish crew" there are other crews that are going for specific times to finish the Marathon. I just want to finish.

There were about 22 people on this run on Sunday.

There are two prime running instructors from the Running Room. One is Daryl The other is Angela (below)
-this picture is better than the one I had on previously posted.

Here is a collection of photos from our run.

I must say this is a very cool way to prepare for a marathon. We meet twice a week and we have guest speakers, who cover things like food, stretching, mental preparation, clothes and all sorts of stuff. Everyone is really supportive, and all your fellow runners are super supportive. I also received my official LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon confirmation

The LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon 2006

2006-06-03T13:50:00.000-07:00

So I am new signed up for the LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon on October 22nd, 2006. This will be the first Marathon I have run. I have recently run a 10k run in Vancouver (see prev posts) I have signed up with the Running Room in Vancouver to help train for it. Over the last year since I left the hospital I have run an average of about 30-40 kl per week. As well as weight lifting. I have a very small camera that I will use to track my training. I will also see if I am comfortable using the camera while I run the marathon itself. So with 20 weeks to go until the marathon. Join me as I blog my efforts.

During this time I may also be updating my blog with my moving, and starting school. I start Douglas college in September, and will be moving by the end of this month. This is a lot of new information for me to absorb since my injury (see prev posts) There is some concern whether I will overload myself or not. I just now that I am tired of "waiting" to get better. I was originally informed that I would continue to recover over a two year period. The early recovery would be rapid improvements, and then they would slowly taper off.

After nearly dying, I have learned that I don't want to go out being the guy that complains on how the world is not fair to me. I don't want to go out having complained why I didn't accomplish things. I want to go out having accomplished. There will always be reason why I cant do something. If that is what I focus on I will never do anything. Now I got to go run, I got a fucking marathon to train for.

Please help me raise money. I am saving up to go to school, and I also need funds to help pay for my trip to Chicago. So click on my adds. I get paid for every click. Hey its cheaper than a donation!! (adds are on the top of my blog)

How I live with Tramatic Brain Injury

2006-05-15T17:46:00.000-07:00

Ever since I woke up in the hospital after my surgery, I have had the biggest problem remembering things. The technical words are Short Term Memory Deficit. When people here the words "I have a memory problem" What follows is usually something like "yeah me to", or "I wish I had brain injury to blame for my forgetfulness “I find this along the same lines as "I wish I was blind so my hearing would get better" being said to someone who lost there vision. It's insulting. I know they mean well, but it still diminishes what I have gone through. I also have problems with people not understanding that this is a disability. I don't think I would have been approved of disability if this was some simple "memory issue" it is so much more. People just don't understand that it is not an excuse to "forgot to get the milk honey" Or "I forgot your birthday".

What people just don't get, is how I can remember some things one day but not the next. How can I remember to go to the grocery store, but forget why I went? I know I am there to shop, but shop for what? What do I need? What do I like? Do I like that toothpaste? Do I need toothpaste? Do I have milk? What kind of milk do I need, skin milk, whole milk, 2% milk? What size a bottle, etc. This happens with everything I need at the grocery store. It is so confusing. By the time I remember I need a 2%, 954kl bottle of milk. I forgot I need eggs. I get embarrassed. What’s worse is when a helpful staff member asks if I found what I am looking for. "I don't know what I am looking for". This often leaves helpful staff very confused. People don't get how I could not know why I am at the grocery store. Not to mention I must freak out security. Why is he walking down the same isle over and over again. Don't get me started about Malls. So many places so many people my brain just doesn’t stop. Its called flooding. Its like when to many programs run on your computer at once, it just slows everything down. I just grab on to Mandy and follow here around. I just hope no sales person talks to me while she is in a change room. In the months since I left the hospital I have come across some very affective strategies to get through what most people take for granted.

1) Post it notes are a god send. I have them every where in my house with a pen attached. By every phone, by the doors, in the bathroom.

2) I also need very specific goals. I have a long term goal, an intermediate goal, and short term or daily goals. They also all link together. My long term goals are say "graduate from college with a nursing degree", intermediate goals are "enrol in school", Short term goals are "contact college and find out how to register" All the goals link together. I also have a long term goal of running a marathon in October of this year. I have intermediate goals of distance, and planning the trip and hotels there. Short term goals are "run 5k today" I have to keep these things up to date or I will lose sight of the different goals. It also helps me keep track of what I accomplish. One pleasant side effect of the memory loss is that I look at what I did in the preceding month and impress myself "I ran that far", "I signed up for school...cool". If you look at the picture of my board above this is where I keep a log of all my goals. As I complete them I cross them off, and add new ones as they arise. Also my “daily to do list” is essential for every day tasks, It says things like "go to Safeway, get milk, do not buy anything else", "Bring book for Biology to Biology teacher, study Biology" "start looking for housing" "put gas in mustang" "go to gym do abs, and chest, light run" This was organized for me by a very patient Mandy. Thank you Mandy. I highly recommend people get a Mandy.

3) The third important thing is that everyone has to work with you. Not only do I need to make sure they right things down on the post it notes for me. I need to make sure they see me right things down to. It is not enough to tell me that my physiotherapy called and they changed the appointment. I will say "oh ok" and show up for the original appointment. So I have to make sure that I then right that on my note board, my day planner, and my calendar. If I do not, and I don't also take out the original appointment. I will get very confused. I also get grumpy when people tell me to "put it in my planner" I don't know why, I know I need to. I guess I just don't like being told what to do. It reminds me that I have brain injury. I just want to be normal again. But if they don't see me right it down. I probably didn’t.

4) Keep notes of everything you do, every day. I have to write down that I paid Visa yesterday. If I don't I will pay it again. I have paid my cell phone bill twice, in the same month. When your living off of disability that is allot of money. I have to right it down when it happens, which during a busy day, can be time consuming. Again if I don't right it at that minute, I won't remember it later.

5) Google has a new calendar feature. It is just like all other calendars with a day and month schedule, it also has a daily to do list. It has the option to remind you of scheduled events, if you add this reminder feature during your set up. So I get little flashes on my computer that say "Math in two hours prepare to leave" This is just another form of reminder, and I will take all I can get. The coolest part of this easy to use scheduler is you can allow others access to your schedule. You have to invite them for your own security, but when I told my fiancé about this the possibilities seem remarkable. She can make sure I have added important events, plus keep track of events as I enter them, or complete them. It makes tracking several people's schedules a little easier. I highly recommend it for the Memory impaired, or busy family's trying to keep track of everyone’s schedules.

6) Very supportive people in my live. Without my Fiancé, my sister, my parents, and my friends understanding what I am going through, I would be lost. Professional help is also needed, I have had great Speech Pathologists, Physiotherapists, Occupational Therapists, and Social Service people. These people have experience with traumatic brain injury. Use them. There is no way I would get through this, without all these sources of information. I would not be training for a marathon, I would not be in school. Without the support of all these people to help lighten the load. I don't know where I would be.

7) Research. The best thing I did was to start researching Traumatic Brain Injury. I found books, I found support group’s. Check out your local government listings. Check out people with a disability information. One book I highly recommend is "Over my Head" by Claudia L. Osborn it is essential reading for traumatic brain injury survivors. I keep my copy on my nightstand. You can order a copy online at her website http://www.claudiaosborn.com/ she has allot of useful links to.

Another part of the research is that you will find very few answers. My Dr., Occupational Therapists, and Social Services all are very confusing to deal with. It is not from an unwilling to help. It is because there is no “How to deal with the brain injured” course they take. Don’t go along with the boat. Question everything. Talk to a Speech Pathologist as they seam to be the most knowledgeable. Also sign up with a support group. People who have been where you are now.

8) A good sense of humour and a belief that it will get better. I am lucky to be alive. I will never again be the person I was before. I have strange moods, I get frustrated, and on my bad days I feel hopeless. I lost so much, my home, my job, my memory, my privacy, my sense of who I am. I forgot everything. On the other hand. I am alive, I can walk and talk (I wasn’t ever supposed to be able to do that again) I am back in school after almost 16 years since leaving. I got engaged, and I am training for a Marathon. I don't know how much of this would have happened had I not had my accident. I don't really care. As long as I worry about what I once was, I will never realize my full potential.

After leaving home at 15, winding up homeless on the downtown east side of Vancouver, after 15 years of doing drugs. Going into recovery, being sober for over 5 years. Getting a job. Overcoming a stroke and having my skull removed for 30 days. Surviving Traumatic Brain Injury. I am alive, I am in love, I am starting college, and training for a Marathon. I am very lucky

Sun Run 2006 Photos

2006-05-08T08:34:00.000-07:00

Here is me at the Vancouver Sun Run. It was a great run and a beautiful day. I finished in 1 hour 6 minutes, and that is after getting attacked by a lady jogger who tripped me on a sidewalk!! Just reinforces my theory that Old Woman are the downfall of today's society (joke) There were over 50,000 people at this years Run. Next year I will enter the expert category, not because I am an expert but because there were so many people you couldn't run at your common race speed. At least I could loose in comfort in the expert category. My next Run will be the 2006 Chicago Marathon with my sister in a few months.

This is at the finish. All photo's were talking by my Fiance

So I am technically disabled

2006-04-03T16:12:00.000-07:00

So the word is I am disabled. Mentally disabled that is. Now before everyone says they have known this all along, I am really not kidding. I went to Social Services today and took all my documentation of my surgery and I qualify for a person with disability. On the upside of that I got a pass to the local aquatic center today for free, and I get a disabled bus pass. I get some housing funding as well. The coolest part is I will probably qualify for some funding for school. If I want to go fishing I get a reduced rate fishing license too!!!

The frustrating part of all of this is the extra funding I get from the government is not pro rated. So while my insurance pays me a certain amount, and the provincial government kicks in a couple of bucks, I could have also been receiving extra funds from the federal government for the last year. I am so glad my Occupational Therapist is on the ball. So far they have cost me, $50.00 fee for not canceling my driving assessment while I was in Toronto (even though I called them several times to advise them of my extended stay), It cost me $99.00 to learn how to turn left while driving (see prev posts) Now they have cost me almost $800.00 in missed funds from the government for the last 10 months. Not to mention the money I have spent on the bus going the three zones to my driving assessment, to my Fiance's, to school etc. If I had never looked into a bus pass I would never have been led to the Social Service worker, who in turn linked me to the "people with disability's" info. So while I have a very minor form of disability (hey if recovered drug addict gets disability so should a memory impaired recovered drug addict) I don't know if I am nuts or not. I got so angry at the OT's lack of discussion with me, the lack of action, the lack of funds, the lack of information. If I had not complained, if I sat back and just acted on the information they provided, I would not be driving, I would not be in school, I would have less money, I would pay more for my prescriptions, and more for my physiotherapy. What the hell is the point of the community therapist with someone like me. I feel like I have been falling through cracks all this time. SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED. I will be filling complaint about the incompetence and continued "falling through the cracks" history I have had with the Community Therapist.

The other part of all this that is very frightening is that when I left the hospital I went to my parents house. You see my apartment had been sold while I was in the intensive care ward. The original plan was to move to the fourth floor where I would have been in a room with a more of apartment feel (not quit but not intensive care) I would have been able to come and go as I pleased, I would be able to eat at the cafeteria. It would have been a step forward to individual living instead of just throwing me out the door back to no job, no home, no memory. I also would have been sent to GF Strong a home for the memory injured. They would have had there own OT's, there own DR's, there own social service workers, and a history of dealing with people that have had traumatic brain injury. There would have been a waiting list for me to get into GF strong of at least 6 months. So I left the hospital and went to my parents house. We started my rehab ourselves, going to see a speech and Memory specialist at Burnaby hospital twice a week, I started physiotherapy, I started to see my Dr. on a regular basis. I had an OT that came to the house, she hooked me up with a psychologist, and there own memory dude. If I had not had a family that stepped up to take me home I would have been GF Strong, which my understanding is, it is the place to be for brain injury rehab. But because I left the hospital a month after I got in, and started getting help on my own instead of waiting the six months to start getting better, I missed out. I fell through the cracks.

This leads me to my point that at GF strong they would have been more equipped to handle all the needs I would have, they would have known what issues would come up. Instead I go home to an informant with no knowledge of what to do next, and an OT that is very new at her job, and doesn't inform us of about half the stuff that should have happened. So at the end of the day I am the one that pays for everyone else's incompetence. Don't get sick, its way to stressful to get better, and it costs to much money. I write this because I want all the other people out there dealing with traumatic Brain injures to know what services are available, I don't want anyone else to fall through cracks.

Ok there is my like thousand and two rant of the lack of responsibility of the OT company. Phew I am tired.

Back to school

2006-03-30T10:47:00.000-08:00

Well I have added another course to my schooling. I take Biology 12 as well as Math, each twice a week. I am also taking the First Aid course by St Johns Ambulance with Mandy next week. I am training for the The Vancouver Sun Run. It's a busy time.

My Memory is still getting better, I am much better than I was originally. Physically I am getting better with crazy work outs, and physio once a week. I am also back to driving.

Driving is also very interesting, as I know how to drive I just often forget where I am going and how to get there. Its not to bad, because I map quest my way to a location, but coming back isn't as easy as backtracking the Map quest route.

Physiotherapy is also terrific, I get stabbed and shocked on a weekly basis. I feel so bad for my physiotherapist though. I often forget by the time I go to see her where I hurt. So I am the guy that goes "hey it hurts when I do this" I also repeat myself a lot. I am glad she has a sense of humour. To help me remember where my body hurts when I lie down at night I right it down (I keep a notebook by my bed), then take it to her when I see her. I also repeat myself a lot. I am glad she has a sense of humour. To help me remember where my body hurts when I lie down at night I right it down (I keep a notebook by my bed), then take it to her when I see her.

I am training for the Sun Run and that is going well. I am a half decent distant runner. I got a new Ipod from my awesome fiance which aids in the boredom of running. I average about between 6k to 12k depending on the day. I have days were I run to a hill, then sprint up it, walk down, sprint back up, walk down, and repeat. I also have distance days, were I add a little distance each time to slowly increase the goal to eventually run a Marathon.

The school is going as well as can be expected, the math is a challenge. I have a tendency to underestimate my ability's. It is still really hard to go to school. I have to read and re read the same thing several times to make it stick, then wright it down, then before class re read everything all over again. It's the same with books that I read, to remember where I am in the book I have to go back several pages to catch up to wear I was. So I'm at chapter 10, but I need to start at chapter 8 just to get back in the flow of the story. Thank god for multiple choice answers.

Doing all the pre wedding stuff is actually fun right now. My fiance and I are both low stress people, and don't feel the need to hurry in to getting married. So we have time to poke around and run ideas of each other. There is a lot more to planning a wedding than just showing up at the chapel though. I don't think I could get away with eloping!!

How I proposed to Mandy

2006-03-11T19:35:00.000-08:00

My sister and I flew Mandy in from Vancouver to Toronto on Thursday night, March 2nd. She arrived at the airport at 1:00 am and was met by a pre planned limo.

Kathy and I in the morning before she leaves for Paris.
After dealing with my pre engagement stress for almost two weeks. Thanks Kathy
Kathy say's I am welcome -->

Mandy and I make our way through Toronto to the CN tower. I had made a reservation for us and had asked the waiter to take a picture of Mandy and I as I proposed. I had told Mandy that I was going to get the waiter to take a picture of us eating dinner on the CN Tower. She had no idea I was about to propose.

Look at her face, is she shocked or what!!
Me on one knee placing the wring on her finger. I lover Her

Look at that Smile (below), the Happy couple :*)

We pick up some mementos, from the CN tower gift shop, to help freeze the moment forever. Check out the key chains, we got one each.

We head back to my Sisters by cab and have some champagne and truffles. I had them waiting, along with some special champagne glasses I had picked up just for this moment.

That is the box the truffles came in, is that sweet or what?

I had great help getting the chocolate's and the champagne glasses picked out, by some very encouraging employees at Ashley on Bay St. Here is a picture of the employee's that were instramental in my being able to pull this wonderfull night off. The ladies to the left helped me with the chocolates and the box, the lady below helped me pick out the glasses

The next Morning we head out to do some shopping in Toronto, and to get Mandy's nail's done. Here are some photo's of the stores I had been to while preparing for the proposal, and some pictures of the Toronto Ice Festival.

It was a great trip in Toronto. Here is a picture of the ring, and what a beautiful hand. I love you Mandy.

I went to Toronto and came home with a Fiance

2006-03-10T22:08:00.000-08:00

So I spent two and half weeks in TO, Got to see my sister, hang out in the city. Had a great time, love that city. While there My sister and I came up with a great idea. Fly Mandy out and propose to her. I have been planning to propose for the last year and had been saving for a wring, but with my being off work, it got really hard. Kathy donated her diamond earings from Birks to my engagement ring savings, and I was able to get a remarkable ring for Mandy. So we surprised her by telling her we could use my Sisters airmile points to fly her out for a couple of days while my Sister was out of town. Mandy and I have not had alot of alone time since I got out of the hospital and My apartment was sold. So she flew out on Thursday night and got in around 11:00pm or so. We had a car waiting to pick her up and bring her to my Sisters place. The next morning Kathy (my sis) was on her way to Paris with my Mom. Mandy and I woke up and explored the city. I had told her that we had a dinner reservation for the CN Tower for about 5:30 so all day I am walking around with her ring in my bag trying so hard to remember that I had it and were we are going for dinner etc. You try to remember not to say something like that. Remembering what not to say is alot harder than remember what to say. So all day I am in a weird mood, I keep looking at my watch. In my head for the whole day I am going " Don't forget where your going, Don't forget the wring, Don't forget what to say" I cant let her into any of the stores I had been in, because I had been doing some crazy shopping in preperation of her coming out. So all the stores she wanted to go into all knew me, and they all knew I was flying my Girlfriend in to propose. If we walked in and one asked " how was the proposal" well you know. We finally make it to the CN Tower and the meal is great. Just before desert I go talk to the waiter, under the guise that we (photos of this will be added lader)need him to take a picture of us in the few. After handing the camera to the waiter I nervously head back to the table I look at Mandy and tell her that Me and Kathy had lied to her. She was not here just for us to get some time to ouselves, then I drop to one knee and told her how much I love her, and ask her to marry me. She was so suprised she had no idea it was coming, she cried and laughed and was totally shocked. Score one for Dave... To top the night off we cab back to my Sisters apartment and I had some really neat Champagne waiting, with some fantastic truffles, two special crystal glasses, a nice lounge outfit from La Sensa for her, some wedding magazines, a gift certificate to get her nails done, and to seal the proposal of a lifetime some deserts to die for. All and all it was great night (see attached photo for the whole idea of what was waiting for her when she got home ((sorry about my finger getting in the way))

Mandy left Toronto on the Sunday and I came home on the Monday. The wring is being fitted in the Birks here in Vancouver. There is no date set as of yet for the wedding, with me just starting school, and her finishing her fourth year at UBC, the time is not right yet. We expect about a year or so before it happens and are enjoying the engagement.

Once I was back in Vancouver I had My driving lesson from Young Drivers on the left hand turns, so I am back to driving. I have had my Math class and will be starting Biology 12 in the next week or so. All the classes her are on spring break. I am also training for a Marathon. I run almost every day and hit the Gym every other day. Got physio on the go, all and all I am keeping busy. I will be hitting a meating this week as I am know more mobile. My twice weekly visit with my memory dude is ending soon.

This is were I will rant about Occuptainal Therapists. My driving assesment was complete crap. I am wrighting a letter to the Ministry about my frustration with how they go about there business. The power these people have in your days of extream need is something that needs to be rained in.

Thats about it for the last two weeks.

First Day Back To School

2006-02-06T22:17:00.000-08:00

So I had my first math class today. I learned about Proper Fraction, with hole numbers and mixed numbers. Adding fractions with different denominators. It wasn't as scary at I thought. I got really interested once I got started. My teacher is really cool. It is a "go at your own pace kind of setting". It is for 2 hours twice a week. I met some of the other students and we were all feeling about the same. Scared, worried and old. But to find out we were not alone was really cool.

I also got a call my OT who was trying to find out my schedule for the next month. This is the same OT (occupational therapist) who screwed up on the driving assessment, by telling Me, and My family over ten months ago that she was on top of scheduling it. Phone call after phone call and 9 months later she says it has nothing to do with her. So this week I mentioned that I was a little frustrated at the slow pace of things. My, OT supplied memory teacher reads from a book that even he hasn't red, with such fun topics as, this week we are learning how write in a dayplanner. I try to explain that I need to focus on how to remember things, not "righting things in your dayplanner will help you remember to do them" Wow I never would have thought to put down appointments in my day planner, or meetings. Wait yes I have. They have great tips like "when entering dates, or scheduled things to do, use a different color ink to help them stand out" I figure I will let them see my blog, then ask them how fill out a dayplanner again!!! What I want to do is learn how to improve my short term memory now that I am back to school, I don't want to spend all that time in a class only to forget what I just learned. I have a memory aid book from my OT and my memory trainer, and after going through all the hot topics like "setting an alarm can remind you what time to get up". We finally got the section on how to improve you memory. Then I find out they skip that section!!!! I must state again I have found the OT's to be extremely difficult. They are slow, do not give precise information, and seam to treat me like I should understand how an OT works. I have never experienced an OT company before, and even if I did I would have forgotten!!!!

Driving Test & School

2006-02-02T16:38:00.000-08:00

So I took a huge step yesterday and went to find out about getting back to school. I never graduated from grade twelve, because I was living on my own at 15. I dropped out before the year ended (well I just stopped going) and never graduated. I did go to the Graduation ceremony, but never had enough credits to actually graduate. I was working at Safeway at the time, and found that making money (not a bad amount of cash for 15 yr old) and living on your own, were not the best environment to promote the "stay in school" thought. My home became party center and while everyone else was in class I worked, came home (buying dope on the way) and the party was at my place.

So 17 years later I am going back to get my grade twelve, and scared shittles. My first class is on this Monday and its Math. Then I have Biology on Tuesday. My goal is to get into the Nursing program at either University or BCIT. I was extremely impressed by the nurses when I was in the hospital.

Today I had my driving test. I have not been driving since leaving the hospital. I wanted to make sure I would remember how to drive, ok I was more worried about getting sued than having an accident, weather my fault or not and some lawyer and insurance company freaking that maybe I forgot what the brake does.
So I had my test, and did extremely well. Passed with flying colors. So only 10 months in the waiting I can drive again. Who wants to go out for dinner ;Â) Now watch my next blogentrye note be about my accident

The day I lost my memory and so much more.

2006-01-30T21:50:00.000-08:00

I am not sure where to start, the first thing I remember was waking up in the hospital, I had tubes in my arm's, my mouth, and other places tubes should not be. I had no idea what was going on, and I was tied down to the bed. I remember hearing someone saying, "he is still unconscious", and then nothing. The next time I woke up I was angry, someone was stabbing me in my arm, and every time I tried to roll over on my side I got pushed back to my back. I had these weird socks on my feet. Then I remember Mandy, my girlfriend, my hero.

You see earlier that month Mandy had come to my house one evening because I was not answering my phone. She knew I was a little stressed out because I was off work after collapsing in the bathroom on the job one day (later it would be diagnosed that I had had a minor stroke). I was on short-term disability. While on disability from work, and going through the stress of trying get my insurance to cover my wage (Manulife sucks, did you know that Manulife is the only insurance company in Canada that takes the money that the government pays you for your disability? Every other insurance company in Canada will pay you your hard earned insurance amount, and allow to you to collect the minimal amount that you are entitled to by law by the government), My TV explodes. My doctor ordered me on bed rest. I am at home all day filling my time with TV and Xbox, and then the fuckin TV explodes. When you are not working, and home on disability your TV is sometimes the only thing that keeps you sober (I love Oprah). So Mandy comes over to my house a little worried because I am not answering my phone. She was out the night before at her friend's house and wanted to check in on me. When I don't answer my phone she decides to come check on me. Little did she know that I had collapsed in my home, with my brain bleeding. I had had some kind of stroke. Technically it was not a stroke, it was a brain bleed, but a stroke is when your brain is bleeding! I am not sure on how they qualify that it's a stroke or a brain bleed. Anyway I was sort of conscious and had done a nice job of smashing my apartment up, and myself, as I struggled to stand up and move. While in my state I had stumbled into a class coffee maker I had lodged class in my wrist, and cut my feet nicely. So Mandy shows up at my house and nocks on my door, she has keys so when I don't answer, she tries to open it. My security lock is on and she can't open the door all the way. She can hear me though, and see enough blood and hear the sound of my breath to freak her out. Like any smart female would do, who didn't have enough room to put her head in a door, and puts her compact in. From what I am told the picture wasn't pretty, enough for her to freak out and call 911 and my close friend Parry (See his blog). Who drops what he is doing and comes running to my place.

The first to arrive is the fire trucks they kick open my door. Then the ambulance arrives and whisks me up almost immediately. The police come to, and soon it's a party in my apartment. Apparently I had a lot of drug prescription bottles and they were all freaking out about them. So one parametric is grilling my girlfriend about my medical history while the other whisks me out the door. As I am being loaded in the ambulance Parry arrives he takes one look at me and freaks out a little bit. The police start grilling everyone. Trying to figure out weather I was assaulted, stoned, raped, or committing suicide. Maybe all of the above. So while I am being sent to the ER, Parry call's my folks, and Mandy and He take heat from the cops.

I need to be in the ER. I am transported to Burnaby hospital ASAP. While in the emergency room it is diagnosed that my brain is expanding inside my head. With limited space for it to grow, with that damn skull in the way, they determine that removing my skull will save my life; if my brain continues to expand and runs into my skull I will die. I am shipped to Royal Columbian Hospital where they can perform the surgery.

My parents arrive, after they were called by Parry and speak to Dr. Chan a surgeon who informs them that if they don't take out my skull, I will die. They sign all the forms, and I am whisked into the emergency room.

While I am having my skull removed, my girlfriend, friend, and family all try to figure out what happened. In the waiting room my girlfriend was treated like a secondary citizen. Listening to everyone try to explain how this could have happened. Now keep in mind I still might die any second. This woman has been my best friend, my lover, and my biggest supporter for two years. We spend all our free time together; she was my staple when I was on disability. She was the one who was there for me never judging me even in my weakest moments. There are no secrets between us. If anything we are too honest with each other. We went camping together, we went to play's I cooked for her and her family. Her family welcomed me with open arms. I became a part of her family; she became a part of my life. Plus she has a great a...err butt. We were like any other couple in the world. And she has no say because we are not married. I knew I should have put a wring on her finger

I am in surgery for several hours, my skull removed and then frozen in liquid nitrogen and preserved until my swollen brain returns to normal. This takes almost a month.

2006-01-29T18:04:00.000-08:00

Thank god the brain doesnt have nerves, just the skull!!!

2006-01-29T16:48:00.000-08:00

ok slowly getting use to how to do this, here is the view from Tsatsu.

2006-01-29T16:42:00.000-08:00

here is a photo of the family

2006-01-29T16:35:00.000-08:00

My sister and me a few weeks ago ;*)

Pictures for my family, and me, and my folks new motorhome

2006-01-28T18:47:00.000-08:00

This is a picture from Toronto, where Mandy and her friends live. There is also a picture of my parents new moderhome

2006-01-28T16:13:00.000-08:00

2006-01-28T15:39:00.000-08:00

2006-01-28T14:14:00.000-08:00

My first attempt at a blog

2006-01-28T12:44:00.000-08:00

Ok here is my blog. uhm....ok stop reading now, theres nothing else to see.